Lily Evans and the Marauder's Map
by crazyidea-inc
Summary: It's seventh year and Lily has quite a bit to deal with. What with a werewolf with self-confidence issues, a group of very dramatic friends, & a mysterious map, will she survive? One can only hope. Rated T for moderate language and newly revised.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Demented Lilies

Lily was hanging out of the compartment window, waving enthusiastically to her family. The Hogwarts Express was pulling out of the station and Lily was in danger of being knocked out, but still she waved. Her poor parents looked decidedly awkward amongst the other wizarding families, happy and proud, but awkward nonetheless. And really, being entirely Muggle and unused to the magical bustle that was the Wizarding World, it was perfectly normal for them to look awkward.

"We love you dear!" Mrs. Evans called, barely audible over the hiss of white steam and bustling crowd and very nearly being crushed by one witch levitating a student's trunk to him. "We'll write!"

"Of course you will!" Lily called back, waving and laughing. Write indeed! The old family joke never got old, for the likelihood of Lily's mother writing was like Petunia eloping, incredulous to impossible.

Oh Petunia.

There she was. Lily smile faded somewhat and she looked hopefully at her sister, waiting for the response she knew wouldn't come. Petunia, of the little Muggle family, was the one who was by far the most awkward. Her disapproving scowl conveyed volumes to Lily and she had crossed her arms to glare at passerby. Lily waved once more, happiness dampened.

"Oh Lily, do sit back down!" Alice Hatter pleaded from inside the compartment, leaning against Frank Longbottom and looking very worried. Lily obeyed, but lingered for the slightest of seconds to watch her family disappear as the Hogwarts Express chugged away from Platform Nine and Three Quarters and from the Muggle world..

The train compartment was comfortably stuffed, the air full of hooting from Lily's owl, Scruffy, and laughter and talk from the people inside. Emmeline Vance, a good friend of Lily's, was immersed in dislodging her pack of Exploding Snap cards from beneath her luggage and failing magnificently.

"Everything all right, Lils?" she panted, glancing up at Lily's disappointed face. Lily started.

"Oh fine," she said quickly, flashing a completely fake smile. Tuney was just being Tuney, and it wasn't as if Lily hadn't been expecting it. It was the same every year. But she had hoped, that maybe _this _year...

"Well, did you have a good summer?" Frank asked, startling Lily again. Emmy finally dislodged her pack of cards and was now looking expectantly at Lily.

"What can be good about a summer when your sister has decided that she hates magic—and witches—and seems to be under the delusion that the best way to ignore is to pretend it doesn't exist at all?" she laughed, hiding the wave of unhappiness that she suffered every time Tuney was mentioned.

"Oh Lily," Alice said sympathetically, seeing right through Lily's guise. Alice, of all Lily's friends, was the most keen when it came to feelings. Lily shrugged, still with her fake smile pasted on. She looked out the window, letting Emmy start her chattering about whatever had happened over the summer to her.

XXX

The boy poked the slightly shorter and hesitant boy forward, grinning. The train lurched them around, but rather than hinder the prank, it heightened the fun.

"Go on then, Peter. Get out there and make those first years jump!"

James Potter watched his friend and fellow Marauder shuffle forward, looking as though he'd rather be back in the compartment, but Sirius and James were having none of it. Remus Lupin, however, crossed his arms and glared in his prefect way at them all.

"You know this is entirely immature?" he asked disapprovingly. Sirius burst out laughing, wicked delight infused even in his voice. James just punched Remus' arm, beaming.

"Immature? No, really?" he asked, smirking. Remus frowned, but his lips were twitching. Poor Remus. Forced to uphold the law, and whatnot. James was very glad that he didn't have to deal with such technicalities as proper behavior. Well, not yet at least. But he wouldn't worry about that until he had to.

"And that, if caught, you're going to get _at least _a week of detentions," Remus went on tiredly in a manner that suggested that he knew already that he'd lost the battle. Sirius snickered and James couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Aw Moony, you know we don't care about that stuff until Quidditch season starts," James said smoothly. "Besides, we won't get caught. It's as simple as that." Remus opened his mouth as though to say something, but then closed it, shaking his head.

"As you wish," he said indifferently, and he promptly started off down the corridor. "I'll be with the sane people." James immediately perked up, tuning out Sirius handing Peter the dungbombs he'd be chucking.

"Sane people including Evans?" he asked, trying to make this seem a completely casual question. Remus turned around and walked backwards so he could face James.

"Yes, James, sane people including Lily," he said, a smug sort of smile beginning on his face. "Any message to pass on?" James pretended to think about it, screwing up his face in mock consideration.

"Ah, no," he said finally, shrugging. "Much rather ask her in person." Remus laughed at that.

"Either way, you'll get the same answer," he called over his shoulder as he turned back around, "No!" James scowled. It wasn't his fault Lily Evans was the one girl who was resistant to his charms. Honestly, he could have had any woman - as Sirius was constantly reminding him - and he had to go and get himself tangled up with the likes of the most shrewish, uptight, stubborn, and absolutely intoxicating Lily.

"Stop day dreaming, lover boy," Sirius said exasperatedly, smacking the back of James' head. "Get over here and watch the show." James sighed audibly, running a hand through his ever messy black hair. Adusting his glasses in a holier-than-thou manner, he leaned against the wall to watch Peter's progress.

Peter was sneaking about overdramatically, his eyes flicking from side to side as he clutched at the bag of dungbombs like a lifeline. Sirius was shaking from suppressed laughter and tears were literally leaking out from the corners of his eyes.

"Oh, bless him, he's trying to play spy," he mouthed, unable to speak due to the hilarity James failed to see. Noticing James' lack of enthusiasm, he motioned for him to watch, saying, "Bloody hell, even mentioning the harpy sucks all the fun out of you." James bristled at Sirius calling Lily a harpy, but at that moment Peter, eyes upraised in a silent prayer, threw open a random compartment door, tossed the bag of dungbombs into a surprised girl's lap, and ran like the dickens.

Now James saw the humor, as he, Peter, and Sirius ran away from what they knew was going to be a very explosive surge of smell.

XXX

Lily could not, for the life of her, tear her eyes away from the window.

The hills and dipping lakes were obscured by a thin white fog, unusual for this time of year. Lily allowed the fake happy mask to drop, and she tilted her head as they passed the huge lake, little mist tendrils half obscuring it as well.

"Hello," came a voice from the door, one that Lily knew well. She turned, this time a real smile on her face as her eyes found the boy and girl standing in the doorway.

"Remus! Mary!" squealed Emmy, beaming. Alice and Frank scooted over to make room and Remus Lupin and Mary McDonald, having met up in the corridor, both sat down, looking tired but pleased.

"Just got away from James and Sirius," Remus explained, while Mary made herself comfortable. "They've goaded Peter into planting dungbombs around the corridors and I decided to leave before it got ugly." Everyone laughed except Lily, who was scowling from the mention of James Potter, who she had sworn to loathe for all eternity. Mary rolled her eyes, crossing her legs.

"Oh come on Lily, give it a rest!" she scolded good naturedly, recognizing the familiar (and frequent) expression that was mandatory for whenever Lily decided to go on a rant of the evil of all things Potter. "Most likely Peter chickened out, like he always does. So no harm done."

"All I know is, that stunt with the Howler last year - " Lily started angrily, but the group was saved from her venting by a large muffled explosion from outside. There were several screams, followed by bark like laughter and the distinctive roar of amusement from James. Emmy, Mary, Frank, and Alice burst into laughter again as Remus gave a weary little smile that clearly said, _Well, there it goes._

"Wait a minute!" Frank cried, smacking his forehead and jumping to his feet. "Prefect duty," he said pointedly to Lily and Remus, who got up to follow him as he bounded into the hallway.

Passing several first years in hysterics over the dungbombs, a compartment no doubt filled with the trouble makers themselves, and a little rat scuttling around on the floor, the three made their way to the prefects' compartment.

"Wait," Lily said suddenly, remembering the little envelope she'd gotten over the summer with a little twinge of delight. "I forgot. I'm Head Girl!" Remus did a double take and must have inhaled some dust, for he began to choke and cough violently. After Lily had pounded his back several times he looked at her with mixed guilt and horror.

"I didn't tell you who was Head Boy, did I?" Remus asked with an expression appropriate to delivering that your Great Auntie Harriet had died. Lily shook her head, curious, and Remus seemed to grow even more somber. "Well, it's...it's..." He opened and closed his mouth at least three times before sighing heavily.

"Who?" Lily asked, a slight crease forming between her eyebrows. Remus shuffled his feet and made a point of staring at the floor as though it was the most interesting floor he had ever had the good fortune to step on.

"It's James," he muttered abruptly, still looking fixedly at the floor. "James is Head Boy." Lily stopped walking abruptly, letting Frank and Remus go on. Potter. Potter was Head Boy. James Potter. She blinked herself back to reality and caught up with Remus, who seemed to be in deep melancholy.

"I hate seventh year," she said in a pained voice, grimacing. Remus looked at her with a mildly indignant expression as Frank left, recognizing the signs of a Potter rant.

"_You _hate seventh year?" he asked in an annoyed voice. "Imagine what it's going to be like for the _rest _of us! You'll go to the meeting every month and by the end of the first term the entire castle will be destroyed and James will have suffered severe head injuries. You'll both be at each other's throats and we'll have to watch on in horror as one of you finally snaps and murders the other with a quill."

"Not a bad idea," Lily said thoughtfully, thinking of her quill back in her bag. If she ran and got it fast...

"Oh Lily, he's really not that bad," Remus said tiredly, interrupting her rather gory thoughts of impaling Potter on her quill. Lily pursed her lips.

"Ha," she said testily, "'really not that bad' James, hmm?" Remus groaned, but if Lily was allowed to get past the first word, it was impossible to stop her. "I'm assuming you've conveniently forgotten sixth year and the infamous Howler of Love - "

"Hello, Evans," an infuriatingly cocky voice interrupted. Remus looked horrified.

"Potter," Lily replied coolly. There was a prolonged awkward silence.

"Well, really must be going James," Remus said tentatively, tugging at Lily's sleeve and starting to pull her away. It seemed that this time that there would be no real conflict...a first for the tumultuous pair...

"Y'know,' he said smoothly, "as it's a new year - "

"Save your breath," Lily cut in, scowling, continuing on her way. "You ought to be better behaved now, seeing as you're Head Boy."

"What, and have a self-righteous pine cone stuck up my arse like you?" Lily stopped in her tracks, heat rushing to her cheeks.

And she whipped around and slapped him, right across the face.

Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew stuck their heads outside their compartment door as James, with a look of total surprise, put one hand to the red handprint that was starting to form on his cheek. The bark-like roar of Sirius' laughter mingled with Peter's nasally sniggers and Remus grabbed her shirt and yanked her the remaining ten feet to the compartment and shoved her in.

"What was that?" he demanded furiously, slamming the compartment door shut with more vehemence than was needed.

"You have no - NO IDEA - " Lily managed, practically incoherent with fury. "Tuney said just - and _who does he think he is_, anyway - pine cone, PINE CONE - really original, little jerkface. He deserved to be slapped!"

"Wait, what?" Frank said from where he sat, looking from Lily to Remus for clarification. Lily still looked dangerous.

"Well? Do you have an explanation?" he snapped, glaring at her. "Did your sister finally unhinge your mind? Did you suddenly sustain severe brain damage over the summer?"

"I don't care!" Lily cried. "I'm always nice - ALWAYS - always the good-two-shoes, always 'oh, let's be patient - '"

"You'll have to jog my memory as to when you've ever said that," Remus muttered under his breath.

" - and you know what?" Lily asked loudly, ignoring Remus. "I'm tired of it. The next time Potter opens his mouth and decides to be a git, he will be slapped like a git."

"That's...not advisable..." Frank started lamely, visibly shrinking into the seat as Lily turned on him.

"Advisable, my foot - "

BANG!

The sound of the compartment door slamming open jarred the tension out of the air. There in the doorway was a very frazzled, very stressed Amelia Bones

"Somebody's set off a load of dungbombs!" she yelled in frustration. Frank hastily turned his snort into a cough. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Amelia shouted, obviously strung out to the point of snapping. "Get a mo - "

But the rest of her sentence was lost as the train gave an almighty jerk and stopped. Lights flickered out, several people screamed, and Lily found herself on the floor half crushed under her fellow classmates. With exasperation, she realized Remus' foot was shoved inside her mouth.

"Mmhmmgrrmm," she said in a muffled voice. The foot was pulled out and she shuddered. "Use foot powder Remus," she commented thickly as she staggered to her feet.

"I will, thank you," came his grumbled reply from somewhere under Frank and Amelia, who had turned red with frustration. The cries of frightened first years came from the back of the train. Lily sighed.

"I've got it," she called over her shoulder as she managed to get into the hallway. Confused faces were popping out from their compartments, some scared, some still in shock. "Everybody sit down!" Lily snapped, pushing past the bolder few who had ventured into the unlit hall. Lily walked on, avoiding a little rat skittering around.

"What's going on?" Alice asked as Lily passed, her head sticking out of the compartment door.

"Yeah, Emmy's freaking out. Sybil's been wandering around, panicking about doom and gloom," Mary put in exasperatedly. There was an indignant huff from Emmy behind Alice's shoulder, but to Mary's credit, it did sound a bit shaky. More screams from the first years came, and Lily was forced to keep on walking.

"I dunno what the problem is," she replied back over her shoulder. "We'll sort it out, just stay inside, all right? I'm off to calm down the prats down there who are panicking." Several other friends and acquaintances peered out of their compartments, bewildered and nervous, but Lily had no choice but to continue on her way to take care of the first years.

It took several minutes to finally get to where the source of the screaming was coming, but finally Lily made it.

"What is it?" came the voice of a frightened girl.

"It's going to kill us all!" bawled another, utterly hysterical.

"OY!" Lily shouted, seeing a bluish light up ahead and breaking into a run. "What are you lot doing down there?" She clambered over a broken crate with growing alarm. What was going on? A terrified shriek peirced the air.

"NO!"

"Leave her alone!"

The voices were getting closer. Surely Lily was nearing them?

And then there they were.

XXX

James' stomach growled, not from hunger, but from fear. He would never admit it, but a cold, sinking feeling was spreading throughout him.

Dementors.

That's what had boarded the train. Dementors. He _hated _dementors. They sucked your soul out, for heaven's sake. And James liked his soul exactly where it was, thank you very much.

He was walking around, having left the others, occasionally rubbing the slap mark courtesy of Evans. God, it hurt. She had an arm on her, she did. Should've tried out for Chaser. If nothing else, she'd scare the hell out of the other team just by walking onto the field. You didn't mess with Evans, that's what would've been written on the boy's bathroom stalls if the stalls didn't magically clean themselves every time you tried. You didn't mess with Evans. And he'd messed with Evans. And now his cheek really, really hurt.

"Oy! Potter!"

James whipped around, looking for the source of the voice. It was Emma. No, Esme. Er...Emmeline? Yes, yes, that was it. It was Emmeline Vance, one of - James' heart skipped a beat - Lily's friends.

"You've got to - you've got to warn Lily," Emmeline gasped, completely out of breath. She was doubled over, still managing to glare at him. "Must you wander? I had to run through five cars to get to you!" James rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, I can wander all I want," he said impatiently. "What's this about Evans?"

"Dementors," Emmy said breathlessly, clutching at her side. "She doesn't know."

She didn't know. About the dementors. Oh, brilliant. He nodded once to Emmy and jogged off, getting his wand out as he did. Now he needed to get to Evans. He pulled out the Marauder's Map, the reason Remus must've said he could help. The train was an added feature, thank God. He scanned it quickly, finally finding what he was looking for: the little dot reading, Lily Evans. Right. Now to get to where she was.

And maybe she wouldn't slap him this time...

XXX

The first years were huddled in a group, their faces lit by the eerie blue light from one's wand. They were panicking, scrabbling backwards. Something was reaching for them, a long dead, scabby hand.

Lily's breath was now coming as puffs of fog and the room's warmth was draining away as quickly as her happiness.

"_Expecto Patronum_!" Lily cried, pointing her wand at the dementor. A silvery doe bloomed from her wand, charging the evil creature. But another scabbed, rotting hand closed its skeletal fingers on her arm from behind her. Lily jerked it out of the other dementor's grip, stumbling backwards in mortal terror. The first years were screaming without pause, each wail like a living siren.

Her doe flickered out, leaving the dementor free to join its comrade in surrounding Lily. She whipped around, swinging her wand to each dementor, trying to fight the despair that was threatening to engulf her.

_"Expecto Patro-n-num_," she gasped, dropping to her knees. She knew the spell, she knew it, but when she needed it most, it deserted her. Nothing was happy in her life, how in this miserable earth was she going to think of something even mildly carefree?

Her eyes closed against the sight of the rotting hands reaching for her, but she couldn't block out the feel of them caressing her cheeks, raising her chin up to face them.

The first years' cries and her own ragged breathing echoing in her mind, Lily fainted, but not before she saw a silver stag drive away her death in one fell swoop...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: In Which a Git Becomes a Hero and Goes Back to Being a Git

Lily awoke to someone chafing her wrists. She moaned, and heard several intakes of breath.

All right, she was on the floor, that much she knew, and she could feel the train's motion, so they were still moving. She was very cold, and someone was still rubbing her wrists and why was she on the floor again? Suddenly, in a flash, it all came back. First years - dementors - dead hands that she could almost still feel on her skin -

She sat up abruptly, causing Remus, Mary, Emmy, Alice, Frank, and whoever it had been who had rubbed her wrists to jump.

"What happened?" she asked quickly, ignoring her dizzied mind. "Who - ?" She looked around, confused. Her eyes lighted on someone that she knew all too well.

James Potter.

He was sitting there, looking stunned and worried at the same time.

"You're alive," whispered Alice from where she was kneeling, clinging to Frank's arm. "Oh, Lily." She burst into tears.

"You gave us a right scare there, Lils," Emmy croaked. She was peeking over her hands, which she had covered her eyes with. Remus let out a breath he seemed to have been holding for a long time and he was white faced. Frank cleared his throat, but his eyes looked slightly red.

"Your friends care about you a lot," James said quietly. Lily returned her attention to him, an unfamiliar feeling spreading throughout her. It felt like her stomach was lifting and sinking at the same time.

"Yeah we do," Mary said firmly, looking unnerved. "So try not to go and get yourself killed." Lily shivered at her tone, but took a deep breath.

"What happened?" she repeated, vaguely surprised at how even her voice was. A tension nobody had known was there until it was gone disappeared.

"You didn't know about the dementors," Remus explained, his tired eyes relieved beyond belief.

"So Alice told Frank," Emmy offered, a little grin starting at her mouth.

"To tell Remus," Frank said, half laughing and looking overjoyed to discover that he could still do so.

"To tell Emmy," Mary said, smiling.

"Who told me," James finished with a small smile, "to tell you to be careful. I went happily to convey the news and found you having your soul sucked out." Lily shuddered, swallowing.

"Then you were the one?" she asked suddenly, a crease forming between her eyebrows. "The one who saved me I mean." James nodded.

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled, returning to chafing her wrists. "Everybody thought you were, well..." He dwindled off, avoiding her eyes. Lily finished his sentence in her mind.

_Everybody thought you were, well, dead._

"Wait! The first years!" Lily exclaimed with more than just a little panic, struggling to get up. A sharp pain shot from her ankle and she dropped with a cry. Everybody leapt forward.

"Take it easy, Evans," James said firmly, keeping one hand on her shoulder to keep her down. "Alice took care of the first years. You may have twisted something. Do you mind? My mum's a Healer."

He gestured at her foot and Lily nodded apprehensively. He slipped her shoe off and then her sock, handling her foot with gentle fingers. He prodded a certain point, and again there was that sharp pain. It must have shown in her expression, for he nodded briskly. Belatedly, she realized she was biting her lip and clenching her hands into fists.

"We'll go," Emmy said slyly, giving Alice a significant look who in turn gave a more exasperated look to Mary. Emmy smiled cheekily at Lily, one eyebrow raised. Remus was looking slightly alarmed, his eyes flicking from James and Lily. Lily could almost see visions of James being impaled on quills flashing in front of him.

"Okay," Frank said helplessly, obviously awkward amongst matchmaking attempts. Lily begged silently for them not to leave her alone with James, but one by one they did, with excuses varying from checking on first years to getting a cup of tea.

"I'm going to pick you up now, all right?" James asked cautiously, startling Lily out of making a mental note to kick Emmy. She nodded warily, and James slipped his arms under her and carefully picked her up. Lily gritted her teeth. Her foot was throbbing again.

He carried her into the nearest compartment and gently laid her down on the seat. For several moments they sat in an extremely disconcerting silence.

"Hey," Lily said quietly, staring pointedly at the upholstery. "Just, thanks. For saving me. I owe you on this one."

"Anybody would have done that," James said after a beat. He opened his mouth to say something, then turned red and closed it again. Subconsciously, he began rubbing the spot where Lily had slapped him. It was now turning into a purplish bruise.

"Um, sorry for slapping you," Lily said apologetically, glancing up at the ugly mark and feeling her stomach tie itself in knots. "My sister...erm, said something like that right before we left, and I'm still a bit mad. About what she said. So, er..."

"I shouldn't've said it," James said immediately. "It was stupid." Lily nodded, feeling supremely uneasy.

"Anyway, I guess it was, but, er, saving me was really, really nice," she finished lamely. Really, really nice. Wow. That sounded really, really intelligent.

"No problem."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

The rest of the train ride passed by in silence. They had been only a few minutes away, but it seemed to take an eternity. Finally, _finally_, James helped Lily out of the compartment. She had to lean heavily on him, and there were several moments when they had to stop and rest, but eventually they made it to the carriages with no horses, where James dropped her off.

"You think you'll make it all right?" he asked, hesitating. Lily was sitting on the seat while he stood in limbo, half on the carriage, half off.

"I'm fine," she said, not unkindly. He nodded uncertainly and left. "Thank you," she called as an afterthought, but the crowd of chattering students had already swallowed him up.

XXX

James jogged off, feeling both pleased with himself and an unfamiliar emotion he supposed was a sense of responsibility. Shuddering at the mere thought, he saw Sirius waving at him from a carriage where Remus and Peter also sat.

"Well, now you've saved her, she owes you one," was the first thing out of Sirius' mouth when James had gotten settled.

"She doesn't _owe _me anything," James replied, nettled. "She's not dead, which is all that matters." Sirius sighed heavily.

"James mate, with _your _luck with Evans, you need to take every chance you get," he said wisely, nodding his head and fixing James with an it's-for-your-own-good look. Remus cut in before anyone could do anything stupid.

"Stop it, both of you. There are more important things at hand. Mainly the Order," he said seriously, a crease between his brows at having to mention the Order of the Phoenix. They'd joined it in sixth year, after Sirius had separated from his family. "Shouldn't they know if a dementor strays from its duties? They were only supposed to be on the outside of the train, Dumbledore's explicit orders. Maybe a coordinated attack?"

"It was. A coordinated attack, I mean. It was a coordinated attack," James put in, the memory flaring up before him. "Yeah, I Patronused 'em and they both glided off. But there were definitely two. And before I said the spell, they were both going for her." He repressed an involuntary shiver at Lily's avoided fate, but he could not stop the goosebumps that raised up on his arms, an ominous prickling. It had been a moment of sheer primal terror for him when he had skidded into the storage car only to see Lily, limp and lifeless and in the arms of death in solid form.

"Hey? James? Hel-lo-o?" Sirius said slowly, waving a hand up and down in front of James face. James was jerked out of the thought in an instant.

"You okay mate?" Peter asked, frowning concernedly. James shrugged, ruffling his hair like he always did when he was grappling with some confusing emotion.

"Yeah," he said at length. "Yeah," he said again, determined to deflect the attention from himself for once, "but Remus is right. We're going to have to contact the Order." Sirius wrinkled his nose.

"Things are getting bad out there, aren't they?" he asked breezily, seemingly unconcerned, but those who knew him well could see he was shaking in his boots. "Bring it on."

"That's right," Remus laughed, breaking the tension. "Dementor attacks are for mere mortals. We, however, are of a hardier, more durable breed."

"Invincible, that's what we are!"

"You-Know-Who can kiss my-"

"Watch it now, Mr. Padfoot, naughty words do not become us invincible people."

"Oh, _of course_, you're completely right, Mr. Prongs. My mistake."

"I was referring to You-Know-Who. Say his real name, honestly, it's Voldemort."

"Getting daring, are we?"

"Nah, just getting smart-ass."

Sirius snorted. Remus gave the group his signature eye roll. Peter grinned. And James, though the image of a half-dead Evans still lingered unpleasantly in the back of his mind, grinned back. In fact, the happy atmosphere did him good, enough good to remind him of something.

"Ah, Mr. Moony?" he asked jauntily. Remus' chuckles dwindled down and he looked at James expectantly. James allowed himself an evil grin.

"What?" Remus asked warily, smile fading. He knew James too well not to be worried if he had _that _expression on his face.

"Just a favor, my good man, don't panic. I was just wondering if you wouldn't mind passing on a little message to Evans..."

XXX

Lily clasped and unclasped her hands, unsure of what to do next. She'd been attacked by a dementor, saved by someone whom she had recently slapped, reconciled with said person despite prior oaths to loathe said person forever, and now she was sitting in a carriage, twiddling her thumbs. She grimaced. Lovely.

If this was the beginning of the year, what would the rest of it be like?

Suddenly, something fluttered down from the seat, catching her eye.

Bending over, she saw it was a piece of parchment, a bit crumpled, a bit worn, but it seemed to give off an odd comforting feeling. She picked it up, nearly dropping it as a voice startled her.

"Lily!"

"Oh, you're back then," Lily said brightly, stowing the parchment away as Alice, Frank, Mary, and Emmy came running up to join her in the carriage.

"Are you all right?" Alice cried, looking worried. Lily grinned as Emmy and Frank started spouting various questions and concerns.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she said over her friends' uproar. "Really!" Emmy and Alice sat back, appeased for the moment, and Frank folded his arms while Mary did her trademark leg crossing thing.

"Where's Remus?" Lily asked, looking around.

"Oh, he's joined James and Sirius," Frank explained, gesturing towards a carriage driving away. Lily nodded, disappointed.

"We figured out why that dementor attacked you!" Emmy burst out, obviously unable to constrain herself anymore. Mary and Frank groaned.

"Emmeline!" Alice scolded, frowning and glancing about at the sea of students barreling past them. "The driver said not to tell anyone until we were at least alone!" Emmy bounced up and down, looking half excited, half guilty.

"Just listen," she said in a quieter voice bubbling with eagerness. "They were searching for Death Eaters."

"Death Eaters?" Lily asked confused. Alice and Frank exchanged a significant look. Mary stared. "What?" Lily demanded. She was getting the annoying feeling that she was again demonstrating her ignorance of what was going on in the Wizarding World. Well, it wasn't her fault. Living with her parents (and Petunia), she had figured it was best to downplay the darker side of magic.

"You-Know-Who's supporters," Emmy whispered, leaning forward. "They're moving again. A couple attacked some Muggles near here. The dementors were guarding the train and, well, got distracted I suppose."

"You-Know-Who," Lily said in a barely audible voice. "He's getting stronger?" Frank nodded and Alice looked uncharacteristically grave.

"We know you don't get the _Daily Prophet_, but if you were reading...well there's been some funny deaths, Dark Mark sightings, that sort of thing. My mum reckons it's only the beginning," Frank said in a low tones, glancing around cautiously.

"It's getting dark out there all right. Frank's mum's never been wrong," Mary added, expression serious. "Even Dumbledore's getting worried."

Lily sat back, her heart thumping faster than usual. Voldemort was getting stronger. The carriage ride was quiet the rest of the way, each passenger thinking about these revelations. Each bump or rut in the road caused Lily's ankle to throb painfully, but she ignored it, wondering once more if her last year at Hogwarts would be safe.

They arrived at the school far quicker than any of them had realized. The sounds of excited children and shouts to old friends jolted them back to reality.

"Miss Evans!" Lily turned around to see her Transfiguration teacher running towards them. "Miss Evans, are you quite all right?" Professor McGonagall demanded. She waved away Alice, Frank, Mary, and Emmy, who left with reluctant backward glances.

"I'm fine Professor, really I am," Lily insisted, giving her a weary smile. Professor McGonagall, however, didn't return it.

"Miss Evans, was Mr. Potter lying, or were you really attacked by a dementor," she asked sharply. Lily hesitated for a second, then nodded. Professor McGonagall sucked in her breath and her nostrils flared white. "We need to get you to the hospital wing," she said suddenly, holding out her hand.

Professor McGonagall helped her to the castle, then down the various corridors to the hospital where an irate Madam Pomfrey waited.

"Dementors!" she snapped when the teacher and girl entered the room. "Dementors! Can you imagine? And attacking a student! Well Miss Evans, I must say it is nice to see you, but I wish it wasn't under such circumstances." Lily bit back a laugh. She liked the nurse. She had helped her a bit in her sixth year with medicines and potions and such.

"She'll just need some fixing up, Poppy," Professor McGonagall said briskly, sitting Lily down on a bed. "I must go to speak to Professor Dumbledore." She swept out of the room at lively pace, her emerald robes swishing behind her.

"Now, what exactly is the matter with you?" Madam Pomfrey asked, pulling out her wand.

"Just my ankle," Lily explained, baring her foot. Madam Pomfrey continued to mutter about the dangers of dementors and irresponsibilities of the Ministry officials who controlled them as she waved her wand. Lily felt immediate relief, but it was obvious Madam Pomfrey wasn't going to relinquish her patient without a fight.

After a good thirty-one minutes of insisting she was really quite fine, thank you and that no, no, she could get back to the common room without assistance, Lily was walking up the moving staircases to the Gryffindor common room. Her foot didn't throb once, and although Madam Pomfrey could be an awful stickler for making sure of a full recovery, Lily was immensely grateful for the nurse's healing, and even more so for the large slab of chocolate she'd recieved.

"Password?" asked the Fat Lady in her portrait. Lily came to a halt abruptly, biting her lip. She didn't know the password.

"Oh really now, it's _Felix Felicis_," said Remus' voice impatiently behind her. The Fat Lady looked slightly miffed as she swung in, but Lily grinned as Remus clambered in through the portrait hole in front of her.

"You went with James," Lily said in a mildly indignant way, sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the fire.

"Yes I did," Remus replied, unfazed. "He sends his regards." Lily snorted, her lips twitching as she gazed into the flames.

"Right nice of him to save me," she commented, her fingers tapping against the arms of the chair.

"Yes it was," Remus said pointedly. Lily stared at him for a moment, then relented.

"Oh, all right. He probably already told you I apologized for slapping him, anyway," she muttered grudgingly. Remus sighed.

"He didn't, actually. But I'm glad you did it. No more tantrums, please?" he asked and Lily bristled.

"It wasn't a tantrum," she snapped. "Tuney said something - oh, nevermind." Remus' expression gentled a bit.

"Well, I may have something that will cheer you up," he said after a moment, a tad too innocently. "James would like to know if - " He stopped at the expression on her face, smirking. "I told him you would do this. He, of course, didn't listen to me."

"You mean he's asking me out? Again?" Lily said in a dangerous voice. Remus grinned happily.

"Yup," he said with relish. "I can't wait to rub this into his face." Lily completely bypassed red and turned an interesting shade of scarlet.

"The GIT!" she yelled, standing up. Alice, and Emmy walked into the common room just in time to see Lily kick the armchair with her newly mended foot while Remus roared with laughter.

"James," the two girls said in bored unison. They knew the drill well enough.

"He's a horrid, unfeeling, idiotic git!" Lily shouted, not sure why she was so angry, but angry enough not to care that she wasn't sure.

"Think I'll go to bed," Remus said in an amused way, jogging up the boys' dormitory stairs. Mary popped her head out from the girls' dorm, took one look at Lily, and retreated in a hurry.

"Sounds good to me," Emmy said tiredly, and she and Alice disappeared back up the girls' dormitory stairs. Lily remained standing for a few more minutes, breathing hard but not shouting anymore. She sat back down in her armchair, hands clenched into fists. The portraits surrounding her shifted uneasily.

"Well he _is _a git," she said to nobody in particular.

"That's the ticket dear," said a portrait of a hunter sleepily.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Marauders and Marauding

"Were you really attacked by a dementor?"

"James saved you?"

"Oh, how _romantic_!"

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"What happened to the first years? I want to know about the first years!"

"A dementor! A bloomin' dementor!"

For several days, Lily was bewitched, bothered, and bewildered with people demanding what exactly had happened. Eventually it died down, and to be honest, Lily was quite relieved. Popularity wasn't something she really aspired to and being crushed in a crowd of nosy gossipers was not only annoying, it also caused her to be late.

"Lunch," Lily moaned happily, plopping down in a seat next to Emmy and Mary. Alice and Frank had mysteriously disappeared and Lily enjoyed being around someone who wouldn't squeal to hear for the umpteenth time how James saved her.

"What's that?" Emmy asked thickly, her mouth full of food. Mary, the stickler for manners, rapped Emmy's knuckles with her fork, but, as usual, it had no effect. Lily followed her finger to see the little piece of parchment she had found on the floor. It must have fallen out of her bag.

"Oh nothing," she said offhandedly, picking it up and fingering it. "Just - oh, no." Sirius Black was walking towards them, and usually where Black was, trouble wasn't far behind.

"Evans," Sirius called as he approached them. Lily sighed in annoyance and stowed away the parchment back in her bag. She didn't know why she was keeping it. She just was.

"What do you want?" she snapped to the boy who was practically strutting towards them. He sat down next to them and dexteriously picked a bit of steak off from Lily's plate and ate it.

"By command of Professor McGonagall, you and James are hereby required to meet tonight in the Gryffindor Common Room and create a schedule of prefect rounds for the next week, to be handed in next Transfiguration class," Sirius said grandly through chewing, bowing majestically and reaching for another piece of steak as he did.

Lily slapped his hand and he withdrew it with a hurt expression. He swallowed almightily, then continued.

"All right, all right, you she-devil! Don't shoot the messenger." He walked backwards, scrutinizing her critically.

"What?" Lily demanded, wishing magic was allowed in the hallways. _I wonder how cocky Black would look with tentacles for legs._

"Common room," Sirius called over his shoulder as he turned around and walked away. "Eleven-thirty sharp after prefect rounds!" Lily stood up to give him a piece of her mind, but he was gone, a group of giggling girls having surrounded him.

"Stupid git," she growled, returning to her food, only to see it zoom away in the direction Sirius had left.

"You may not like him," Emmy commented as she stood up, watching the food wind its way through the crowd of students departing from lunch, "but you've got to admit he's cool."

"No, I don't have to admit he's cool. He's a cocky idiot, just like James," Lily replied hotly, scowling.

"Ooo, calling him James now, not Potter? Are we getting _personal_, Lily? Have we finally given in to destiny?" Emmy, being the romanticist she was, gushed melodramatically. Lily merely glared. Mary snorted, but said nothing. Lily, having no food to eat and nothing to do, pulled out the parchment again. Suddenly something caught her eye. It looked like a moving black dot, but then, that was impossible, wasn't it? She unfolded the parchment and gasped.

It wasn't a piece of parchment.

It was a map.

Tiny black lines created a map of Hogwarts, so thin they could have been drawn by fairies. There were moving dots, so she hadn't imagined it, but the amazing thing was the dots weren't only moving, they were _people_. The dots had little labels that had the names of people Lily knew and didn't know and they were moving, like some sort of tracking system. Lily traced the inky hallways until she found the Great Hall, where she was. And indeed, amongst a throng of others, was a dot that was labeled 'Lily Evans.'

With a thrill of excitement, Lily flipped back to the front, and there read in spidery script:

Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aid to Magical Mischief-Makers

_are proud to present _

The Marauder's Map.

"What's wrong, Lils? You look like you've been whacked with a bludger," Emmy asked, and it was like her voice was from a long way away.

"Look," Lily managed to say, holding out the map with a shaking hand. Emmy took it looking confused, but as she turned it over her expression went from bewildered to shell shocked. Mary, curious, leaned over her shoulder. Lily watched as her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"It's amazing!" she cried, Lily shushing her hurriedly. "Who do you think it belongs to?" she asked in a quieter voice. Lily shrugged, taking it back.

"I found it the night with the dementor," she explained in an undertone. "It could belong to anyone. Isn't it brilliant? Just think how easy patrols could be...no more dodgy third years sneaking under the radar to snog - " Emmy did a double take and her jaw dropped.

"Magical mischief-makers - Lily, it's Potter's."

"No, it's not. He's smart, I'll grant you, but he doesn't have the attention span to do something like this." She sighed. "For once, could you not try to make Potter and I an item? Can't I just enjoy this without you somehow dragging _him _into it?"

"Lily's right," Mary put in. "If James or even Sirius had something to do with this, don't you think they'd be parading it all over the school? Brilliant they may be, subtle they are not." Lily grinned.

"I can drink to that," she agreed, tapping her glass of pumpking juice to Mary's. "Do you remember the Howler? If there was anything lacking in subtlety, then that, my friends, takes the cake. As well as every other concievable dessert."

"It'll be him," Emmy said loftily, tapping her temple with her finger. "Just you wait." Lily rolled her eyes.

"The day that Potter does something subtle will be the day pigs fly and the day I will agree to kiss him, as you have begged me to do for the last three years. Happy now?" she replied coolly. Emmy made a face.

"Just you wait," she repeated. "Just you wait."

XXX

"All right then troops, you know the drill," Sirius said gruffly, saluting James and Peter. "Transformation's done, and we're out cadets. March!"

"Oh shove it," Remus said tiredly, limping and rubbing his sore muscles. "God that was awful."

"Sorry, Moony," James said apologetically, but Remus merely waved him off.

"Not your fault," he said, wincing. James and Sirius exchanged a look. Peter was frowning, glancing from the ex-werewolf (for now) to the other two Animaguses. Finally, Sirius just shrugged and the four boys stooped down to get into the little passage that led from the Shrieking Shack to the Whomping Willow entrance and began to walk.

"Ah, dammit, I forgot the bloody Head meeting," James said and then swore vehemently, aggravated. A somewhat bemused silence filled the air.

"Lovely night," Peter commented.

"Yeah," Sirius said in agreement, but the conversation pretty much stopped there. James was too preoccupied with not scraping his head on the ceiling to help out much (plus he was very annoyed with himself for being late for what could be his date with destiny...or Lily), and Remus seemed to be really on the edge, looking around as though expecting someone to jump out at them and yell, 'Boo!'

James, forgetting about the ceiling, suddenly felt very tense as well, and from the way Sirius and Peter stiffened, it wasn't just him. The hair on the nape of his neck stood straight up and he tasted bitter adrenaline in his mouth as though he'd need to start running. Why would he run, though? There was no danger, there was no danger, there was no danger. That was simply it.

"This may sound incredibly stupid," Sirius said as they approached the entrance, "but does anybody else get the feeling we're being watched?" Remus opened his mouth and closed it while Peter merely gripped his wand tighter.

"Watched?" James rasped. He cleared his throat and wet his lips. "No. Not at all." A twig snapped. "_Yes, yes I get that feeling so let's get the bloody hell out of here_." Nobody moved, as they all seemed to have frozen in anticipation.

"RUN!" Peter suddenly bellowed and they all bolted. The brave Marauders burst through the entrance and kept on going for a few yards until they slowed, stood, alone and out in the open. They looked at each other for a moment before Sirius laughed nervously.

"Could've sworn I heard something back there," Sirius said, the terror flickering in his eyes belying the sheepish smile.

"Yeah. Me too," Peter squeaked. Remus said nothing, but growled deep in his throat. There was a moment in which the very air seemed to shiver. Then the shadows morphed into humans, humans who whipped out their wands and began to rain spells down on the four boys.

James wheeled around, doing his best not to lose himself in the panic as he began returning fire.

They were in an ambush.

A bloody ambush.

He grimaced, shoving Remus and Sirius down before grabbing Peter around the ankles and getting him on the ground and out of the line of fire as well.

"How did they get in?" Sirius barked. The whites of his eyes were showing.

"I - I don't know," Peter cried, darting around.

"Okay, I have a plan!" Remus yelled, trying to shimmy backwards only to find that the Whomping Willow wasn't as immobile as he would have preferred.

"What? WHAT?" Sirius yelped, shooting a hex while also scrabbling backwards. Unfortunately, he was not as aware of the tree's awakening as Remus was, and so recieved a nasty whip from a thin branch.

"Let's all get under the Invisibility Cloak!"

"Bloody hell, we haven't all fit under that for a good year! Think again! God, I thought you were the _smart _one!" James shouted exasperatedly.

"I'm a bit busy right now, so be grateful I'm still coherent enough to come up with something since NEITHER OF YOU TWO ARE CONTRIBUTING MUCH BUT BRUTE FORCE!" Remus roared. James rolled his eyes and tried instead to focus on knocking out as many of the attackers as he could before he himself was knocked out.

Which, as it turned out, didn't take very long at all.

XXX

"Eleven-thirty he said, eleven-thirty _sharp _and what time is it? It's practically morning!" Lily said furiously, throwing down her quill on the half-finished schedule. "He's lucky I'm getting a head start on those N.E.W.T.s..."

"Maybe he was delayed," the portrait of the hunter growled sleepily, frowning without opening his eyes. "Meanwhile, why don't you let the rest of us get some rest? As you've been saying for the last_ several hours _it's fairly late and some of us need our rest!"

"All I know is, if he dares to even _think _about complaining if this schedule interferes with his precious Quidditch practices, he is _dead_. Probably skipped to mess with Sev...or some stupid prank..."

"Look, my dear, you've said it yourself, repeatedly, you had some practice N.E.W.T.s to do anyway and that you wouldn't be going to sleep tonight even if there was no meeting." The rest of the paintings nodded their heads, muttering agreement.

"That's not the point!" Lily said defensively. "The point is, when someone says they will be somewhere at a certain time, they ought to be there at that certain time. It just goes to show...what Dumbledore was thinking, making him Head Boy..."

"Do you know what I think, young lady?" an eighteenth century monk asked irritably. "I think you are _enamoured _of this boy. I think he bothers you because you're _attracted _to him." Lily gaped, speechless.

"We agree," chorused a painting of sixteenth century philosophers. "We don't need to know about your insignificant romances. Go find another young lady to babble on to about your love squabbles, but otherwise, keep such nonsense to yourself!" Lily opened her mouth to protest her involvement in _any _love squabbles, much less one with James Potter, when the portrait hole behind her swung opened with a bang.

"You - !" was all she managed to get out as she whipped around. Sirius was standing there, supporting an unconscious, bloodied, and half dead James.

"Well, _help _me why don't you?" Sirius snapped, his voice cracking with strain. Lily ran forward and helped him carry James to the couch, where she stood there as Sirius dropped a silvery cloak on the floor in exhaustion.

"Sirius - wh-what?"she asked weakly, her heart thumping horribly fast. James was completely out of it, his messy black hair matted with blood and his robes torn and dripping in still more blood.

"James sends his apologies, but he was...detained," Sirius panted, trying in vain to catch his breath. "Just go up to bed, I'll fix him up." Lily stared at him incredulously.

"You think I'm just going to leave him like this?" she demanded angrily. Sirius raised one eyebrow. "Look he got me out of a tough spot, and it's not like anyone would trust you with healing." Sirius opened his mouth to retort, but fell abruptly silent as Lily pointed her wand at James.

"What are you doing?" he asked warily, his eyes still on the wand. Lily shot him a mocking look.

"I'm killing your best friend," she said sarcastically, but Sirius only seemed to become more alarmed. "You idiot, I'm going to _heal _him!"

Sirius still looked apprehensive as Lily started muttering incantations, but when the blood flow stopped and some bruises started disappearing, he looked less worried.

"Now what happened?" Lily asked impatiently, still waving her wand. Suddenly she was extremely grateful for her internship last year with Madam Pomfrey.

"None of your business," Sirius said stubbornly.

"I'll tell Professor McGonagall," Lily said viciously. "I'll tell Professor McGonagall, just see if I don't!" Sirius looked at her in a mixture of disgust and horror.

"You wouldn't," he said darkly, but his tone was brimming with doubt.

"Oh believe me," Lily threatened, eyes narrowed, "I _would_." But just then James moaned and Lily and Sirius were too distracted to hate each other.

"I can't tell you all of it," Sirius said at last, agitatedly, "but...okay, we were attacked by some people on the grounds, we all couldn't fit under the Invisibility Cloak, and we all kind of panicked. Could you just fix him, please? I have to go find Remus and Peter before they get hurt."

Lily nearly dropped her wand.

"You were running around on the grounds with Remus?" she gasped, eyes wide. "With an _Invisibility Cloak_?"

"Well, we do it a lot," Sirius said hurriedly, obviously acutely aware that he had just let something slip. "It's good for the Order to know what's going on at Hogsm - "

"Order?" Lily squeaked, trying to take in all of the information. "What Order?"

"Just forget everything I just said!" Sirius said through gritted teeth. "Shouldn't have told you that, just forget it, forget it, forget it!"

"You are an _idiot_," groaned a voice in between them. This time Lily did drop her wand.

"James, mate, you feeling all right?" Sirius asked at once, his head snapping to look down at his stirring friend. James blinked, looked around, and groaned again.

"I swear, I'll kill those b - er, bad people," he finished awkwardly, glancing at Lily. Lily got the distinct impression that he hadn't meant to say 'bad people.' She picked up her wand and took a deep breath.

"Potter, Black," she said in what she dearly hoped was a very commanding, charismatic voice, "I want to know what's going on." James and Sirius looked at each other, obviously at a loss as to what to say.

"Listen Evans, it's not that we don't trust you," James started, biting his lip.

"Actually it is," Sirius muttered under his breath. James glared at him for a moment before continuing.

"It's just that-that...well, if he hasn't...it's not really my place to say..." he dwindled off, looking rather cowed at Lily's expression, which was beginning to resemble McGonagall at her worst. Suddenly the portrait hole swung open for the second time that night to reveal a rather disheveled Remus and Peter.

"You're all right!" Remus shouted, scrambling through the portrait hole to half run, half trip to look at James. Peter took one look at Lily and shot up the boys' dormitory stairs.

"Remus," Lily asked in a voice of forced calm, "what is going on?" The room abruptly became very quiet and everyone turned to look at her.

"Lily," Remus said helplessly, looking at her pleadingly, "Lily, it's complicated." Lily folded her arms with a great deal of deliberation, looking at him in an almost accusatory way.

"Life," she said at last, "is complicated and my curiosity is just killing me. I want to know," she said, her voice rising with the slightest note of hysteria, "why James was dragged in here half dead, why you were all running around the grounds, why you were attacked, and what this blasted Order is!"

There was a very strained pause.

"All right," Remus said tiredly. James and Sirius opened their mouths to protest, but Remus quieted them with a look. "Have you ever noticed that I disappear once a month?" he asked Lily.

"Of course I notice," Lily said, stung. "And I know you're a werewolf, if that's what this is all about!" For a moment there was a very stunned silence.

"You knew?" Remus asked in a completely different voice. Lily blinked, unfolding her arms.

"Well either your mother has a horrid immune system or you were a werewolf," she said pointedly. "You had all the symptoms, you got tired in a rather daily way. I'm not stupid Remus," she said in more gentle voice. "I don't mind. It's not something that's bad. Lycanthropy's common, Emmy's uncle has it too. Honestly," she said with a laugh, "I thought you were going to tell me you were practicing some illegal magic, not something I already know."

Remus gave her a grateful look, but James turned red and Sirius coughed in an embarrassed way.

"Yeah, about the whole illegal magic thing," Sirius said sheepishly, while James made a fruitless attempt at kicking him without getting up. Lily decided that she had heard enough and that Remus could explain at a later date. Bed sounded much more enticing than more mysteries.

"You know what?" Lily asked in an irritated voice, returning her attention to them. "I don't want to know." She nodded to Remus courteously and sent her best contemptuous glance at James and Sirius.

As she walked up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, she heard James' hopefully sarcastic reply.

"Love you, too."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: A Slip Up

From that point on, Lily noticed that security at the castle was a bit tighter, that James and Sirius were positively saintly, and that whenever Lily tried to bring up the subject of attackers or an Order, Remus became suddenly mute. Four weeks of this got tiring extremely quickly.

"Not sitting with James?" Lily asked coolly while Remus sat down and helped himself to the scrambled eggs.

"Nope," he replied tiredly.

"Did you have a nice night?" Lily asked sweetly; the previous night had been the full moon, and it had not escaped her notice that he, James, Sirius, and Peter had been absent until obscene hours. Remus snorted but said nothing.

"We've got Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs this morning," Alice said happily.

"You mean we have Defense Against the Dark Arts with _Frank _this morning," she teased while Alice blushed a light pink. Mary sighed in a world weary way, stirring her tea.

"Oh, leave her be," Remus said halfheartedly, no doubt more interested in his breakfast than giggling girls.

This was not the case with Sirius Black.

Lily scowled as she saw James and Sirius make their way down to the Great Hall. Both had large groups of girls surrounding them. James looked bored, but Sirius seemed to revel in the attention.

Lily turned back to Emmy, about to tell her to stop annoying Alice, but Emmy had stopped her teasing. She was instead looking at Sirius with a strange expression on her face, half-amused, half-irritated.

"Emmy?" she asked, concerned. Emmy started, dropping the fork that had been hovering next to her mouth.

"What?" she asked quickly, her eyes flicking back once more to Sirius before returning to Lily. Lily scrutinized her for a moment. Mary was squinting at Emmy too, her expression suspicious.

"Nothing," Lily replied at last, still watching Emmy. "Nothing." Emmy looked relieved and suddenly Lily needed to get up, to do something. "I'll see you later," she called over her shoulder as she started off towards the Grand Staircase.

"You look like you're in deep thought," James commented as she passed him, thinking. Lily stopped short, jolted out of her meditation.

"_Was _in deep thought," she corrected him with a glare, continuing on and refraining from jinxing James into oblivion. She heard his infuriatingly cocky laugh as she made her way up the Grand Staircase.

As she walked up the steps to the third floor and the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, she reflected on the mystery that was James Potter.

He had been running around the grounds for years with a transformed werewolf of all people, most likely practicing illegal magic, and yet had never been caught. Not only that, but it seemed that he had dropped most of the asking out rubbish, and had even - heaven forbid - _matured_. It was one of those inescapable facts of life, one of those strange phenomenon that Lily did her best to avoid, simply for the reason that they couldn't be solved.

She pulled out her book, rolling her shoulders and trying to forget Potter. _Jane Eyre_ would take her mind off things...although honestly, how had she gone this long without having any idea that Charlotte Bronte was a witch until Emmy had told her during the summer?

Lily had absolutely no idea that the staircase below her feet had swung out into open air until she stepped off of it completely.

There was no screaming, no panicking, and there was most certainly no life flashing before her eyes. In fact, the only conscious thought she had was, _Oh drat, I'm going to be late._

Perhaps people screamed as they saw the girl fall past them from fifty-ish yards above, perhaps they didn't, Lily didn't know. You would be numb too if you'd fallen two stories. Her hair whipped around her face, and she could see the ceiling, way up away. Someone shouted below her, and Lily felt her fall slow considerably before she fell with a plop into

James

Potter's

arms.

He lowered his wand to better support her, and Lily found herself once again looking into those hazel eyes. She was still numb, but she noticed something she hadn't noticed before. His eyes had little golden flecks in them.

"Is this going to become a habit Evans?" James asked, his broad grin contrasting with his white face. Lily squinted up at him, acutely aware that he was still holding her.

"You can let go of me now," Lily said pointedly and James put her down. Her bag he let hit the floor with a thud, nearly hitting a trio of fourth year girls diving out of its way. But _Jane Eyre_ he snatched out of the air with almost a bored reflex. He gave it to her as all in the vicinity burst into adoring applause. Lily felt her usual blush burning its way up from her collar.

"Thank you very much. May I go now?" she asked slowly through gritted teeth.

"Ah, but Evans," James said delightedly, looking very pleased with himself, "as we are going to the same class, I should escort you up there. You know, to make sure you don't fall off any staircases."

"No," Lily hissed immediately in reply as the quickly growing crowd around them laughed, "but _you _might need an escort. Because if _you_ are mysteriously pushed off a staircase yourself, you won't be so lucky as to have someone to catch you!" James threw back his head and laughed.

"Well, that's gratitude for you," he grinned, the golden flecks in his eyes sparkling. "See you in class Evans," he said with only the slightest hint of amusement in his voice, and with that, he turned on his heels and practically leapt up the stairs, leaving Lily to fume.

"Well, what are you all looking at?" she yelled at the students who had continued to gawk. "Move!" The crowd dissipated fairly quickly, obviously not willing to invoke the wrath of Lily Evans. Lily thought, as she walked up the stairs, that maybe, _just maybe_, this wouldn't turn into the usual James/Lily fiasco, but she was proven wrong almost immediately. A shout caused her to turn around, and she saw Remus, Emmy, Alice, and Mary running towards her.

"There's a rumor - "

" - about you -"

" - falling off a staircase - "

" - and Potter saving you!" Emmy finished, gasping. She looked exhilarated at this new piece of gossip. "Well?" she demanded, doubled over slightly as she fought to regain her breath. Lily sighed. It _had _traveled that fast. Well.

"Oh fine," she said acidly. "It's true. Go on then. Laugh your bloody heads off."

Her friends did, and with gusto.

"HA!" Emmy cried triumphantly when the amusement had died down. Remus gave her a dirty look, but dug around in his pockets. He finally pulled out a galleon and shoved it into Emmy's expectantly open palm.

"Oh come on," Lily said in exasperation as Emmy pocketed the galleon with relish, "you're making bets on me?" Mary giggled at her scowl.

"Yes we are," Remus grumbled, looking annoyed. "And I'll be bankrupt if you keep this up!" He glared at Emmy, who shot him a smug look.

"Keep what up?" Lily retorted hotly. "It's not _my _fault you constantly assume - "

"Oh, shut up Lily," Mary adomnished her, laughing outright now, and she led the group on their way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

XXX

"She fell off a staircase and you caught her? God, she's clumsier than I thought," Sirius said dispassionately. James stared at him in disbelief.

"She fell. Into my arms," he said slowly and clearly, but Sirius didn't seem to be enthralled with it at all. If anything, he looked bored. James frowned, sitting back in his seat. They'd arrived early for DADA, but then, they _always _were early for classes. It gave them ample planning time for the most evil of pranks. Most of them involving Snivellus. But today, even messing with Snivellus was trumped by the miracle that had just occurred.

"Wonder where Remus is," Sirius said hurriedly as James opened his mouth to go on about Evans. "Did you see him back there?"

"No," James said, sulking somewhat. This was one of the most important moments in history. He, James Potter, had held Lily Evans in his arms for a substantial amount of time without being hexed. And Sirius didn't want to rejoice with him.

Git.

People started filing in then, and James went to go sit with Peter, who he knew would not mind anything. He could tell the bloke that he'd always hated him, or that he thought rats were nasty, vile creatures. Peter would always be happy to hear whatever James had to say.

James ruffled his hair as he leaned back in his chair, reviewing the sequence of events. It had been a pretty good catch, even if he did say so himself. Of course, Lily Evans nearly dying in front of him again was not near the top of his list of favorite things, but if it helped, he'd take it.

As soon as the crowing and the cat-calling started, he knew exactly who had entered the room. As he swiveled in his seat to watch Lily run the gauntlet, he grimaced. Just because he couldn't stop them from laughing didn't mean he wouldn't get blamed for starting it. And judging from the pissed expression on Evans' face, the finger pointing started now.

As much of a manly man James tried to be, he still was terrified when it came to angry women. Whatever that quote was about a woman scorned or something or other? He lived by it. He suspected he had inherited it from his father, who turned to jelly whenever his mother yelled at him.

James decided to simply study the little scorch mark on his desk as opposed to facing Lily's wrath.

XXX

"Way to go Evans!"

"Bet you didn't mind falling into Jamesy Wamesy's arms, did you?"

"Ooo, watch out! Make that Lily Evans mad and she might _fall _on you!"

Lily's face darkened, but inwardly was weighing the option of cutting class. Anything was better than this, even detention. Stupid James. Always had to make a show.

"Rot," she snarled, glaring at the mockers, who merely hooted and jeered more. Emmy stepped forward, her wand out and her expression murderous. All shouted abuse hastily quieted. Emmy had a reputation as an unscrupulous dueler and had sent many a Slytherin to the hospital wing sobbing hysterically. The whole class knew she was to be taken seriously.

"Anyone else?" she asked with a smile. A cough from someone, but not a word. "Good. Let's find a table." She indicated Lily to follow her and they sat down at an empty table. Mary sat down in the front, being the studious person she was, Alice found one with Frank, and Remus went to join Sirius. Lily looked at Emmy, unable to say anything but hoping her gratitude showed. Emmy just shrugged.

"Traitor," Emmy mouthed to Remus, but he merely snorted and was almost immediately engaged in conversation with Sirius.

BANG!

The door burst open to reveal the very frightening, very intimidating Professor Fortescue. He stomped down the now silent aisles, glaring around at them all until he had made it to the front of the class.

"All right you lot," he roared, looking positively alarming, "change of plans! We're doing dueling today, Dumbledore's orders. And not the sissy dueling you've done in the past. No, this'll be real dueling, no restrictions, no rules, 'cept no Unforgivables. Got it?" The entire class stared at him in mixed incredulity and horror. He seemed to take this as a yes.

"This should be fun," Emmy mouthed to Lily, one eyebrow raised. Lily nodded, giving her a look that meant, _If by fun you mean terrifying, of course. Too fun, in my opinion._

"Volunteers?" Fortescue barked, standing with legs apart and hands clasped firmly behind his back. It was almost funny, really. Nobody volunteered in Fortescue's class, nobody. Fortescue himself seemed to know this, for he pointed a sinewy finger at Lily, then swung it to James.

"You!" he shouted, his voice like a whip. "Miss Evans and Mr. Potter! Up here now and give us a little action!"

XXX

James froze. _Ohhh, wrong choice of words, mate._

"Er, James?" Peter said, wincing. "I think you're wanted up there." James broke into a cold sweat as he stood up. He glanced back quickly then instantly wished he hadn't. Lily was sitting in her seat, dead white and horrified. James whipped his head back to the front, ruffling his hair and trying to look self-assured and unconcerned.

Making the Walk of Shame up to the front, he waited for Lily to move, determinedly looking anywhere else but directly at her.

_God, I hate Mondays_, he thought miserably.

XXX

"You've got to be kidding me," Lily moaned quietly as she got up. Students jeered and laughed in approval as she passed them. A flood of comments about "falling into Jamesy Wamesy's arms" and "what a cute couple" later, Lily and James stood five feet apart, wands out and ready. It was one of the most embarrassing situations Lily had ever been in. They wouldn't stop talking about this for _weeks_. _Weeks_, mind you.

"On my count!" Fortescue commanded, squinting his eyes at them both. "One, two, didn't say three, didn't say three, ooo, look at me, messing with the ickle seventh years, THREE!"

Then several things happened at once.

Lily and James' spells collided in midair, where they both rebounded back to their casters. Lily ducked her jet of light, unaware that James had blocked his own and sent it straight back at her. She looked up just in time to get a face full of a nasty repelling jinx. Lily flew backwards through the air and hit the wall with the force of what was as close to being hit by a bus without actually standing in the middle of the highway.

The class erupted in an uproar. In the time it took for Fortescue to quiet them, Lily was up and_ she was mad_.

"On your mark then Potter," she said quite clearly and loudly to James, who looked reasonably hesitant. "Go on." She finished her sentence in her mind.

_Go on, I dare you._

James muttered incoherently about ones, twos, and threes and it began again with renewed vigor. Renewed vigor with a vengeance.

Curses, hexes, jinxes, and spells exploded from the tip of Lily's wand with the force of small atomic bombs. It was all James could do to not get hit and Lily already had him on the retreat. She was going overhanded and underhanded and sideways and longways and any other ways you can think of. Six years of pent up rage and frustration were compressed into two minutes and forty-seven seconds, and what a two minutes and forty-seven seconds it was. Indeed, Lily's expression would invade and inspire the nightmares of many students for weeks to come.

The sound of James Potter's wand hitting the floor was deafening.

XXX

Had that just happened?

Had he, James Potter, just been beaten by a girl?

Well, judging from the fact that he was disarmed, the girl he both was very annoyed with and fancied was holding him at wandpoint, and the room seemed to have had the air sucked out of it, yes.

Despite his wounded pride, James couldn't help but notice how close they were. Her eyes were surprisingly clear close up; he knew this, but it always threw him off. And her nose had that peculiar little bump in it, unnoticeable unless you got really near her. Had she broken it? If so, had it been broken in a fight? Why was he thinking these things?

He was starting to feel a little lightheaded, and almost wished Evans would back off.

Almost.

XXX

"Lovely day for it," Lily breathed, her nose an inch from James' very, very, _very _alarmed face. He looked terrified, an expression she would conjure up should he ever annoy her again, which, most likely, he would.

Although...those little golden flecks - er - _focus, Evans_.

Lily pressed her wand into James' throat one last time before relinquishing him. Ha.

Lily walked back to her seat to a stunned silence, but as soon as she had sat down the class let loose with the loudest outburst of shouting, cheering, and yelling the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom had ever seen.

"Oustanding! Absolutely oustanding, Miss Evans!" Fortescue bellowed heartily before attempting to quiet the class.

Emmy beamed at her, Alice clapped so fast her hands were a blur, Frank punched the air, Mary jumped up and down, Peter Pettigrew's jaw dropped, Sirius looked impressed against his will, James still looked shell shocked, but best of all was Remus.

His eyebrows were high on his forehead and he looked torn between pride and exasperation. He grinned at her and whistled once, over the noise of the excited students and Professor Fortescue's threats. Lily grinned back, a bit savagely as James sank into his seat, red faced, but looking extremely relieved. She watched the back of his messy, black haired head for a moment, an exhilarated feeling of accomplishment spreading through her.

_Next time you ask me out, _she thought with vicious pleasure, _don't say I didn't warn you._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Chilly Encounters and an Incurable Thirst for Road Rage

The year seemed to be blowing away with the fall leaves and before anyone knew it, it was Christmas. The Christmas cheer that accompanied this season, however, never made it to Lily. Emmy had gone with her archeological parents to Greenland, Mary had gone off for a nice, normal holiday, Alice departed with Frank so he could meet her parents, and Remus' mother (for once) was actually sick, so he had left as well.

But Lily wasn't the only one feeling lonely. James was flying solo too, Sirius having gone on a random trip to Spain and Peter having been accepted into a very elite group. He was extremely secretive about it, and everyone was a bit surprised that he had been accepted into an elite _anything_. The common room was very quiet now. It seemed that everyone had gone to visit their families.

Lily chose not to go home for the holidays for a reason. Christmas was bound to be an awkward and frosty occasion with Tuney still upset, and so Lily had merely sent her presents via her owl, Scruffy. It was a perfectly reasonable, perfectly sensible plan.

Lily just wished it didn't hurt so much.

There had been a flood of Christmas presents for her, but she doubted she'd have the heart to touch any of them. Family would have been nice during the holidays. It would have been really nice. But she was doing what was best for everyone.

And so it was with this rather bleak attitude that she trudged down to the common room. She heard someone sit down in the armchair opposite of hers, but she was staring into the fire and thinking, and when Lily was thinking, there was no safe way to snap her out of it.

"Bit lonely too, then Evans?"

James Potter, being James Potter, had disregarded her need for peace once again. Too tired to get into any serious arguments, she chose instead to remain silent.

"Evans," James said reproachfully, but Lily just continued staring into the flames. "Evans, please, it's Christmas, there's really no need to be angry."

"I'm not angry," Lily said sharply, watching the logs crackle and spit sparks determinedly. "I just want to be alone."

"Nobody wants to be alone on Christmas," James said pointedly, and Lily felt something inside of her snap.

"Why are you talking to me?" she asked angrily, the Petunia sore spot aching. James looked at her in a confused way.

"Despite the fact that you seem to find me mildly irritating" - here Lily gave an audible snort - "I think we could have a real conversation," he said slowly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, don't you have some Quidditch practice or something?" Lily demanded, crossing her arms. She just wanted to be left alone. Stupid boy.

"No, Quidditch season is over until spring," James said conversationally, passing an absent minded hand through his hair. She hated it when he did that. Stupid, vain boy. "C'mon, let's try to be friends for a day."

"Friends," Lily repeated scathingly. James turned to her, looking annoyed.

"Yes, _friends_. I think that if we really tried we could stop eating each other's heads off," he said in mild indignation. "I'm having a bit of a rough week and I don't need added stress. And by added stress I mean you being grumpy."

"Grumpy?" Lily snapped. "Grumpy will be the understatement of the year if you don't leave me alone!" James looked taken aback at her harsh tone.

"What's wrong?" he asked, almost kindly, and somehow it made Lily feel much, much worse.

"Nothing is wrong," Lily growled, swallowing. She averted her eyes from James' hazel ones, but she could feel him watching her.

"Yeah something is," he said knowingly, looking skeptical. Lily didn't know why she felt so angry. It was a feeling akin to being pressed against the wall with no way out.

"Nothing is wrong, all right?" she said hotly, her frustration starting to bubble dangerously. "Nothing."

"Listen, when you're alone on Christmas, there is definitely something wrong," James said pointedly. Lily snapped.

"Yes, okay?" she cried angrily, standing up and gathering up her things, determined to find someplace, anyplace, where James Potter could not follow. "Yes. I get to stay here because my sister hates me, as she was kind enough to remind me when I called her. Now will you _please _just leave me alone? God, what is _wrong _with you?"

Her nose began to tingle, as it always did before she cried, and, furious at herself for caring, she made a beeline for the portrait hole.

"What's wrong with _you_?" he demanded, temper suddenly flaring. "Do you ever stop to think that maybe you're not the only person in the whole bloody world who has problems?" Lily came to a dead halt, then whipped around.

"Oh, _oh_," Lily said scathingly, cynicism driving back the burning in her throat. "The Great James Potter has problems, too! What, Sev isn't here for you to kick around? You lost your broom?" James stared at her as if he were seeing her for the first time.

"No, "James said quietly in a very calm, dangerous voice. "My family was attacked last week by Death Eaters and my mum was tortured. She's at St. Mungo's, maybe dying," he continued, voice rising slightly, "only I can't see her because my dad doesn't want me missing out on the _holidays_. As if I'm going to be doing anything but waiting for Sirius to get back so I can tell him that for the second time in his life, he might lose a mother."

"I didn't - " Lily started, eyes wide, but James cut her off brutally:

"Your sister has a point."

Lily stared at him, as, without another word, he went up to the boys' dorm.

XXX

Oh, bloody hell, he'd screwed up again.

Something about Lily Evans just set him off and turned him on at the same time. He could be furious with her and still be completely and totally smitten. She both bothered and bewildered him. So even though he was less than happy about her lack of tact, he was even more upset by his own lack of tact.

Everyone knew about Evans' insane sister. The Slytherins wouldn't let her forget it. The rest of Gryffindor whispered about it. Loony Tuney, Evans' magic-hating sister. Lily's first detention had been from punching Lucius Malfoy for making fun of her muggleborn 'status' and irritating sister. It was clearly a testy, painful subject, particularly on Christmas. Of course she wanted to be alone.

But at the same time, his mother was a more pressing worry. His father kept him up to date, each letter cheerful and optimistic and always ending with, 'No need to come. Don't fret. We'll be home soon.' James felt furious and helpless and desperate, all at once, which was very frustrating. He wanted to be there, wanted to assist somehow, to do something, but he couldn't.

James sighed noisily and turned over on his four poster bed. The sounds of Lily crying had echoed a bit more than she was aware of, so after a good hour and a half of listening to her try to calm down, he had chickened out and cast _Muffliato_.

What made the whole ordeal so much worse was that there was nothing to distract him. Quidditch season was over, as he'd told Lily. With a wince and a groan he buried his face in his pillows. Lily. Restlessly flipping back over on his back, he stared up into space. Sirius, Remus, Peter - they were all gone. Pranks were out of the question. Hell, even the lure of messing with Snivvy Sevvy had lost its, well, lure.

Evans had taken to wandering, which forced James to stay in Gryffindor Tower as the last thing he wanted to do was bump into her accidentally. Several times, he had contemplated what might happen if he did decide to bump into her. What would her reaction be? Disgust? Please, no. The Potter name and disgust did not mix. Pity? Ugh, worse. Disgust you could at least confront without looking like more of a monster than he'd already made himself out to be

If he could just buck up and apologize...

XXX

It had been two days and Lily still hadn't picked up the courage to apologize to Potter. She wanted to tell him she was sorry, but at the same time, she was terrified of the mere prospect of being in the same room as him.

There was nothing to do, as the Head meeting had been canceled due to the holidays. And so Lily wandered around, looking for a distraction. It was very cold outside, which wasn't exactly the distraction she was looking for, but however cold it was out by the lake, she knew that it would be even colder in the Common Room.

If she had just kept her mouth shut! If she could have controlled her temper for one day! But she hadn't, and now she was paying the price. Somehow Lily felt better getting cold and numb. She deserved it didn't she, after hurting someone who was already hurting enough? Yes. Yes she did. She deserved it and she would take it.

Lily laid back on the snow, feeling freezing water dampen her hair. The sky above her was grey and hard to look at, while little white flakes of snow drifted down to nest in her hair and robes.

Eventually she sat up, slightly dazed. A dark shadow moved beneath the solid ice layer of the frozen giant squid. Lily knew, without a doubt, that she wasn't the only one feeling trapped. She and the squid weren't so different then, were they? She recalled, from a scene not too long ago, something she had said.

_"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!"_

She winced.

She should walk in there, march right up to Potter, and apologize. Yes. Yes. She could do this. With a deep breath she stood up, feeling nervous but determined to do something.

"Lily!"

There was Alice, running towards her. Lily squinted at the figure, not sure if she had finally lost her mind or if it was really real.

It _was _real.

And what's more, Frank and Emmeline and Mary weren't far behind.

"I thought you guys were on holiday!" Lily cried, confused but happy nonetheless. In response she was engulfed in several breath-depriving hugs and laughter.

"Yes we were on holiday, but obviously we're back!" Emmy giggled, her nose bright pink from the cold. "Ready for Christmas to officially start?"

"Lily," Alice said worriedly, glancing at her, "you haven't been out here long, have you? It's terribly cold and nearly dark as well." Frank nodded in agreement, shivering.

"Yeah, it's cold," he said through chattering teeth, "so let's go back inside where it's _warm_." Mary just beamed.

They began to make their way up to the castle, where, as Frank had pointed out, it was _warm_. But Lily knew, with a pang, that it was bound to be fairly frosty until she sorted this mess out. This was turning out to be a very strange year. She had found a remarkable map, James had saved her twice, something about an Order (she made a mental note to continue to badger Remus about that), and now she was going to apologize to James. Well.

"Lily?" Emmy asked, jolting her out of her musings. "Are you all right? You seem a bit down." Lily nearly snorted at that. Down was the understatement of the century.

"I'm fine," she assured her, lying through her teeth. "How was Greenland?" Emmy had never been as good as Alice was with feelings, and so Lily's little white lie was lost on her.

"Oh it was exactly what you might expect. Blooming cold. All that really happened was we all froze our rear ends off and mum got a cold." She nodded cheerily and was practically skipping up the stairs. The mood was infectious to everyone but Lily, and soon Alice and Frank were chatting merrily to each other.

"I think Papa liked you," Alice told Frank shyly. Frank beamed. "Yes," she continued, playing with her green scarf, "Mama liked you too." She and Frank grinned bashfully each other, both a pleasantly embarrassed pink. Mary caught Lily's eye and pantomimed gagging.

"D - d'you really think so?" Frank asked, biting his lip. Alice's hand snaked it's way into his hand and squeezed it.

"Yup," Emmy interrupted. "They liked you. How would I know? Because it's all you two talked about for the last hour and half." Frank and Alice looked at each other and shrugged.

"I'll see you all at dinner then," Frank called over his shoulder as they reached the Great Hall. Alice seemed to teeter for a moment before practically flinging herself at him for a goodbye kiss. Lily rolled her eyes as Mary once again pantomimed gagging.

"I love him," Alice said quietly as she rejoined them. Frank was now bounding down the stairs looking considerably happier. She hummed quietly to herself, not paying attention to where she was going. The staircase swung out, and -

"Oh no you don't!" Lily said firmly to the staircase as it sulkily returned to its proper place. She had Alice's arm in a tight grip. "Watch where you're going," she advised her wisely.

"Oh, but I'm sure Alice wouldn't mind if Frank were there to catch her," Emmy pointed out, looking smug. "Remember how I convinced Alice to give him a try all those years ago when we were but naive fourth-years? Now if only the two of you would follow Alice's example, and let me fix your sad, neglected love lives."

"Fix?" Mary asked dryly. "I am quite happy being single without your interference, thank you." Emmy pulled a face.

"I suppose I always knew you were a lost cause," she sighed, then brightened. "But Lily's not!"

"Don't start," Lily pleaded, but Emmy had already launched into an elaborate plan for Lily's marriage to James.

"I have dibs on maid-of-honor," Emmy said with a careless wave of her hand, "and naturally, Sirius will be James' best man."

"Why do _you _get to be maid-of-honor?" Alice asked, eyebrows raised.

"Because I've been predicting they'll get together for years now," Emmy explained with the air of one speaking to a small child. "You can be godmother to their firstborn."

"What do I get to be?" Mary asked, looking put-out. Emmy considered this for a moment, then smirked.

"Marriage counselor," she giggled and everyone but Lily laughed. Lily had been silent through this entire exchange, mentally steeling herself.

They entered through the portrait hole after a while, the Fat Lady swinging shut behind them. Alice and Emmy were still giggling girlishly, but their laughter stopped abruptly at the look on Lily's face.

She was watching James. He was sitting on the couch in front of the fire, hunched over and looking incredibly defeated. Lily felt a horrible wave of guilt wash over her, and hardly noticed when Alice gave Mary a significant look and she tiptoed up to the girls' dormitory to ponder on her friend's behavior. Emmy watched Lily for a moment, troubled, before leaving out the portrait hole.

"James?" Lily asked softly. She hadn't meant to speak, but there was no reclaiming the words, not when they were hovering in the air already.

He turned his head ever so slightly and Lily, with a deep breath, sat down next to him. Not too close, mind you, just barely close enough to where, if she wanted to (which of course she didn't, because it was ludicrous and against everything she had ever known), she could have held his hand. She took another deep breath, prepared to bare her soul, to divulge her guiltiness to -

"I'm sorry," he blurted abruptly. Lily's jaw dropped, completely caught off guard. James looked at her, then quickly back down. "About your sister. And about what I said, which was pretty prat-like, even for me." He looked her in the eyes then, hesitant, as though unsure of what she would do.

"But it was _my _fault!" Lily said suddenly, confused. "Your mother's the one who's hurt, and _I'm _the one who yelled. You were on the edge, it wasn't your fault!" She couldn't comprehend anything. The world had turned into a rather large place during her melancholy, one that was out to get her as well. Now it was suddenly shrinking on her, emotions becoming more acute, the room much smaller, the distance between she and James far, far closer.

"I'm sorry," James repeated insistently. "I know I've been a right nasty git, but I really am sorry." He looked so earnest, the little golden flecks in his eyes glowing in the firelight.

"I'm sorry, too," she said, meeting his eyes. There was a brief moment in which Lily's stomach leaped and she found that she was frozen.

"Oy, James, getting cozy by the fire are we?"

Moment over.

James groaned, leaning back in exasperation.

"Sirius," he complained, glaring at the boy climbing through the portrait hole, "we're having an important conversation. Do you mind?"

"An_ important conversation_?" Sirius asked, mock mortified. "My apologies, James old chap, no idea that feeling up ol' Evans was so terribly important!" He strode confidently up to the back of the couch, leaning forward so his face was in between the two. "'Ello poppet," he said in a decidedly cavalier way, winking cheekily at Lily. James winced, covering his face with his hands. "And have you been a good boy this year?" Sirius continued in a deep voice, peeling James' hands off to reveal his disgruntled friend.

"I'll go," Lily mouthed and James nodded tiredly, Sirius skipping around to plop down next to him. Emmy burst through the portrait hole suddenly, running past the two boys and pushing past Lily in the stairwell. Lily called after her, concerned, but the only answer she got was a sob.

What was wrong now?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Siriusly Disturbed and Odd AdVances

Lily and James, having reached a truce for the moment, did not speak of anything that had happened over the holidays. Mary and Alice were insistent, however, so Lily told them (conveniently leaving out the odd leaning phenomenon and Sirius' interruption). Alice scrutinized her after she had finished, but said nothing.

Remus had returned, his mother having made a full recovery and all furry little problems taken care of. Unfortunately, due to whatever was going with his group of friends (aka, James, Sirius, and Peter), the only times Lily saw him were prefect meetings. Of course, whatever was going on with _his _group of friends was important, but Lily had her own problems to deal with.

Emmy, for some reason, had gone into some wild mood swing phase. At times she would be so unbearably jolly that it was frightening, while at other times (mostly at night), she would wander around aimlessly, moody and sulky. Lily was at a loss as to what to do about the situation, whatever the situation was, for Emmy refused to talk about it at all, either changing the subject with a painfully happy smile or assuming a blank expression and leaving abruptly. Overly cheery or horribly depressed - Emmy was not herself either way.

To add to the worry, the holidays were quickly coming to an end, much too quickly for any of the students' liking. Professor Slughorn seemed to have given up on inviting her to the Slug Club parties, but, as with all parties several trouble makers had to be apprehended for gate crashing and the like. And every time, Professor Slughorn tried to press some chrystallized pineapples on her. Lily hated chrystallized pineapples.

But chrystallized pineapples were the least of Lily's problems.

XXX

It felt like things were falling apart at the seams.

Sirius was not taking the news of Mrs. Potter's injuries well. Understandable, as she was really the only real mother he'd had. James had met Mrs. Black once. She had been overjoyed that her son had finally made a pureblood friend, even if he _was _a Gryffindor. Sirius had never invited James back, and didn't discuss the other topics Mrs. Black had brought up, i.e. mudbloods are evil and didn't James think that they should be banned from Hogwarts, along with half-breeds and werewolves?

Peter, meanwhile, was lingering more and more in the dungeons, though perhaps not by his own will. James suspected the Slytherins were messing with him more than usual, but as he had no proof, he could do absolutely nothing beyond the occasional jinx.

Of course, every time he made an effort to find out, Sirius would act up, although that couldn't be called coincidence, as Sirius would act up at the slightest provocation, this being his uniquely irritating way of dealing with Mrs. Potter's attack. Jokes about Kreacher had been funny before. Now they were excrutiating.

James had never wanted to delve into any sort of issue that involved emotions, unless those emotions were I'm-so-happy-to-be-alive, or gee-James-you're-the-greatest. What Sirius was exhibiting wasn't either of the two emotions James was going to deal with, and frankly, James didn't want to think about it at all anyway.

Besides, he found his thoughts straying back to another person who was acting odd...

A certain Emmeline Vance...?

XXX

Lily began paying attention.

Really paying attention.

With Emmy gone off the deep end and nobody really wanting to know just how deep that end was, Lily was left to her own devices. And, as always, she became increasingly creative in her method.

The map was an enormous boon, one that she had not foreseen before. Spying on people seemed too much like Petunia, but this was desperate: unconventional methods had to be taken.

And so Lily begame something of a watchman.

Alice and Frank were often missing, to where everyone pretended not to know. Mary and Remus were together a lot, which didn't surprise her, but interested her. Playing matchmaker was out of the question with the current Emmy situation, but nevertheless, Remus and Mary had, simply _had_, to become an item.

Sirius had become overly bouyant and jovial, filling the common room with raucous laughter and practical jokes. Emmy snuck out frequently to avoid the noise, and Lily followed her, sometimes letting on that she was there, sometimes not. These little spying sessions (Lily preferred to call them 'conveinently being wherever Emmy was without Emmy's knowledge' or CBWEWWEKs for, er, short) only added to Lily's confusion, as Emmy would wander around and mutter to herself.

"I'm worried," Lily confessed to Alice over dinner, Mary nodding in agreement. Emmy, with the excuse of not being hungry, had stayed in the empty common room, and no amount ofenticing would move her. "What if something's wrong? Like, she's just found out she has terminal cancer? Or-or she's gone suicidal?" Alice snorted, looking particularly shrewd as she dug into her treacle tart.

"It's neither of those," she said after she had finished chewing over both her food and thoughts. "I think the answer's much, much, _much _more simple."

"What?" Lily asked, slightly desperate. What with the frustrating issue of the Marauder's Map, the lack of annoyances James usually dished up, and James himself, another problem was out of the question. If Alice had the solution, simple or not, Lily needed to hear it.

"Love," Alice said simply, a little smile playing around her lips. Lily was about to demand what love had to do with anything when Remus sat down next to Mary, looking careworn.

"Sane people," he moaned happily, slightly muffled due to the fact that he was covering his head with his hands. "Oh_, sane people_." He looked blearily around at them and sighed.

"What's wrong now?" Lily cried, gripping her hair under the weight of a thousand issues. "Who is it _now_?" Remus frowned at her, obviously confused.

"What do you mean 'What's wrong now?'" he asked, cocking his head to one side. Mary gave him A Look, but Remus merely widened his eyes, confused. The resemblance to a curious dog was striking, but Lily was in no mood. She did her best not to break down completely as Alice explained the Emmy Conundrum.

"I just don't know what to do," Lily burst out, her voice cracking. "It was this way with Tuney too. She locked every-ryone ou-out and n-now l-l-look! I c-can-an't even go h-home for _C-Chris-istm-mas_!" She buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs. School pressure she could take, family pressure as well, to a point - but friends were another matter.

"Lily," Alice said with a creased brow, looking shocked. Mary winced. Remus, the poor fellow, had an expression that conveyed both confusion and alarm.

"I'm sorry!" Lily wailed, banging her head on the table repeatedly. "It's just that this is my last year" - bang - "and I was really hoping" - bang - "there wouldn't be some sort of horrid _drama_!" - bang, bang, bang - "Now what on earth is wrong now?" Remus blinked rapidly before answering.

"Well...er...Sirius has become unpredictably depressed at times, and...erm...and then, he...er...he...is freakishly happy. As in, insanely happy," Remus finished, a rather bemused expression on his face.

"How many people with bipolar issues can we have at the same time?" Lily demanded loudly, stopping in her head banging for the slightest pause before resuming at a far quicker pace.

Bang, bang, bang, bang. Perhaps if she knocked herself senseless, she could develop some sort of isolated amnesia and forget about the whole thing. Bang, bang, bang, bang.

"Er, Evans?" Oh drat. That was James' voice. Lily banged her head harder, over and over and over again. "You know what? Nevermind. Anyway, Remus, please come back. Sirius is doing his Kreacher impression again and I don't think I can take it anymore."

"But I want to stay with the _sane _people," Remus replied in a pleading voice. Lily snorted, continuing her head banging. First off, she doubted she was sane anymore. Second, she was almost _sure _he was doing the puppy dog look.

"Remus," James said in a flat voice, "not only is he doing the Kreacher impression, but he has also resumed the 'so Voldemort" - a shriek from Alice, whimper from Mary, and collective gasps from bystanders - "walks into a bar and says ouch' jokes. _I. Need. You_."

"Just stay over here then," Remus suggested, ignoring the various people reacting to You-Know-Who's name. Lily's head banging became more vehement. Surely the table couldn't hold this much pounding? There was a pause in which Lily felt James' eyes on her.

"I think that if I did stay," James said slowly with amusement, "Evans might just sustain serious brain damage."

"Too late," Mary muttered, fingernails tapping the table, a staccato to Lily's steady beat. Lily's head snapped up.

"I'm going to go talk some sense into Vance," she announced, standing up. James looked at her questioningly. Lily stared at him for a minute. The candle light was filtering through his ever messy hair, the flickering flames causing his hazel eyes to turn a clear amber. And there were those little golden flecks. She swallowed.

"Evans?" James asked, giving her a look normally reserved for mentally incompetent invalids. Lily blinked, disoriented. She had hit her head on that blasted table too many times. Yes. It was most definitely the table.

"Going to...Emmy...talk some sense...whoa." She squinted her eyes, looking around. "I'm gonna go," she said to herself. "Yeah. I'm gonna go." She nodded firmly before stumbling towards, and up the Grand Staircase.

XXX

James sat down, his head turning to keep Lily in his line of eyesight. When he'd settled and Lily had disappeared from view, he returned his attention to his dinner-mates.

They were all staring.

Alice looked knowing (no surprise there), while Frank was smirking (and what gave him a right to smirk?), Remus was smirking as well (once again, no surprise there), Mary was smirking (that was odd. Mary wasn't much of a smirker), and Sirius...

Wait. Sirius? When had he come over?

"I came over while you were making googly eyes at my Lady Disdain," Sirius said with a smug curl of the mouth. James' face lapsed into the customary annoyed yet superior expression that was his default. When did he learn to read minds? Black was an enigma.

"Lady Disdain?" James said in a bored voice, as he already knew who 'Lady Disdain' was. She was also she-devil, that rotten harpy, and more commonly known as -

" - Evans, James. Honestly." Sirius grinned, and for the briefest of moments, James thought he had gone back to normal. "So any-hoo, how 'bout the one about the Death Eater's goldfish? It's a good one, 'specially with those Regurgitating Toilets that ol' Archie used to sell in our third year. Idiot tried to flush the enlarged fish with one of 'em, didn't count on it coming back up!"

Everyone groaned.

XXX

By the time she had made it to the girls' dormitory, Lily's head had stopped aching and she had made a mental note not to kill anymore brain cells, no matter how frustrating life in general was.

"Emmy?" she called, looking around the darkened room. A small shape moved in the shadows. "Emmy?" Lily repeated in a softer voice.

"I'm here." Emmy sounded almost as if she had been crying. Absurd, as Emmy (as a rule) never cried.

"Are you all right?" Lily asked quietly. She heard the rustle of clothing moving, the swish of robes against the floor. Emmy lit a lamp and the room was filled with both a warmer light and a warmer feeling. Lily sat down on her bed and motioned for Emmy to join her, which she did. "What's wrong?" Lily asked. Emmy looked at her through red eyes.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," she sniffed, scrubbing at her eyes. Lily snorted disbelievingly, crossing her legs.

"I doubt 'nothing' could make you lock yourself up here dampening your pillow daily." She grinned, inviting Emmy to do so, but the latter was occupied with blowing her nose. "Come on, Emmy, holidays end tomorrow. You're going to have to leave the dorm eventually," Lily reminded her. Emmy's lip trembled dangerously, but suddenly a violent mood swing took its hold.

"You're right," she said in a falsely bright voice. She was smiling a painful little smile, which did not fool Lily in the slightest. "People might think I'm a vampire!" She laughed, a tinge of hysteria creeping into her tone. "I think I'll go down to the Common Room...maybe the library, get a head start on studying." She left in a hurry, eyes watering suspiciously.

Lily followed her down, tired. Perhaps this was what Remus was feeling, what with Sirius and his Kreacher impressions. She stopped, letting Emmy escape. Who was Kreacher? She shook her head slightly, trying to clear it of all distractions. It was time to dig out the map again.

Quietly she opened the map. All the little dots were still moving around as usual. Lily had tried to find a way to cause the map to be wiped blank, but nothing seemed to work. But instead of studying it as she probably should have been, she found herself checking on certain people...

There was Emmy on the map, but then, Lily could guess where she was. She was completely bypassing both the Common Room and the library, heading instead to the kitchens. Following Emmy's dot, she found another familiar name, Remus. He was on the third floor corridor, no doubt talking to the other two dots next to him, James and Sirius. Hmm. That was strange. Peter wasn't there. Lily searched the ink passageways until she found him and received a slight shock.

The little nuisance (Lily couldn't help it) seemed to be backed into a corner by some Slytherins, notably the Black sisters, Narcissa and Bellatrix, Sirius' brother, Regulus, and a friend of the graduated Lucius Malfoy, Evan Rosier. But it wasn't the fact that Peter was surrounded by the rather nasty group. It was the dot that was in the back, but nevertheless involved.

Severus Snape.

Lily jerked her eyes away from the suspicious dot, glossing over the map instead to find Alice and Frank, their dots quite close together and in an empty classroom to boot. Smiling to herself, Lily curled up into a more comfortable position, closing the map for a second. Slowly the smile left her face, a more pensive expression replacing it.

Upon finding the map, she really hadn't bargained on getting so caught up in it. This was her last year. Did she really want to spend it muddling around in search of these "Marauders?"

She thought about it for a long time, frowning, but the only answer she could come up with was simply, yes, that she did want to figure this out.

But before she could make any gangway with the map, she had several things to do first, namely fix Emmy and get Remus to explain the Order before N.E.W.T.s studying made everything far too complicated for rational thought. Emmy first, Order later, then map.

_Okay, go._

XXX

"A-and so then, Bellatrix says, she says - are you listening? - 'What do you mean that was Auntie Black? I th-thought it was the troll!' Isn't that hilarious Remus?" Sirius managed to gasp between uproarious bouts of laughter. Remus, his nose in a book, grunted. James merely stayed firmly buried in _Quidditch Through the Ages_, and would be disengaged by no one. Everyone else had gone up to bed - everyone else, that is, but the Marauders. And James had just found out something very unpleasant, something he was extremely reluctant to say. They hadn't used it in so long, not even for the full moons. Why hadn't he noticed it before?

"I'm hungry," Peter announced, setting down his quill and massaging his stomach. "Anyone else up for a kitchen nip?" Sirius, wiping away tears of amusement, shrugged.

"All right," he said amiably. "I am somewhat peckish, if you must know." Remus set down his book, clearly torn between his love for chocolate and his love for order.

Chocolate won out.

Damn.

"Get out the map," Peter said happily and James rolled his eyes, perhaps a little too bouyant. Was he overdoing it?

"Aw, let's not," he said carelessly, waving his hand in an offhand manner. "I'm not hungry and it's much more comfortable here, in front of the fire."

"Oh, but I'm feeling just a teensy bit reckless tonight. C'mon Prongsie," Sirius wheedled, widening his eyes and pouting imploringly. James winced inwardly.

"It would probably be more comfortable up here with a couple of chocolate frogs and some pumpkin juice," Remus pointed out, setting his book down and leaning forward. James adjusted his face as close to that of the in-the-line-of-duty expression that all the snotty prefects wore as he could.

"Now, I'm Head Boy," he started and Sirius groaned, rolling out of his chair to curl up on the floor into a fetal position.

"The system," he moaned, "it's taken over his mind. Now I'm convinced: you need a good dose of rule breaking to get you back to the normal, arrogant, big-headed git we've all come to know and love." Remus sighed.

"Normally I would be the one convincing you all to stay," he said, suspicion starting to flicker in his eyes. "What's up James?" James snapped _Quidditch Through the Ages_ shut with an authoritive sound.

"Maybe," he said in a dignified voice, "just maybe, I've decided to take up some responsibility." There was a long and stunned pause.

Then his three friends burst into laughter.

"Yeah, yeah, good try, just give us the map and let's go get some food."

"Stuff it, James!"

"We aren't that stupid. Nice try, though."

James flinched, bracing himself.

"Guys," he said over his friends' amusement. "Guys!" They turned to stare, confused, and suddenly James regretted getting them to pay attention. "I-I...lost the map." His friends' eyes widened. There was a trembling, delicate, fragile moment of quiet in which everyone sucked in a breath and held it there.

The noise that erupted from Gryffindor Tower caused several birds to take flight.

"WHAT?"

XXX

The plan was very simple: find whoever was hurting Emmy, beat them into a jelly-like substance similar to what must reside in their heads instead of brains, and restore Emmeline Vance to her naturally bouncy state of happiness. The problem was, there were a lot of people who didn't like Emmy. The entire House of Slytherin for one. Several terrorized first years. The back end of Ms. Norris.

Although it definitely seemed doubtful that Ms. Norris' wrath and murderous first years bent on revenge could be the cause of Emmy's deep and worrying depression, Slytherins were not out of the question. Bellatrix was spiteful enough. Narcissa was vain enough. And, as much as it still pained Lily to admit it, Severus Snape was corrupted enough. She'd known that since fifth year.

One thing was certain. Whoever they were, they would pay.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: A Great Deal of Assuming

"Miss Evans! For the seventh time, will you _kindly _join us?"

Lily blinked, starting. Professor McGonagall was glaring at her while the rest of the class had turned to gawk unabashedly.

"Sorry Professor," Lily said honestly, wincing. The strict teacher nodded sharply and continued the lesson on Animagi, but Lily was zoning out again, her thoughts occupied on the Marauder's Map, the mysterious Order, and Emmy.

Smack.

Lily felt a little ball of crumpled paper hit the back of her head. She turned around in her seat to glower at whoever had thrown it, but there was only James and Sirius. Lily scowled. The usual suspects. She unfolded the offending ball of paper with a practiced air.

_Not another soppy poem, _she begged silently, laying it flat on her desk and smoothing it. But it wasn't from James. It was from Sirius. She leaned forward to read it when a wand snapped her hand.

"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said coldly as Lily rubbed her hand reproachfully. "If you wouldn't mind handing me the note?" Without waiting for an answer she snatched it up, and, with a wave of the very painful wand, caused it to catch flame and disintegrate into ashes. "And I hope it won't be too inconvenient for you and your wandering mind to stay behind after class?"

"Yes Professor," Lily said in a mortified whisper. "Sorry Professor." She bowed her head and heard the swish of starched robes as her teacher walked away.

The rest of the class, Lily made a stupendous effort to stay focused, but she was fighting a losing battle. Luckily, the lesson proved to be very short and soon the students were filing out, chattering animatedly. All the students, that is, except for Lily.

"Miss Evans?" Professor McGonagall said crisply as Lily approached her desk tentatively. "I must know. Is everything all right?" Lily was taken aback, and her teacher seemed to sense this, for she plowed on. "It has come to my attention that your situation at home..." She waved her hand vaguely, her hawk-like eyes never stopping their examination.

"Everything's fine, Professor," Lily said at last, staring at her shoes. Professor McGonagall nodded briskly.

"Then I shall expect your undivided attention during my class, Miss Evans," she replied, not unkindly. "And you must not neglect your prefect duties nor the Head meeting this month." Her expression softened slightly. "You are undoubtedly one of the most talented Transfiguration students I have ever taught. Please do not waste that potential."

"I won't, Professor," Lily sighed, still staring at her shoes. Professor McGonagall surveyed her for a moment more.

"You are dismissed, then, Miss Evans," she said in a final tone and Lily ducked out of class to find some empty classroom to think and continue the map contemplation.

It wasn't as though she was asking for all this, Lily thought angrily as she dodged down an empty corridor to avoid the crowd of students she could hear coming. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she walked down another corridor, turned into a side door, and found herself outside.

XXX

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter exited the classroom and had gotten halfway down the hallway when James rounded on Sirius.

"What're you doing passing notes to Evans?" he demanded furiously. "Getting her in trouble?" Sirius stopped, face darkening. The jolly mask he had been wearing for the past weeks dropped.

"Listen, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a bit on the edge right now," he hissed. James bristled and Remus had to step in between them.

"Well why don't you try telling us what the matter is instead of being so-so difficult!"

"Maybe it's more difficult than you, Mr. High-and-Mighty-I-Have-No-Problems, can handle!"

James stiffened and for a moment, he was no longer at Hogwarts, but instead in a small room at St. Mungo's, watching his mother chest laboriously rise and fall. It was the image that he had conjured every night before he slept and every morning when he woke up. When he spoke, his voice was low and coiled tight as a spring, each word heavily and carefully weighed.

"You know that's not true." Sirius sighed, suddenly weary. He leaned against the wall and breathed in a long breath.

"Yeah," he replied, calmer and quieter. Remus relaxed, as did Peter, who had watched the exchange with wide and wary eyes. "Yeah. You think I'm not upset too? They're like my parents, too, James," he reminded James, and James felt a small twinge of guilt.

"I know," James said at last. Remus cleared his throat, flicking his eyes repeatedly towards something behind James' shoulders.

"I-ay ink-thay ee-way ood-shay ee-bay - " he muttered quickly.

"Spit it out, Moony," Peter interrupted, frowning. Sirius, too, was frowning, and he craned his neck to see over James' shoulder. His eyes locked in on something apparently horrifying, for his face immediately drained of all color and his pupils dialated.

"Um, who - ?" both James and Peter began, but a sharp voice cut them off.

"I have a bone to pick with you," said Emmeline Vance, practically shaking with fury.

XXX

It was deceivingly sunny outside, all the snow having melted and the slightest hint of spring in the air. It was hard to believe that it had been Christmas a mere three months ago. Conversation drifted in the air in happy tones, couples, friends, and general talk. Lily sighed, pulling out the map again. A nice rest under her favorite tree, a little investigation, and she'd forget the incident in Transfiguration in no time.

Hmm. Mary's dot was bobbing and weaving, obviously searching the corridors. Lily stifled a grin. Remus was most likely her object of attention. And there, there was Casanova himself, Remus, rounding a corner with Peter not far behind, leaving Black and Potter in a deserted hallway. Abruptly, Black and Potter began walking away, into the student traffic, and Lily found that trying to focus on them hurt her eyes.

She set the map down, leaned her head against the bark of the tree and simply existed for a few minutes in silence. Emotional friends be damned, it was her last year and she was determined to enjoy it, really enjoy it, no matter what. She listened to the laughter carried in the air and thought, for the briefest moment, that it all was going to resolve itself.

And then Mary came running.

"Lily! Lily, come quick!"

Lily's eyes snapped open.

"What?" she cried, grabbing the map instinctively. Mary slowed as she came to her, gasping for breath and wild eyed.

"LilyweneedyouEmmy'sgoneanddoneitshe'sallkindsoffreakingout - "

"Spit it out! Mary!"

"It's awful - dunno what to do - can't find Alice - bloody disaster - "

"Mary, you have to tell me! Slow down and calm down!"

"Something went down between Emmy and James and Sirius and all I know is, Emmy's like, FREAKING OUT, and she's run off somewhere, I think she might've been crying again - "

"But why?"

"Something to do with Potter!"

Lily struggled to her feet, extremely irritated. Fabulous. Just fabulous. Because her group of friends definitely needed more drama. Yes, more drama, exactly, drat it drat it drat it.

Why was it that whenever drama occurred, it had something to do with Potter and Co? Why? _Why_?

Maybe...oh no. Oh no no no no no. Emmy and James?

A rage, a boiling, steadily increasing rage was building up inside her like a bubbling cauldron. Potter needed to be taught a lesson. Apparently, he thought he could mess with her friends. He would be proven, very soon, to be wrong.

"I'm going to sort Potter out. You find Alice - she's better with histrionics anyway," she told Mary, while Mary muttered incoherently about bad ideas and going to get in troubles, hurriedly shuffling off as she did. Lily supposed she looked a bit upset. She certainly felt upset. Maybe even a bit...dangerous.

She checked the map to make sure she was going in the right direction, then set off after the four little dots, who were heading towards the lake, which was, thankfully, for the most part devoid of people. She walked with steady, long strides, while the voice of reason inside her head piped frantically that this was not going to end well. Lily informed her voice of reason just what it could do with its predictions.

As she neared the lake's shore, she could see the four figures congregated, their voices carrying.

"Sirius mate, d'you think that might've been a mistake?" came James' voice. Lily walked a little faster, missing Sirius' reply. _Oh, yes, my friend, it was most certainly a mistake._

"James Potter!" she yelled, and James looked around.

"Evans?" James asked, looking alarmed and confused as she stormed up to him. Lily pulled back her arm and punched him, square in the nose. There was a sickening crunch and James fell back into Sirius, Remus, and Peter, all of them caught by surprise.

"That's for Emmy," Lily informed him as he staggered up, one hand pressed tightly to what Lily dearly hoped was a broken nose.

"Lily, what - ?" Remus stuttered, utterly shocked. Lily rounded on him and he half stepped back.

"Oh don't you play the innocent with me, Lupin. I know you're friends with him, but did it never occur to you to tell him to back off when he messed with Emmy?" she snapped and Remus winced.

"Evans," Sirius said quietly, comprehension dawning on him, "Evans you've got it all wrong. Listen - "

"You," she commanded, and Black instinctively took a step back. "Stay out of this. I'll deal with you later."

"No, really," Sirius insisted, apparently desperate, "no - " But Lily ignored him, once again facing Potter, who was gingerly poking at his nose.

"You know what? I thought you might have actually turned out to be a decent guy for awhile. But you made Emmy cry, which takes quite a bit, and for which you ought to be ashamed but clearly aren't - "

"I didn't - " James started as Sirius began to say, "Hold up a minute, there - "

"Honestly," Lily said loudly over them, "you must feel quite the alpha male. Made the seventeen-year-old girl cry. How _masculine_."

"Lily, you might want to - " Remus put in tentatively, but Lily didn't even acknowledge him this time.

"I guess none of your _friends _pointed out to you that you shouldn't do that to people," she said pointedly. "I guess they were too busy _fawning _all over you to tell you to stop being such an arrogant, toe-rag of a bully."

"Hey - " Peter interjected, face flushed and looking quite ugly. Lily brushed him off.

"Don't even get me started on you, Pettigrew. I thought you'd have some common sense, but no, you're much more interested playing with the big boys on the playground because you're too scared - "

FWUMP!

Something white hot and with the force of a bullet slammed into her chest. Lily flew backwards through the air, flipping once, twice, before hitting the ground hard. She gasped, all the air knocked out of her.

And the air wasn't coming back.

XXX

In the space of five seconds, James completely lost his mind.

Lily. On the ground.

Peter. His wand raised, tip smoking. Shocked.

Sirius. Blank faced.

Remus. Disbelieving.

And Lily. Not moving. On the ground.

He was not aware that he was shouting at Peter, nor was he aware that a line of blood was running down his chin and dripping from his spectacularly broken nose. He was only aware of the fact that there was Lily. On the ground.

He stopped yelling and ran to the supine Evans, who looked terrified and in pain.

"Evans, Evans say something! Swear at me, insult my ancestors, come on, please!" She did not respond except to begin hyperventilating, doubled over and gasping.

He felt panic, more panic really, rise up to strike like a snake. He could not think right, could not speak right, could not do anything right.

And nothing, nothing was right.

XXX

"What the hell, Peter?" she heard James roar, then the thudding of feet. "Evans, Evans say something! Swear at me, insult my ancestors, come on, please!" His face was hovering above her, glasses lopsided and a trickle of blood running from his nose. Her breathing was rapidly quickening as a twisting and agonizing pain grew from the place where the curse had hit and started spreading with the circulation of her blood.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it slipped out!" Peter was insisting in a high, hysterical voice. There was a smacking noise and a yelp of pain from Pettigrew.

"What'd you do?" Remus demanded, a feral growl causing him to sound more menacing than Lily had ever heard him.

"We need to - someone should - " Sirius seemed to be at a loss.

"We need to get help, and we need to get help _now_," James said in a panicked voice. Lily didn't know how she was still conscious. A dull ache was taking over the tips of her fingers and toes and moving steadily inwards, to her arms, her chest. She took a short, uneven, rattling breath and James leaned over her, eyes wide and afraid. Lily could do nothing but look back.

"James." It was Peter, tentative and terrified. "James I never meant to hurt her I swear, I swear,_ I swear_."

"Peter, you need to go now before I do something I might regret," James said in a horribly calm voice and Lily heard Peter groan before running, apparently unable to look at what he'd done anymore. Now it seemed as though Lily and James were alone, Sirius and Remus having gone to get help. Lily closed her eyes against the now blinding sunlight, but she felt James' hands hovering on either side of her face. "Dammit dammit _dammit_." A sharp pain that made it harder to breathe constricted her throat and she choked, but could not cough.

"I - " Lily managed to croak but then her chest tightened and her face crumpled in a spasm of pain. James didn't seem to know where to put his hands. They were rather large, calloused hands - solid hands - and it was oddly mesmerizing to see them so uncertain.

"I'm sorry," James continued in a smaller voice, "for whatever I've done. I dunno what" - he laughed with no humor - "but you - you're right scary when you're mad, do you know that? C'mon, Evans - you're so strong. You don't realize it, but you are. Don't go to sleep on me, all right? Stay awake, someone's coming. Don't you dare close your eyes. Do you hear me, Evans? Don't you dare go to sleep. Remember - remember when I met you?"

She was slipping hazily in and out of focus, but James voice remained steady and clear.

"You were so mad - I can't even remember what I said that made you so mad. And you were defending Sni - um, Snape, and you turned all kinds of pink - and I remember thinking, I thought, that girl is tough. That girl could lead an army. Do you remember that, Evans? C'mon, keep those eyes open, just a little while longer, I promise. I promise. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, so you're not allowed to go anywhere either, understand?"

He exhaled forcefully, eyes huge and scared. She met them, unblinking, black spots gathering at the edges of her vision.

"Oh God, Lily."

"Mr. Potter!" That was Professor McGonagall's voice. "Oh my - Mr. Black. Get Madam Pomfrey. Now! Mr. Lupin, I need you to find Professor Slughorn. This is a result of a curse, and a nasty one at that." Running feet. The rustle of robes. James' hurried explanation. She felt herself being lifted into the air, and the pain of moving brought the black sliding over her eyes.

And the last thought she had before she lost consciousness was that he had called her Lily.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Explanations and an Excess of Awkwardness

There were moments when Lily thought she might be awake, but in truth she was not. She could remember little snippets of conversations, always murmured, always indistinct. Sometimes it was McGonagall's voice she heard, other times Emmy, Alice, Mary, and Frank's. Remus was a frequent visitor, often accompanied by James, who was in turn accompanied by Sirius.

"Where did Peter learn the curse in the first place?"

"I dunno. He was being bullied by the Slytherins for a while, d'you think they used it on him?"

"I guess." A silence.

"This is all my fault."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

It was on a pleasant evening a week later that Lily woke up fully. The sound of soft snoring, pages flipping, and nervous foot tapping were the first sounds she was aware of. Slowly, as if she had forgotten how, Lily opened her eyes a tiny bit. There were no Death Eaters. Why on earth would she think there would be Death Eaters? Nightmare, merely a nightmare.

Her hand went to her head, as it hurt quite a bit, and she mentally checked for injury. All right, everything seemed to be in order. Yes, she had a dull pounding in her head and it felt like a centaur had kicked in her the chest, but hey, she wasn't dead. That was good. That was very good.

A rush of memories, of a map, of werewolves, of masked attackers, and a fight.

Lily sat up very quickly, gasped, and clutched at where she supposed her lungs were.

"That _hurt_!" she cried, wincing. Emmy, who had been sitting in the chair closest to Lily's sickbed, shrieked and skidded backwards, knocking over her seat in the process. Remus jumped so violently that he too fell onto the floor where he lay sprawled, looking quite disgusted at his undignified position. Mary clapped both hands to her mouth and went perfectly still and deathly white. And James Potter jerked out of a dream that made him devoutly thankful that Lily couldn't do Legilimency and managed to turn his yelp into a strangled cough.

XXX

He was having one of those dreams where everything you want to happen comes true: Peter had been forgiven by everyone, even Remus (James had indeed forgiven him, albeit reluctantly, but friends remained loyal. Sirius, after some persuasion had 'gone to the dark side' as Remus called it. But Remus, probably as he'd been friends with Lily for so long, was stubborn, and whenever James tried to plead with him, he turned James' own argument back at him: friends remained loyal).

Anyhow, everyone was friends again, Sirius was normal (that part was true, thank God), Lily was at his side, and Voldemort was gone.

"James," Lily started to say in his dream, smiling, her green eyes sparkling, "That hurt!" James stared.

"What?" he asked, confused. Lily shrieked.

James' eyes snapped open, jolted out of any grogginess. Lily was sitting up, her hand pressed to her chest. She was wincing and normally he would've immediately jumped up, but he restrained himself due to the fact that she was most likely still considering the idea of breaking his nose again.

"You gave us yet another right old scare, Lils!" Emmy scolded her from where she was sitting on the floor by her overturned chair, her blonde hair half masking her pink face. Lily beamed, obviously preferring scolding Emmy as opposed to wild mood swing Emmy that she forgot about her damaged lungs.

"You're normal again!" she said happily, getting out of bed rather tipsily and intending to go hug Emmy. What really happened was that she didn't make it two steps before her knees gave out and Lily nearly toppled over, and indeed, would have toppled over if it weren't for Emmy and James jumping up to catch her.

"Stay in bed," Emmy advised her belatedly, grinning as she helped Lily to sit down on the bed. James, however, let go of Lily as quickly as possible and sat back down, feeling supremely uncomfortable.

"Let's not do anything else either stupid or potentially dangerous," Remus commented dryly as he picked up his book and himself off the floor. Lily wrinkled her nose at him.

"I feel very odd," she confessed, carefully looking anywhere but at James. James wasn't sure whether he appreciated that or disliked it. "What happened?" Emmy snorted, righting her chair and sitting back down.

"You channeled the spirit of Peeves and went insane," she said bluntly, her tone amused. "And you nearly died," she added in a more somber way, the dark circles under her eyes suddenly very pronounced. "Madam Pomfrey says you would have died too, if it weren't for Sniv - ah - Severus Snape. He cooked up some wonky potion with Professor Slughorn and you developed a high fever and became delirious. But now you're okay." Emmy looked delighted at the fact.

"Sev?" Lily asked in surprise. Mary nodded. James unconsciously clenched his hands into fists.

She _still _called him that nickname?

XXX

Lily felt a crease start between her eyes as the story progressed.

"Sev?" she asked, disbelief coloring her voice even to her own ears. Mary nodded affirmatively.

"Yeah, he knew this potion that could reverse the effects of the curse," Mary said indifferently, but as she went on, her voice lowered conspiratorially. "Of course, the big deal isn't that he saved you. After all, where would he learn a counter curse but at the same place where Peter learned the actual curse?" Lily frowned. Surely Sev wasn't involved with anything _illegal_?

"Peter," she repeated slowly. The mood took a turn for the worse.

"Yes, Peter," Remus said sourly. Mary and James gave him a look, but Emmy scowled in agreement. "He has detention 'til April," Remus went on in a clipped voice, and Lily decided to change the subject.

"Should I go?" James asked suddenly. He was staring at the ceiling as though entranced. Lily was inclined to say yes, just to avoid more awkward silences, but Remus shook his head sharply.

"I want to clear up a few things before Madam Pomfrey kicks us out," he said coolly, marking his place in his book deftly. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "Now," he said in a brisk, business like way, "Lily, what was all the fussing about?" Lily blushed. She thought for a moment, trying to gather the right words to make it as lucid as possible.

"I think I was a bit mistaken now, but I was under the...er...impression - mistaken impression - that James had, er, messed - somehow - with Emmy. I'm now thinking that I might've been slightly off the mark," Lily explained, turning redder and redder with each word. James coughed.

"That's...well..." He blinked.

"Why would James mess with me?" Emmy asked in an incredulous voice. Lily shrugged sheepishly, instantly regretting it as her ribs protested the movement. Emmy merely stared for a moment. Then she burst into peals of laughter. "Wait. Wait. Mess with me - like, romantically? J-_James_? Oh, that's brilliant Lily! After all the times I've told you that it's _you _who ought to - "

"Well you were all depressed," Lily interrupted quickly, glancing involuntarily at James. "And you kept shooting him those looks." Emmy sobered up at once.

"Not him," she said darkly, averting her eyes. Remus tactfully stayed quiet for a moment, for the dramatic effect of the thing, you know, then continued, just as firm as before.

"Well, that's understandable," he said fairly, his lips twitching. "But in the future, let's not jump to conclusions, hmm?" Lily stuck her tongue out at him.

"Can I just be sure of one thing?" James said slowly. Lily turned to him, trying with all her might not to stare at the little golden flecks. "I didn't do anything wrong, right?"

Remus blinked, watching Lily warily. He shot her a look that referred back to quill impaling, which she ignored magnificently.

James seemed to be bracing himself for a blow.

"No," Lily said apologetically. "And I'm sorry." Everyone let out the breath they'd been holding.

As he was rather near and she didn't have to stand up, Lily leaned forward and hugged him. "Thank you," she said while still in contact, "for saving me yet again and I really am sorry for yelling at you and breaking your nose and provoking your friend." James' arms seemed to want to put themselves around her, but instead the two broke apart hastily.

"I have to go," James said after a moment, but he wasn't angry or offended. On the contrary, as he left the hospital wing, he looked as though he was fighting the impulse to whistle.

XXX

All right. So life wasn't hell anymore.

James was okay with that.

Lily had many visitors, some from people she barely knew but wanted to know the full story, others close friends. Alice and Frank were frequent visitors, Emmy, Mary, and Remus as well, but James didn't come. Or so she thought.

"He comes when you're asleep," Emmy explained, smiling knowingly. It was a pleasant afternoon, Emmy sipping a cup of tea and Lily doing make up work. Lily glared at her to dispel any ridiculous notions that she and James were becoming an item.

"So why aren't you still stuck in angst-land?" she said to change the subject and Emmy's ears turned faintly pink.

"Before you, well, lost it, I had been arguing with...someone...about...something and after you attacked that...er...someone's friend told me that...that someone was feeling down about it and since it looked like you were dying the something someone and I had been...arguing about...kinda-kinda paled in comparison." Emmy took a deep breath after this speech, her ears still pink.

Lily stared, her mind trying in vain to make sense of what she had said.

"Well gee, Emmy," she said weakly, finishing her essay on Common Welsh Greens with a slight flourish, "that wasn't at all complicated."

"Well it _is _complicated," Emmy protested, her eyes watering slightly. Her lower lip was trembling dangerously so Lily hastily assured her that she was sure it was very complicated and if she ever wanted to talk about it, Lily was there.

Needless to say, Lily was quite relieved when Emmy changed the subject.

Lily was feeling much better, but Madam Pomfrey insisted on keeping Lily until the lung bruising was entirely healed. Which meant, of course, that she missed the next Head meeting _and _prefects' meeting. Remus came by to tell her all that transpired naturally, but Lily was getting tired of lying around with nothing to do. She'd tried, rather slyly, she thought, to bring up the subject of the Order, but, as per usual, Remus was invariably tight-lipped about it.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"I can't tell you that either. It's called a secret for a reason."

Plenty of questions, yet no answers.

Visitors were, of course, welcome, but the map was really starting to consume Lily. The moving dots were a constant source of amusement, and also useful for checking on how things were going. Alice and Frank, for instance, made great efforts to continue seeing each other despite the fact that they were in different houses. Lily had known this, but not to this extent. And Emmy snuck down to the kitchens. A lot. Lily especially resented this. She was so thin! How did she keep the weight off? Unless she was just there to have therapy sessions with the house elves.

For some reason, she watched James too. There was one evening, exactly four days before she was released from the hospital wing/prison, and she was watching the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin via Marauder's Map. Lily had only been to two Quidditch matches, because she'd been banned by Gwenog Jones (the old Captain) from the pitch thanks to James' inability to focus in her presence, so it was interesting to watch. After the last time the opposite Chaser had intercepted a Quaffle thrown to James while the latter tried to stare at her in a way that wasn't blatantly obvious (which he failed fantastically at), Jones had taken her aside and told her politely - but firmly - to stay away.

She watched him, or rather his dot, swoop and swerve around. Occasionally, a player would get so close to him that she'd fear for his safety, but he'd never get hurt.

Until the day before she left.

XXX

Everything seemed to be going right for James all of a sudden. It was like he'd used up all the misfortune he was allowed to have, so now he was only left with happiness.

The letters from his father abruptly ended with one last note that detailed, for the first time, his mother's speedy recovery. She was getting better. Lily was better and no longer baying for his blood. Sirius was better, though still a bit lovelorn. Could life be any, well, better?

He had a long and invigorating talk with the Gryffindor Team on their way to the Quidditch pitch on the subject of the Wronski Feint.

"Well, it's dangerous, but if it pays off I guess I could try it," Mark Spinnet, Seeker, said, unsure.

"It's not as easy as it looks," his twin sister, Josie, said crisply, slipping on her Chaser gloves. The other Chaser besides Josie and James himself, Becca Lee, agreed.

"You'd die," she said bluntly.

"Yeah but if it pays off," Paul Pinkerton said smoothly, swinging his Beater bat experimentally, "we get to rub it in the Slytherins' faces." The other Beater, Thomas Bertram, shrugged, noncommittal.

"I don't want anybody injured," James said firmly. As Captain (he still grinned to himself whenever he thought of his title) he had the right to veto certain idiotic ideas.

"I don't think I'd get hurt all that bad if it didn't go perfectly," Mark snapped, stung. Irina King, always the peacemaker stepped in.

"I think that none of us want a Seeker with a broken neck," the Keeper said quietly and calmly, and that put an end to that. Despite the fact that she was two years younger than James, he still felt that he had found his future predecessor.

"Anyhow," James said loudly. "Good luck. Don't screw up too badly." James' pep talks usually were only one sentence. He was feeling unusually talkative, perhaps because of his good mood. He grinned broadly around at them all.

"This game," Mark said in a voice that already rang with victory, "is gonna be the biggest game of the year!"

He had no idea.

XXX

They must have been carrying him in while she was trying to asleep, for she woke to sounds of low voices. She looked blearily to her left, sitting up groggily. James was in the bed next to her, out cold. Remus, Sirius, and Peter were there of course, a few younger boys Lily supposed to be from the team, and the Spinnet siblings, Josie and Mark.

"You'd think he'd duck a Bludger," Mark said quietly. Nobody seemed to realize Lily was awake, and she didn't mind. She wanted to know what James was like to other people.

"That's the point. He would," Remus said darkly, leaning forward in his seat in a decidedly conspiratory way.

"Are you saying - ?" Josie asked quickly, but one of the younger boys cut her off impatiently.

"Josie, they're Slytherins. Regulus would do anything to get revenge on Sirius, and if that means messing with his best mate, sure," he said pointedly, scowling.

"He always was a nasty blighter. I don't see how we're related, but we are," Sirius said bitterly, looking ready for a fight.

"You're not like them Sirius," Peter said quellingly.

"Damn right I'm not," Sirius snapped, rubbing his arm self consciously. He glared around at them all, and his roaming gaze hit upon the now wide awake Lily. "Evans!" The group swivelled around to look at her. Lily blushed.

"Is-is he all right?" she asked to hopefully drive them off the 'you've been eavesdropping' line of conversation. The younger boys exchanged a mistrusting look, while the Spinnet siblings looked to Remus for direction.

"How long have you been awake?" Sirius asked roughly, sitting up straight.

"Long enough," Lily retorted, eyes narrowing. "What's this about Slytherin sabotage?" Mark looked evasive, but Josie, who knew Lily somewhat, answered immediately.

"Every Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match, something bad always happens to one player. It's been getting nastier and nastier, but normally we can avoid disaster. James has been distracted during practices, very distracted." She took a deep breath. "Madam Hooch didn't see it, but after Mark caught the Snitch, the Slytherin Beaters hit their Bludgers at the same time, got James right in the head. Mark and I were close, we managed to nab him before he fell, but there was nothing, I mean nothing..." she dwindled off, her hands gripping the arms of her chair a bit tighter. "Pomfrey's fixed him up, but he'll spend the night."

"Well," she said abruptly, frowning slightly at James' still form, "he's strong, I'll give him that. He's doesn't realize how strong, but he is." Abruptly, a picture-less memory skated through her thoughts, brought to the surface without warning.

_"C'mon, Evans - you're so strong. You don't realize it, but you are." _

There was a silence at this, a long and pensive one. Sirius and Mark glanced at each other, while Josie's lips curled up in what might have been a smile. The younger boys nodded. Remus looked at her appraisingly, obviously pleased.

"Well," he said briskly, looking down at James' unconscious form, "that's that I suppose." He nodded to Lily and stood up, Sirius and Peter joining him.

"We'll be back to see him later," Peter said, beet red and averting his eyes from Lily. He had never fully apologized for the curse and it was still awkward.

"Peter?" Lily called before he left. Peter turned back around, looking apprehensive. "Um, it's okay." For some reason, Peter only looked unhappier as he left, leaving Lily mentally berating herself for the bad timing.

But however awkward it was going to be with Peter, it was going to be far more awkward with James. As the bedraggled Quidditch team slowly trailed out, Lily prayed that James would remain oblivious to her presence, but with her luck, it was doubtful. As darkness fell and sleep eluded her, Lily steeled herself for what was shaping up to be a _very _long night.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: A Small Stretch of Peace in Which Lily Nearly Does Something Rash and James is Surprisingly Persuasive

At some point, Lily must have fallen asleep, because when she awoke it was pitch black and silent. She glanced over to where James' bed was as her eyes adjusted. As far as she could tell, he was still dead to the world, so she quietly swung her legs over to get out of bed and padded over to the window. What had woken her up? She could have sworn it was a shout and a bang, but the grounds yielded no answers.

Shrugging, but still not tearing her eyes away from the grounds lit by the full moon, she peered out.

Wait.

Full moon!

Looking back quickly at James' prone form, it hit her in an instant. Remus had transformed, with only Sirius and Peter to somehow keep him in check. They were humans, they couldn't do it alone - it was doubtful that they could do it with James anyway.

In a split second decision, Lily disregarded the fact that Remus was capable of murder in his state, that it was foolhardy and rash, and that if caught, she jeopardized both the lives of staff and Sirius and Peter.

Without another thought, she started off.

However, she had forgotten Emmy had brought her stuff, for as she passed her bed, she nearly tripped over a small bag of toiletries and extra clothing. Her bag spilled over, objects cluttering out noisily. Lily, wincing, pulled out a bathrobe, wrapped it around herself, and tiptoed past the sleeping Potter.

"Wuzzgoinon?"

Lily froze, one foot upraised. James. Awake. Now. Oh _come _on.

"Evans?" came James' sleepy voice. Lily scowled a scowl that he couldn't see in the darkness. What had happened to 'Lily'? Shaking her head to clear it, she stayed mute in the hopes that he would roll over and go back to sleep.

But of course he didn't.

"Where're you going?" James' voice again, more awake this time, and Lily saw, as her eyes adjusted, his black silhouette sitting up and putting on his glasses.

"Bathroom," she lied, praying silently that this would throw him off.

But of course it didn't.

"I can tell when you're being naughty and not telling the truth," James said, sardonically dry. Lily choked back an unexpected laugh. Shaking her head again, she padded to the door anyways, despite James' whispered protests. Undaunted, she continued on, James half tripping out of bed as he followed her.

Drat it all.

XXX

It was the clatter of something like glass spilling that woke him up.

"Wuzzgoinon?" he mumbled, half awake. He blinked and a rush of memories hit him. Slytherins. A Bludger. Hospital wing. Ouch. A movement caught his eye and he shifted, squinting.

"Evans?" he asked, dazed. It was Lily all right. He could never mistake her outline. What was she doing, getting out of bed in the dead of night?

It was silent, but as he became more awake, it was clear that Lily was indeed sneaking out. A prefect and a Head Girl, sneaking out. _Oh, I'm never going to let her forget this._

"Where're you going?" he asked, blinking again and sitting up. He grabbed his glasses and put them on. Yep. Definitely Lily. No mistaking it now.

"Bathroom," she said uncertainly. He grinned in the blackness. Poor, naive, innocent girl. Couldn't lie without sounding guilty.

"I can tell when you're being naughty and not telling the truth," he said, amused. _Nice try. _He heard her snort and swung his legs over the bed. "Evans," he whispered, but she didn't stop. "Evans," he whispered again, but to no avail. Slightly apprehensive, he followed her. Women. Always a mystery. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go help Remus," she answered quietly. James nearly ran into a suit of armor.

"What?" he demanded incredulously. Lily stopped for a moment, practically radiating scorn.

"You heard me," she snapped as she started off again.

"You can't do this," he was still insisting in a low voice as she snuck into the hallways. "There are prefects everywhere, the professors sometimes patrol with them, not to mention the fact that you're going after a fully transformed werewolf! You don't understand the danger!"

"I've read up on it," Lily replied, undaunted. Read up on it? What was she playing at? James groaned. He was going to have to tell her. Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it! Sirius was going to be _furious_.

"Okay, okay!" he hissed. "Just stop, I have to tell you something before you go get yourself killed because of a lack of information!" Lily ignored him, pressing on. It was at times like these that James questioned his taste in women. "Lily, _listen to me_!"

"What?" she snapped, whipping around to face him. James took her by the shoulders and pushed her up against the wall, none too gently. Good. Now he had her attention.

"I'm an Animagus," he said quickly. Lily blinked. "I turn into a stag," James went on, almost too casually, perhaps. "That's why I can help Remus. _You _can't change shape. He'd bite you. Animals aren't affected by werewolves. Humans are." Seeing Lily's disbelieving look, he rolled his eyes and abruptly stepped back. He concentrated, hard, on his Animagi state and felt the usual brief pain. Bones cracked, lengthened, and realligned, skin stretched, and a light sheen of hair sprouted up. He felt his snout enlongate and there was one more loud snap as his spine adjusted.

Now a stag, he shook his head and focused on Lily. She had flattened herself against the wall, breathing quickly in a sort of fear. He cocked his head, the antlers astride his head moving with the motion.

Lily whitened to the hue of the Grey Lady and her eyes widened. Inwardly, James winced. She'd just recovered. Perhaps the shock had been a little...too...much...

XXX

_Oh. My. God._

"Change back," Lily managed to squeak. "Change back. It's unnatural." James - the stag - obliged. The horrid cracking noises started up again and Lily closed her eyes tight so she wouldn't have to see the transformation back. Finally she felt a light tap from a thankfully human finger.

"Lily?" James asked nervously. Lily opened her eyes one at a time, making sure it was indeed James and not the stag. It was. She shivered.

James sighed, then leaned against the wall, white faced and a slight sheen of sweat covering his face. Lily panicked as he closed his eyes, breathing slowly and carefully. Should he really have attempted such advanced magic after being injured?

"James," she started, wanting to put out a hand to steady him but at the same time _not _wanting to. James gave her his trademark cocky smile with his eyes still closed.

"Told you," was his curt response to her shock. "Now do you believe me?" Lily shot him a reproachful look as she slowly moved away from the wall.

"You just changed into a-a deer" - James grimaced and Lily read his expression: _It's called a _stag_, thank you very much _- "and you think I'm thickheaded enough not to believe you?" she said in a somewhat more Lily-ish voice rather than the squeak. James paused, finally opening his eyes, his expression mock thoughtful.

"You?" he said slowly. "Thickheaded?" He screwed up his face in intense concentration then nodded, apparently having reached his conclusion. "Yeah." Lily swatted at him but he dodged easily, grinning impishly now. Well, if he was recovered enough to act like an idiot, she supposed she could get on with some questions now.

"All right," she said firmly. "I need a few things sorted out."

"Sorted out?" James asked warily. Lily nodded.

"The Quidditch match," Lily said, and waited.

"Yeah, so you heard about it then," he said offhandedly, but Lily could tell he was interested as to what her reaction would be.

"Your team was right next to my bed. Sirius, that is to say, _Black_, was very strung out. Something about his brother...?" She intentionally left the question open for answer.

"His brother is none of your business," James said stiffly, suddenly guarded. Lily maneuvered herself so she had him with his back to the wall.

"Oh, but it _is _my business James," she breathed, advancing on him. "Because whatever it is you're into is starting to get on my nerves. Sirius being so tense. Peter cursing me." She let that hang in the air for a moment. James' hands clenched and unclenched subconsciously. "Remus', and I quote, 'furry little problem' is just as much of an issue to me as it is to you." She stopped, frowning. "Emmy thought his bunny was demonically possessed, but he doesn't have a bunny, does he?" James shook his head, but he was far from being distracted.

"Lil - _Evans_," he corrected himself, "you don't know what you're getting into. It's complicated." His words triggered the thing she had been needling Remus about ineffectually, and she wondered, quite slyly, whether or not wheedling information out of James would be any more successful. She had a distinct feeling it would.

"The Order? Is that complicated?" James stiffened at this, his expression turning evasive. Lily decided to be persuasive. "Now, now Potter," she said lightly, pulling out her wand to tap it against the tips of her fingers in a nonchalantly menacing way, "I would hate to interrogate you, but if push comes to shove, I've always wanted to practice that truth jinx Professor Fortescue taught us."

"The Order's an organization," James said vaguely, his tone careful.

"An organization that does _what_?" Lily persisted. James seemed to be giving in.

"Well, erm...it does...good stuff."

"Good stuff."

"Yeah. What's wrong with good stuff?"

"I'm going to give you to the count of three, and then I'm going to be very displeased."

"_Evans_."

"One."

"Oh, come now, let's be mature about this!"

"Two."

"Argh! Women!"

"Two and a half."

"Fine! Fine! Just to shut you up!"

Lily smiled smugly, folding her arms and watching James fidget in a way that only caused him to fidget even more.

"I - I can trust you, Evans?" James asked at last, averting his hazel eyes - and the golden flecks within - away from her. Lily nodded.

"Go on," she urged, barely concealing her curiosity.

"We're fighting Voldemort," James said bluntly. It took Lily's mind about thirty seconds to wrap itself around this concept, a thirty seconds in which James proceeded to make himself very, very nervous.

"Voldemort," Lily repeated after a moment.

"You said his name!" James actually sounded surprised. Lily restrained herself with great difficulty from sighing exasperatedly.

"Yes I did. I said Voldemort. Whoohoo." She raised her arms in mock celebration. "Can I join?" James looked blank.

"Join what?" he asked. This time Lily didn't even try stopping herself. Her sigh was as exasperated as they get.

"Can I join the Order?" she repeated slowly and deliberately. James jumped as though he'd been struck by lightning. Lily braced herself for the explosion.

XXX

_WHAT?_

"No!" he said loudly and Lily had to shush him hurriedly. Nevertheless, the two of them were forced to duck behind a tapestry to avoid detection from a Ravenclaw prefect.

"Could've sworn I heard something," they both heard him murmur. James tried not to breathe and brush Lily's arm at the same time. It was surprisingly hard. When the doubtful prefect had left, they snuck out from behind the tapestry cautiously.

"Shut up," Lily advised James. "And I'm seventeen and technically I've reached the legal adult wizarding age. I can make decisions by myself. So if you're fighting Voldemort, I want to too."

"Very noble," James hissed, agitated, "but it isn't like the heroics you've heard about. People _die _in the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore nearly didn't allow us as it was."

"Oh, so it's called the Order of the _Phoenix_, hmm?" Lily said brightly, seeming to enjoy aggravating James exceedingly. "And Professor Dumbledore runs it. I should pop up to his office right now and sign up." James was torn between being furious with Lily or himself.

"Are you daft?" he finally snapped, feeling as though the whole situation was very unfair. "You'd do something stupid and get us all killed." Lily shot him a dignified look.

"I broke your nose the day I thought you'd messed with Emmy," she pointed out. "_And _I beat you into a pile of jelly in Defense Against the Dark Arts. _And _I healed you the night you got ambushed." She paused. "Sorry about the nose."

"Yeah," James replied skeptically. "Sure you are."

"No, really," Lily said honestly and surprisingly, James felt she wasn't teasing him. "Oh, and that reminds me...I still don't understand why Emmy would be talking to you and your friends. I mean, if you're not the one she fancied...no offense Potter, but I don't think she'd go to either of you."

Oh. Ha.

Finally, he had something on Evans.

XXX

Lily rather hated the smug look on James' face.

"Actually she was speaking to us about relationship problems," Potter said, looking amused. Lily bristled.

"Why would she tell _you _that?" she cried indignantly. "Not unless...unless...she - "

"Liked one of us?" James smirked, obviously knowing she knew exactly who he was talking about. A horrible sinking feeling bubbled up from her stomach as comprehension dawned on her.

"Oh no. And - wait. It isn't Remus is it? Mary already fancies Remus, Emmy knows that. Was that why she was so upset?" Lily thought out loud. She looked back up at James, who looked like Christmas had come a day early. "I shouldn't have told you that!" she cried, upset. Oh, her emotions were topsy turvy now...if it wasn't James Emmy liked...or Remus...

Comprehension came in one bright flash.

"NO!" she screamed. James clapped a hand over her mouth, grabbed her around the waist, and dragged them both behind a tapestry. The click of heels alerted them both to a professor's arrival.

"It was right here, Professor McGonagall, I swear I heard something," the Ravenclaw prefect's voice insisted. Lily felt all the blood drain from her face. _Professor McGonagall. Merlin, no._

"Hmm," McGonagall responded after a long, long moment. "Nothing _seems_ amiss, but I'd stay close." Eventually, the prefect's grumbling and Hogwarts' strictest teacher drifted away, leaving James and Lily to marvel at their good fortune.

"Why are you so stupid Evans?" James demanded wearily when they deemed it safe enough to emerge from the folds of the tapestry. "Why? You don't scream when you're sneaking about." He glared at her. Lily, however, didn't care, because the world as she knew it had gone insane.

"Tell me," she croaked, "_tell_ _me_ Emmy doesn't fancy Peter." James stared at her, a small shadow of something like pain flickering behind his eyes. Perhaps it had been the mention of Peter. But then he sighed, adjusting his face into a solemn expression.

"She does," he said sadly, shaking his head. Lily felt like crying. "In fact," James went on with a tragic air, "Peter couldn't face the intensity of her passion and instructed Sirius and I to let her down gently." Lily pushed her hair back from her face, cringing.

Then James burst into laughter.

"You're so gullible!" he howled. "Oh God - Emmy fancy Peter? No! You must be pretty drugged up on pain potions, Evans." He shook his head, grinning at her.

"But that only leaves..." Lily paused, stunned. "Sirius?" The squeak was back.

"It was a bit obvious, Evans," James smirked. At Lily's resentful glance, he wilted. "Okay, so the first I heard of it was when she confronted Sirius, but I still realized before you did." Lily sneered half heartedly, but shook her head, mortified.

"How did I miss that?" she asked herself, but James answered for her.

"I refer back to the thickheadedness," he said smugly and Lily swatted at him again, with the same results.

"One day," Lily said in warning, glaring at him.

"One day you'll impale me with a quill, I get it," he said tiredly. Lily jumped and James grinned. "Remus told me. I have to say, very creative." Remus. Lily jumped. Remus! Oh, no, she had spent all this time making small talk with Potter when the sole reason she had gotten out of bed was to help Remus. And she'd _forgotten_. James took one look at her face and scowled, grabbing her arm.

"No," he said flatly. "You know why. There's nothing you can do." Lily tugged against his grip, guilt fueling her determination. James merely held her wrist tighter. Lily turned back to him, pleading.

"_You _can't go to him?" she asked unhappily. James shook his head.

"It takes energy for that sort of thing. I wouldn't be able to change back."

"But I've heard it hurts terribly," Lily said, upset. James shrugged.

"It does," he said simply. "But he's always okay. Sirius and Peter won't let anything happen to him."

"So you're reconciled with Peter then?" Lily asked, momentarily thrown. James nodded.

"He's been my friend since first year," he said uncomfortably and Lily took that as the cue to shut up.

"Let's go back," she said, taking pity on him.

Together, they walked back to the hospital wing.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Don't You Know You-Know-Whos Are Running Around?

The next day, Lily was released from bed rest and enjoyed her freedom almost unhealthily. She enjoyed the pound of work that was shoved at her every class. She enjoyed finishing half of it by skipping lunch. She even enjoyed being exhausted at the end of the day and still having to finish the rest of the make up.

Every ink blot she made accidentally was suddenly an occurrence to celebrate. Every rainy day when everyone was holed up in the Common Room, utterly miserable, was just another happy event. No one was untouched by her optimism. Even Moaning Myrtle couldn't help but want to stop blubbering when Lily Evans was around.

In other words, she scared her friends out of their minds.

"You're worrying us you know," Remus said pointedly as she worked feverishly in the light of a half dead common room fire. "All this-this chipperness. The constant smiling. I mean, honestly. You're jublilant while doing the bloody four foot long essay on the Goblin Wars Professor Binns gave us. It can't be good for you." Lily dotted an 'i' briskly.

"This coming from the boy who spent last night transforming into a werewolf," she said cheerily. Remus glared at her but contented himself by merely twiddling his quill between his hands.

"Tell me you're nearly done," he burst out after a few minutes of silence, apparently unable to hold back anymore.

"Nearly," Lily agreed, sucking on her quill happily. Remus groaned, putting his head in his hands morosely.

"Stop being _normal _Lily," he moaned. "I was almost used to you being crazy, but this-this..." He waved his arms distractedly, unable to describe the extent of his frustration.

Lily patted him on the head pityingly as she went to go to bed.

XXX

James couldn't help but smile. After all, who didn't want to spontaneously burst into song on such a lovely day as this? Lily was happy. And when Lily was happy, James was happy.

His friends?

Well...not so much...

_PRONGS, if you don't stop humming, _Sirius warned him in the note that was being passed back and forth in History (the Goblin Wars when explained by Professor Binns were excrutiating), _I will throw you to the wolves next full moon, so help me if I don't._

_First off, _Remus scribbled quickly when there was a lull in his meticulous note taking, _the jibe about the wolves is not amusing. Second off, you shouldn't be passing notes when NEWTs are so close._

_Aw, live a little, both of you, _James wrote, grinning. _It's not like it's the end of the world._

_Says you, _Peter wrote in his trembling handwriting. _I'm doomed. Doomed, I say, doomed! I don't know _any _of this rubbish. My mum is going to bloody kill me! _Remus scowled. He and Peter weren't yet to the 'making jokes' stage of forgiveness, but a look from James quelled him.

Remus contented himself with, _We should be paying attention, _and returned to his notes. Sirius rolled his eyes before returning to his own version of the notes, namely the notes being passed.

_We'll just copy off him later, _he wrote with a devilish grin, adding, _Guess what? Vance has agreed to remain on speaking terms._

_I suppose that's progress considering how she chewed you out about blowing her off. You really ought to try monogamy, _he scribbled, but Sirius merely smirked.

_As if you and Evans are all hunky dory, _he replied and James had to stifle his laughter. God, it _had _to be a good day when even _that _comment didn't make him sullen!

_Whatever, _he scratched out, smirking himself.

_I'll believe it when I see it, _Sirius wrote, doodling absent mindedly.

_Believe it, then, _James thought to himself, allowing himself a grin, and he began to pretend to pay attention to Binns...all the while entertaining daydreams of a certain red head of the opposite sex...

XXX

There was a definite spring to Lily's step throughout the next day, and the next, and the next, and not even an impending Head of House meeting could discourage it. Classes were intense as N.E.W.T.s were sneaking up on them, Slytherins were even more rude and irritating than usual, and Gryffindor was behind one hundred and forty-two points in the House Cup. And yet the little spring remained.

Her friends became even more frightened.

Lily was happy. She was wildly happy. She was exuberantly happy. And she didn't know why. Even though complete strangers constantly pestered her with the juicy details of what Lily had dubbed 'The Emmy/Sirius Incident,' there wasn't a moment when she wasn't half skipping down the halls or humming softly to herself.

And James, too, seemed to be very pleased, though not quite as ecstatic as Lily. So pleased, in fact, that he didn't even stutter when he asked if Lily would go to the next Quidditch match.

"If you'll go to the Head meeting and behave," she'd retorted, but she made sure to send him a half teasing, half exasperated smile over her shoulder. He wasn't that bad, really, except of course when he was acting like a world class git. But that was only ninety-nine percent of the time. The other one percent was okay.

Potions, as usual, was almost too easy. Sev tried to get her attention several times, but then, Lily wasn't in _that_ a good mood. She wasn't sure how she felt about him just yet, even if he had saved her life. Things, after all, were changing at a rapid pace, each second mercurial in its mood or feeling. Teenagers were flirting, fighting, and...

Falling in love?

Lily couldn't help but grin at that last thought as she stirred her cauldron meticulously. Sirius and Emmy weren't together, not exactly, but Alice, Mary, and Lily couldn't help but beam when they caught each other's eyes or 'accidentally' brushed arms. Professor Slughorn nodded approvingly as he passed her, pausing to sniff the seductive aroma of Lily's Amortentia, something that smelled to her like toasted almonds, the air before rain, and a scent she couldn't put her finger on. It was musky, earthy and altogether pleasing.

"Obsessive love," Lily heard the plump professor mutter fondly. "The most dangerous kind of magic." Lily grinned.

After Potions was Charms, a class that only added to Lily's good mood as they were reviewing Cheering Charms. Exceeding everyone in the class for once, Lily left her partner, Alice, giggling uncontrollably. But along with innocent practice, she and Mary shot a few extra Cheering Charms at Emmy and Sirius, just in case they ran into each other after class. At even the tiniest joke, they would all roar with laughter, doubled over and in stitches.

Yes, the entire class was in a shockingly happy state, a drawback that Professor Flitwick obviously hadn't expected as he fell off his little podium at the sight of Josie Spinnet snogging her worst enemy (and opposite number in Quidditch), Jeremy Smith, and Jeremy Smith _snogging her back_.

After all the, er, _cheery_ couples had been separated, the raucous class filed out into the hallways for lunch, leaving behind an exhausted and relieved Professor Flitwick.

"I love today!" James laughed as he swung into a seat next to Sirius, who was next to Emmy (Yes!), who was next to Lily. Mary, Alice, and Remus sat across from them, completing a very merry crew indeed.

"I love today too!" Lily called back, green eyes sparkling. Normally she would yell at James to leave, but it was such a lovely day what with all the Cheering Charms. Emmy, swinging her legs like crazy, giggled.

"Well I love today too then!" she said through peals of merriment.

"I love it!"

"I'm _in _love!" Frank cried as he passed them, pausing to plant a very long and passionate kiss on a giddy Alice. He had gone to Charms first, and it was a testament to the Hufflepuffs' magical prowess that his high spirits had yet to wear off.

"Oh look!" Emmy said in surprise once Alice and Frank were quite done. "An owl! Isn't that your owl, Lily? You know, Scruffy?" she added, turning to Lily, the occasional giggle punctuating her sentence. Lily felt a small twinge of guilt. She hadn't really been that attentive to her pet. But Scruffy, as he swooped down and landed in her mashed potatoes, didn't seem to mind. He held out his leg, inviting Lily to untie the letter on it.

"I didn't send you home," Lily scolded him good naturedly, scratching him behind the wing joints as she gently eased the letter off his leg.

"Who's it from?" Alice asked through her happy daze as soon as Scruffy had flown off. Lily frowned at the address.

"Home," she said shortly, suppressing the Cheery glee. It was in her mother's handwriting. Her mother never wrote. She opened the letter, concerned.

_Dear Lily_, it read.

_I'm sorry this is so short, but we're all a bit frazzled here. You remember Vernon Dudley, Tuney's boyfriend? The rugby captain? Well, they've eloped together, supposedly to Glasgow - it doesn't really seem Petunia's style, does it? Your father and I are figuring things out, just thought you needed to know. Must dash - don't do anything stupid. Please._

_Mum_

Lily felt a mad desire to laugh, but her facial muscles seemed to have frozen. Petunia. Eloped. Those words didn't belong in the same paragraph, much less the same sentence.

"Lily? Lily?" Alice asked, trying very hard to keep a straight face. Emmy pried the letter from Lily's numb hands and read it. For a moment she said nothing.

Then she burst into peals of laughter.

She waved the paper at Alice, who took it, and as soon as Alice began reading it (Mary reading over her shoulder), Emmy, gasping, fell out of her seat to roll around on the floor, tears of ecstacy streaming down her red face. Sirius, James, and Remus leaned backwards to watch her, half amused, half bewildered.

Alice and Mary, having finished the letter, tried their very best not to crack up, but they was fighting a losing battle. People began to point and Lily couldn't blame them. What a quaint tableau they must have made, James, Sirius, and Remus blatantly confused, Emmy rolling around on the floor in spasms of hilarity, Alice shaking with suppressed giggles, Mary going red with the effort of not laughing, and Lily, who was staring deadpan at the wall, green eyes wide and bemused.

A succession of words that made entirely no sense were scrolling through her mind:

Eloped. That meant to run off and marry someone secretly, which was what Petunia, her calm, rational, somewhat annoyingly stiff sister, had done. Hmm.

Petunia. That was a stiff, somewhat snobby older sister. Blond, mildly attractive, certainly smart enought to avoid running off with a big-headed prat called -

Vernon Dursley. That was a cocky excuse for a rugby captain who wouldn't fit through the doorway. Now Lily tried to string these random segments together.

Petunia eloped with Vernon Dursley.

Nope, didn't make sense.

Petunia Dursley. Lily shuddered involuntary. For heaven's sakes, what would their _children _look like? Blond _pigs_? She shuddered again before swaying ominously.

"Evans? Evans, you all right? You look..." But the rest of James' sentence was lost as Lily tipped backwards off her seat. She didn't faint, but she did lay there on the floor in a stupor.

"Give her some CPR, mate," came Sirius' voice from a long way away. "That'll wake her up."

"Shut up Sirius," said Remus, his voice slow and distorted. Lily was vaguely aware of Emmy still howling with laughter beside her, and Lily couldn't help but think that it was hilarious. She giggled weakly, then chuckled, then began laughing in earnest. Lips twitching, the general weirdness of the moment hit her fully and she threw back her head and roared with merriment. Now people were really staring.

Lily couldn't stop laughing as James stood over her, cocking his head to one side, confused. She did pause though, grinning broadly up at him, then started up again in earnest. She laughed until it hurt and she was out of breath and it was still okay. Petunia eloped! Petunia eloped! It didn't make sense, but what _did _in this insane world in which little golden flecks were found in the oddest places, and You-Know-Whos were running around, and Emmys and Siriuses were in love, and Lilies lay on the floor, laughing their heads off? She laughed at the absurdity of it all, and when she did get up, she still felt as though she was on the floor, the world tilting beneath her.

"Lovely day," she said breathlessly to an alarmed James, and she walked out of the Great Hall, contrary to popular belief, entirely sane.

XXX

As James got ready for bed that night, he questioned the sanity of two people: Lily, and himself.

Lily, well, she'd just lost it at lunch, laughing and babbling about Tuney. Maybe insanity ran in the family?

Then, to frighten him further, she had continued in that mood for the rest of the day in a sort of stupor. She didn't even stomp on his foot when he asked her out with the thought that it would jar her out of whatever trance she was in. She just shook her head, chuckled, and ruffled his hair.

_Ruffled. His. Hair._

James himself, was certiafiably crazy now, because he had allowed himself the tiniest glimmer of hope that, due to her jubilant mood, she would say yes, which meant that he could have had a lunatic for a girlfriend now.

And dammit, he still wanted a lunatic for a girlfriend.

Shaking his head wearily, ignoring Sirius' frequent bursts of laughter (how long could a Cheering Charm last anyway?), he climbed into bed. For several minutes he stared at the top of his four-poster bed, finally removing his glasses and placing them by his bedside table.

Women. The physical manifestations for confusion. Living enigmas. Honestly.

He turned over and over restlessly, burying his head in his pillow. He tried to think of the Quidditch match that was coming up. Another one with Slytherin, as Ravenclaw had lost the previous one a few months ago. He grimaced, rolling over again. The schedule was so screwed up. It was all because of Voldemort and students leaving and Quidditch teams needing new members. Now James was a tolerant sort (in his own mind), but if you messed with Quidditch, you'd best run, and run fast and far.

And if James hadn't been pissed at Voldemort and his Death Eaters before, he was now.

You might have even said he had a personal vendetta against some of the Slytherin players due to their affiliation with them.

But however focused he was on revenge and sports, his feathers weren't ruffled too much.

Rather, he thought with a grin before slipping into a dreamless sleep, his _hair_.

XXX

Lily Evan's laugh attack didn't overthrow the gossip of Josie Spinnet and Jeremy Smith's snog fest, a fact that both relieved and didn't bother Lily at all. She was relieved that it hadn't, and she wouldn't have cared if it had. So things were back to as normal as they could get.

Lily's mother hadn't written anything else, although granted Scruffy had stayed with Lily. Feeling guilty for having ignored him for most of the year, she took to visiting him in the Owlery as much as possible. When she did, she almost always talked to him, and found, to her delight, that he could be quite the conversationalist.

If she mentioned pureblood prejudice, he would peck something angrily.

If she mentioned Slytherin, he would peck something angrily.

If she mentioned Voldemort, he would peck something angrily.

Therefore, they were on the same page, which suited them both just fine. Death Eater attacks had suddenly spiked, with drastic consequences for the student body. Poor Bethany Ingles had to be taken outside during Herbology to be told that her family had been massacred. Her father and mother were confirmed dead, but her six year old brother and ten year old sister were missing.

After sixteen of her classmates had been taken home by their families, Lily began wishing that they could review Cheering Charms again. Thankfully, Emmy, Mary, Alice, Frank, Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter stayed. And as Lily's parents wouldn't know about the attacks unless she told them, she stayed as well.

It was nice to know that despite the evil that was present almost right outside the school grounds, Sirius could still have them in stitches with his impression of Kreacher (He was the Black's house elf! It all made sense now!), that Alice could still blush whenever anyone mentioned Frank's name, even that James could duel with Sev and not even look ashamed when Lily bellowed to cut it out.

N.E.W.T.s were fast approaching, which, for once, was a happy distraction from reality. The teachers had their noses to the grindstone and so it was no surprise that there were a few breakdowns. Madam Pomfrey had her hands full with hysterics, fainting fits, and lots of nerve-induced vomiting.

But Lily was unconcerned as she feverishly flipped through her twelve page notes and she only dissolved into sobs once after she blotted her page with ink for the fifth time. Emmy by far was the most nervous, if you didn't count Peter, who was in the hospital wing for fainting in the middle of Transfiguration. Emmy attempted to jump off the Astronomy Tower after the wind had blow her notes away from her. Emmy _said _she hadn't been thinking and of course she wouldn't have jumped off to save a bunch of notes she really didn't care about, so why was everybody freaking out? Nevertheless, Sirius, who had only just managed to grab her around the waist and jerk her away from the edge, threatened a leash.

"Fun," James spat one evening as they'd all huddled around the dying embers for warmth in the common room to study. "Fun. Fun. _Fun_." Lily was still wondering why he was still sitting with her friends, but that wasn't to say she was complaining. After all, he was only annoying ninety-nine percent of the time. And as his one percent of good behavior came out more often when he was around his friends and though Lily had sworn to loathe him for all eternity, she still thought they could have a decent conversation.

"Must. Flip. Page," Sirius groaned, seeming to take a Herculean effort to turn over his Charms notes.

"Think you could give us another Cheering Charm, Lils?" Emmy asked desperately, scrubbing at her sleep deprived eyes. "I could go for one now."

Mary, poor exhausted Mary, made an attempt to lift her head from where she was sprawled next to the couch, but merely whimpered. There was a silence filled with flipping pages, muttered curses to whoever had come up with the ridiculous idea of N.E.W.T.s, and the scratching of quills.

"I miss Frank," Alice said suddenly to no one in particular. Lily patted her on the arm.

"You'll see him in the morning," she soothed her, then glanced out the window at the sky. "More like three hours." Everybody groaned as the full extent of their nightly studying hit them.

"Tired," was all Remus managed to get out between bone shuddering yawns. No one argued with him. Though the little group tried valiantly to remain alert so as to get the full benefit of their studying, one by one, they all fell asleep, right there in the common room. The soft light of dawn broke as Lily succumbed to her weariness, and she couldn't help but smile as she did.

Emmy had fallen asleep in Sirius' arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Sometimes, Lily Gets a Little Competitive

The weekend started out rather bleak. Marlene McKinnon in Ravenclaw (with whom Lily was familiar with, but not really friends with at that point) had to be taken home due to an attack on her family. All they would say is that her mother was at St. Mungo's. Lily, so busy being a teenager, had nearly forgotten about the war and its consequences. Now reality was back, and with a vengeance.

"Terrible," Alice said gloomily over breakfast as the owls swooped out the windows. "Absolutely terrible."

"Nothing we can do," Emmy reminded them pointedly, hands clenched into fists. She was glaring at her eggs as thought it was all their fault the Death Eaters were attacking. Lily nodded mutely, feeling glum. Along with Marlene, Mary had been informed that her father had gone missing. She'd stayed however, but she was ghost-like now, spending more time trying to disappear than living.

War did strange things to people. Hugs had seemed so cliché until people started dying. Sorries had seemed so adequate until they were supposed to console someone who couldn't be consoled. And safety had seemed to be so guaranteed, until the awful letters with Ministry seals on them began to be delivered with a frighteningly increasing pace.

Along with the bad, however, some good appeared. James recieved one letter from his father, detailing his mother's release from St. Mungo's. It seemed as though she would make a full recovery. Lily also recieved a letter from her mother with the invite to Tuney's wedding. It seemed as though she and her sister would be reconciled.

Yes, as in any war, life went on right on schedule, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Thinking about the millions suffering was not at all an enjoyable pastime, so instead, the students of Hogwarts turned to another outlet: competition.

Saturday was the big Quidditch match. The one that would decide the Quidditch Cup. And it was also the first Quidditch game Lily had gotten to see since first year. As Wood was no longer there, technically her ban was off, but she couldn't help but feel nervous as she and the rest of the school crowded up to the pitch in a blur of color and noise.

Shouts, noise, and general mayhem were in the air, along with a do-or-die attitude that did not bode well. It was definitely going to be a bloody game.

For this was the big one. The one they'd all been waiting for. The one that had Gwenog Jones up for hours, brooding, simmering, planning. A feverish light danced in the eyes of every fan as banners and flags proclaimed loyalties for all to see. Some people found it a beautiful sight, a glorious sight. Some took it as a less gruesome war, but still one with no room for mercy. Some even saw art in the mix of green and silver, red and gold, a palette of the true wizarding sport. Lily?

She found it creepy.

"Go Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin forever!"

"Kick their bloody a - !"

_"Mr. Black!"_

"Sorry Professor..."

"It'll be fine," Emmy assured Lily, who was now scuffing her feet in an attempt to stall. Lily disagreed, but she decided against opening her mouth. Being crushed by people wasn't good for her nerves, and upset nerves meant an upset stomach.

In a strange and spiteful twist of cruel fate, Lily, Emmy, Alice, Frank, Remus, Sirius, and Peter ended up right behind a row of Slytherins, Mary having stayed in her dorm. Bellatrix, Narcissa, Andromeda (although admittedly Andromeda wasn't all _that _bad...then again, she never really talked much around Lily), and Goyle - the usual. Lily saw Bellatrix lean over to Narcissa and form the word 'mudblood.' A cold sinking feeling filling up her stomach, Lily turned her attention to the game.

The ref, Madam Hooch, was going over the rules to the players, then she opened a trunk. Two cannon-sized balls immediately flew out ("Bludgers, Lily," Emmy explained.), zooming around the field furiously. A twinkling glimmer was there for one second, then gone so fast Lily wondered if she'd seen it at all ("Of course you didn't imagine it, that's the Snitch!"). Finally, Madam Hooch took a large red ball and threw it as high up in the air as she could ("That one's the Quaffle. I hope I don't have to explain _everything_!").

And the game began.

XXX

In the moments before a big game, everything became instantly clearer. Senses became sharper, strategies seemed better, and the feeling of adrenaline intensified.

For James, this was the reason he played Quidditch.

As soon as both teams lifted off to the screaming, cheering crowd, as soon as the wind whistled over him like a slip stream, everything just...melted away. No more Voldemort. No more Ministry letters. No more Lily. Just him and the broom. It was an enormous relief to let it all go, to empty his brain. Everything merged into a blind, colorless blur.

Except, of course, for that bright, red ball, arcing towards his outstretched hands...

And the horrendous streak of black.

XXX

Suddenly both teams were whizzing around on their brooms, flying so fast that each was a blur. Lily glimpsed James' form dodge a bludger as he dove for the Quaffle. Her hands leapt to her mouth in fear, but no, he was unscathed. There was a collective gasp from the crowd. Lily tore her eyes away from James to see the Slytherin Chaser zooming towards Gryffindor's goal hoop.

"Aaaaand that's Regulus Black, headed for the goal!" came Selena Petrovsky's excited voice. Sirius stiffened. The crowd got up on its feet. A green streak, a red blur then a loud angry rumbling from the Slytherins. "Nope, not gonna get through that easily are you!" Petrovsky cried gleefully into the microphone as the Gryffindor Keeper threw the Quaffle to the passing Chaser.

"Please try to stay unbiased," Professor McGonagall's magically magnified voice said tiredly and the crowd laughed. Lily watched and experienced this all in wonderment. Perhaps Quidditch wasn't as shallow as she'd thought.

There was a horrible shout from the Gryffindor spectators. Once again, Lily found herself having to strain her eyes to see what exactly was going on. What she saw made her catch her breath. The little Seeker, Mark Spinnet was swerving and swooping to try and avoid the Slytherin Beaters, who were doing their utmost to distract him by hitting the bludgers at him. A tiny golden glimmer was just barely out of Mark's reach. Then:

CRACK!

A Bludger made horrible contact with Mark's outstretched arm. An angry roar spread through the crowd, drowning out Slytherin's cheer. Bellatrix and Narcissa were jumping up and down. Lily had to exercise all the self control she had not to grab Narcissa's blond ponytail and rip it off her head.

Madam Hooch's whistle could barely be heard over the crowd's outrage and Petrovsky's incensed ranting.

"BLOODY _FOUL_! BLOODY _FOUL_!"

"That can't be legal!" Lily shrieked over Emmy's swearing. Alice, cheeks pink with self righteousness, shot an uncharacteristically ugly look at the Slytherins in the row in front of them.

"It is," she growled. _It's barbaric, _Lily thought to herself, biting her lip. She rather hoped that didn't happen to James.

XXX

James whipped around, causing his broom to turn sharply. Shaking his hair out of his face, he squinted, adjusting his glasses.

_Oh no. Damn!_

Mark was clutching his arm, gritting his teeth. The team zoomed inwards, signaling for a quick meeting.

"You okay?" Josie asked, worry clear on her face.

"Fine," Mark ground out.

"I'm taking you out of the game," James said firmly. Everybody made noises of protest, Mark loudest of all.

"I'm not going to sit out!" Mark hissed furiously, his eyes watering with pain and indignation. The rest of the team stared at James, pleading silently. James sighed.

"One more hit," he warned Mark. "One more, and you're out." He gently tapped his wand on Mark's arm and he felt the bones rearrange themselves back to where they were supposed to go with several nauseating snaps. Wincing in sympathy, James nodded and Mark tried out his clumsily healed arm.

"After the game, hospital wing," Josie said shortly, and she waved her hand, signifying the end of the meeting. James was still unsure, but he could only let everyone whiz off, despite the feeling of impending doom.

XXX

By the time the crowd had been calmed down, Mark had apparently shaken off whatever injury he had sustained, for he was back up in the air and drifting impatiently. Lily took a deep breath. It was so - so intense. And she had never been in a place where emotion and adrenaline ran so high, where she could go from a perfectly calm person to a rioter. It gave her a feeling of power, and she wasn't sure she liked it.

Slytherin scored.

Gryffindor scored.

Slytherin scored.

Everything was so fast, as well. The brooms, the opinions of her schoolmates, even Lily's own feelings. Every time any player put himself in danger to help with a mere goal, every time the Slytherins fouled (which was a lot), and every time one of those horrid bludgers got anywhere near James, she'd flinch. And as each happened randomly and in quick succession, it looked like she was having a seizure.

Slytherin scored again.

And again.

And again.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Emmy screamed, right in her ear. "Look! Mark's going to get the Snitch!" And she was right. Mark's blur soared up, high, higher, highest. The crowd held its breath, all but Lily missing the fact that James was zooming towards the Slytherin's goalposts. Even the Slytherin Keeper had his eyes trained on Mark's tiny form and he was drifting silently to one side.

"No!" Narcissa shrieked suddenly, pointing. Now they were in trouble. Spectators and players alike were jolted out of their reverie to stare at James speeding for the goal that would ensure the Gryffindor victory. The burly Keeper immediately started defending, though, in Lily's entirely unbiased opinion, it was more like polka dancing in the air.

The crowd drew a tremendous breath as two things happened at once: James threw the Quaffle with a mighty heave and Mark's fingers enclosed around the cool metal of the Snitch.

And then all hell broke loose.

One minute Lily was ecstatically happy. They had won! They had won!

But of course, the Slytherins in the row ahead of them, ever the graceful losers, had, simply _had_, to comment. Later, Lily couldn't even say she had heard whatever Narcissa had said correctly. All she knew was the hot, angry blood that rushed to her ears and pounded in her head.

In a fit of self righteous fury, Lily lost it. Snapped. Went insane. With a war cry, Lily dove on top of Narcissa and began beating the living daylights out of her. As she did this, she became vaguely aware that a stream of vile profanities was spewing from her normally angelic mouth.

Sirius looked stunned, while Alice and Frank shocked. Emmy seemed to be halfway between horrified and delighted, and Remus, though against his will, looked mildly impressed. Peter cowered slightly, but he was grinning wildly and clapping.

Eventually someone pulled the still inflamed Lily off of the howling Black girl. Spitting hair out of her mouth, Lily struggled against the restricting arms.

"Take _that _you - !"

"Lily, calm down! It's just a game! Merlin, we're never letting you come back here again." The voice of the person who was holding her back was unabashedly amused.

"I'll get you! Just you wait! _This isn't over_!"

Narcissa managed to throw a contemptuous, if not severely shaken look behind her shoulder as she fled, Bellatrix and Andromeda supporting her. Bellatrix was outraged, but Andromeda seemed to be fighting the urge to snort.

The arms restraining Lily spun her around. It was Emmy.

"That was beautiful. The most amazing sight I've ever had the good fortune to see. Oh, the way her ankles flew over her head as you got her, square in the nose..." She dwindled off, lost in glorious visions. "Beautiful."

XXX

James, exhilarated from his amazing catch ('cause it was amazing!), scanned the crowd for his friends, intending to allow himself a moment of gloating at the looks on their faces.

Instead, he saw what surely must have been a hallucination.

Lily was attacking Narcissa. And, if his lip-reading skills were accurate, she was swearing the bloody hell out of everybody in the vicinity. James laughed out loud. There was the fire he'd fallen in love with! He knew she hadn't disappeared!

He had, after all met her on the train...she'd been with Snivvy and he and Sirius had kind of messed around with the little greasy-haired git. She'd gotten all mad, and tossed her hair, utterly contemptuous and furious. He'd seen a little flame in those green eyes...a gorgeous, beautiful flame that burned with the intensity of a thousand suns and -

"Oy! James! Stop daydreaming and claim the prize!" Mark yelled at him, punching the air with his good arm and grinning. James swooped down, relishing the wind whistling through his hair (he had always thought he looked good with that wind-blown, macho man look), and landed in the middle of the field, where the Quidditch Cup was waiting.

Gryffindor had won!

XXX

Even the thought of the vain and prideful Narcissa sporting a black eye could not overshadow the glory of the Quidditch Cup becoming Gryffindor's. Professor McGonagall, for all her stiff tartan was bursting with pride as she passed it to the sobbing Josie Spinnet, who, as soon as she'd passed it to a boisterously happy James, was engaged in a low and dramatic stage kiss that let her long, blond hair trail the ground, courtesy of Jeremy Smith.

James shoved the trophy into the air, prompting a responding cheer from the crowd. The Gryffindor Quidditch team was hoisted onto the shoulders of the still screaming horde of people and the frenzied fans surged back into the castle, up the Grand Staircase, and into the Gryffindor Common Room.

If Lily had thought that the game was wild, then she obviously hadn't thought of the celebration. Usually, to avoid the noise, Lily would sneak up to the dorm. But now, intoxicated on the victory and fueled by the fervor of her classmates, she screamed and partied like the worst of them. Slopping her butterbeer down her front, she squeezed through the mass of students to collapse into an armchair _without _an enthusiastically snogging couple.

"Hello, Sirius!" she called flirtatiously as he sauntered by. She saw him stiffen, then whip around.

"Evans?"

Lily giggled and tossed her hair. Sirius was slowly turning a shade of red only a tad lighter than her ginger locks.

This was going to be fun...

XXX

Oh yeah. The fire was definitely back. James was perfectly at ease, relaxing and mingling. He was a hero, after all. He didn't need to go to anyone - anyone who was anybody came to him.

And so, disengaging himself from an ecstatic and fawning Peter, he sauntered over to the wall and basked in the admiration of his peers. Oh, he'd gotten the glory this time...

He grinned as he spied Lily, who seemed to be completely wasted. She was giggling and her face had reddened to just a tad lighter than her hair's tint. She was hitting outrageously on Sirius, who looked extremely wary and kept shooting furtive looks around at everyone, looks that clearly said, 'This is a joke, right?'

James considered taking Evans off his hands, but he found that tonight, he could deal with enjoying her from afar.

Plus, Sirius' face was absolutely priceless. _Ah, the joys of blackmail..._

XXX

Moments after consuming her tenth glass of punch - why was the world so woozy? - Lily collapsed into an armchair, where she dreamt of pink elephants and quaffles and screaming blondes...

But after what only felt like seconds, she was suddenly awakened by the sound of male voices conversing in low tones. Not quite awake, but not quite asleep either, she listened.

"D'you think we should look for it?"

"Well, we've been functioning well enough without it for nearly a whole year now."

"Yeah, well, that's great and all, but...I want it back. I vote Prongs has to get it. He's the one who lost it after all."

Lily frowned sleepily. That voice..she knew that voice, didn't she?

"Hey! It's not like I _meant _to lose it!"

"But you did."

"I agree."

"Me too."

"Aw, not you too, Wormtail!"

"Well, I might help you, maybe, kind of - "

"No, Wormtail."

"Okay, Moony. I won't then."

"Wuzzgoinon?" she mumbled, sitting up. There were three sharp intakes of breath. Then, gentle hands brushed the hair out of her face, adjusted the red and gold shawl someone had thoughtfully laid over her.

"Go to sleep Lily," commanded another vaguely familiar voice. Lily fought to keep her eyes open, stubbornly wanting to know what the matter was.

"What's going on?" she repeated in a clearer, more alert voice. She opened her eyes fully, now slightly annoyed, but the common room was empty. Well, empty if you didn't count the big black dog in front of the fire. No one else was there.

If Lily had been completely awake, she would have known immediately what was going on. But she was exhausted from the late night revelries, and she brushed it off as nothing even as her heavy lids closed and she succumbed to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Of Headaches and Heartaches

When Lily finally woke up, she had a raging headache and absolutely no memory of what had happened the previous night. So when she found out later that the Butterbeer had been spiked with Firewhisky, it was not a pleasant revelation, but it wasn't exactly a surprise either.

"We didn't warn you," Emmy said later, horrified. "I'm so sorry Lils, it happens every time, but then, you weren't _there _every time." For Lily, it was merely a lesson: stick to the norm. And the norm, for Lily, was being a studious, mostly composed person.

A week passed, a week that entailed the evils of N.E.W.T.s (What was that charm? _What was that charm?_), prefect duties that involved a couple of nasty first years and the newly learned Levitation Charm, and a great deal of stressing out. But it turned out fine, as Professor McGonagall took aside the people who had passed - Lily included - and congratulated them. It was, of course, an added bonus (or was it?) that they managed to get Filch down from the ceiling.

Finally, the day came, the day that was the reason that Lily had ended up going to the Quidditch match in the first place. Oh yeah. Uh huh.

It was Head meeting time.

Yes, it was time. The first Head meeting she would go to with both herself and James. Lily grudgingly admitted he wasn't that bad at Quidditch. Well, let's see how he fared when it was schedules, not Quaffles, deadlines, not goals. It would be exceedingly interesting.

How would he act, when it was time to get something done? Would be prove her wrong, or right? James Potter and the word 'responsible' before this year would have never been used in the same sentence. And yet...

Maybe it was time for a change?

He had, after all, studied with them, been one of the pack for awhile. He was funny, if not stupid, brave, if not just really stupid, and focused, if not...well...stupid. But at least he was stupid in a good way.

XXX

James was getting the nasty feeling that Lily was underestimating him. It was like ESP - he just knew. It was the way she glanced at him or pursed her lips. She'd done that second year when he'd been made Chaser. This was before he'd fancied her, and he'd been extremely annoyed. So he'd played his little twelve-year-old heart out and was satisfied to see her looking surprised in the stands.

Then sixth year, when Sirius had played that idiot prank on Snivellus. All Lily had heard was that her dear old Sev had been in danger - conveniently forgetting who had saved the greasy little bastard. She'd glared at him, and sniffed at him, and it had stung a whole lot harder, especially as she'd gone from dodgy little carrot-top to, well...Evans. Animosity grew between them; it was just too hard for her to believe that he'd saved Snape.

So he'd proved her wrong, and hadn't pushed the Slytherin around for a week. Once again, he was gratified to see her jaw drop.

He wanted that reaction again. He wanted to prove her wrong, again. Silly of him, yes. Justified?

Of course.

_Let's see if I can get her off her guard. Let's see if Lily Evans can be fun-loving...and not be plastered as well._

XXX

Time ran at an odd pace. One minute she was sitting down for breakfast, the next her last class was ending. Unexpectedly and suddenly, it was time for the meeting and Lily abruptly felt irrationally nervous. Why should she be nervous? There wasn't anything to be nervous about. She kept telling this to herself as she walked to Professor McGonagall's office, and soon she wasn't nervous at all.

She was terrified.

She could barely restrain herself from fleeing back up to the safety of the common room as she pattered down the stairs. The portraits chattered and gossiped as they usually did, but Lily, for once, wasn't amused. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the feeling of impending doom, and she found herself wishing for a distraction, any distraction.

"Ooooo, off to the Headsie meeting, are we?" cackled Peeves the Poltergeist from where he floated in the air, his legs crossed in a decidedly cocky way. "Good lucks to you from ol' Peevesie then!" He swooped down dropping the pieces of chalk he had been hiding all over her before zooming off, howling. Lily brushed the chalk marks off, scowling. A welcome distraction, yes, but not quite the one she had been hoping for.

Far too quickly for Lily's liking, she made it to the first floor, where the Transfiguration classroom was. The door to her teacher's office, as she pushed it open, was heavier than she remembered, and the strength it took to make it to the table where she and James - she and _Potter_ - would be working was phenomenal.

"Hello." Oh no, oh no, oh no, he was already here, James was already here, oh no, oh no, oh no.

"Hello," she replied coolly, very carefully sitting down and pulling out an ink well, parchment, a quill. James watched her from his seat, brow furrowing.

"I'm afraid I'm not that organized," he said as she brought out various important nothings, his eyes following her tapered fingers. "But I've got decent handwriting, so that'll be good." He pulled out his own quill and parchment and ink well, avoiding her eyes as though he had been just as nervous about the meeting as she had been. As she still was.

"Okay, our first item on the agenda is to create - oh, you'll like this - a Quidditch schedule for next week that allots time for both the Charms Club and the Gobstones Club. Think you can handle it?" Lily asked, almost challenging. James cocked an eyebrow, his expression suddenly very displeased.

"Handle it?" he repeated flatly. "I'll _monopolize _it." Lily, her mouth filling up with retorts and insults, was momentarily thrown by the fact that he knew such words as 'monopolize' and didn't say anything. James, his eyebrow still jauntily raised, delicately dipped his quill in his ink and began writing.

Oh, it was _on_.

XXX

Was that a hint of a challenge James saw?

Okay. He could deal with that. He could also win. _These magic hands aren't just for catchin' Quaffles, you know..._

He couldn't wait to see the look on Lily's face when he finished before her. She was a control freak, and this would most definitely throw her OCD out of whack. Smirking slightly, he put his quill to his parchment and began to write.

XXX

Lily began writing as well, nonchalantly scratching out a neat schedule, occasionally pausing to assess her work. For a few minutes they worked in silence, each just as determined to finish first as the other. Lily subconsciously bit her lip as she wrote at speeds unheard of. It was a frantic race of pen and paper, and the adrenaline that coursed through their veins was almost as potent as the adrenaline at the Quidditch game.

"DONE!"

Lily and James looked at each other, dumbfounded. They had finished at the same time, _shouted _at the same time. Then, realizing that perhaps they had given too much away, both of them returned to their schedules with expressions that clearly said, _I _let_ you do that_. Lily glanced at their next project: schedules for next year's first years. She sighed as James leaned in to look as well.

Then, as though both benefitting from some unseen signal, they bent over their parchment and began scribbling hastily. There was a longer silence, in which the Heads' faces were deathly serious, fighting with all they had to win. Lily, dotting a period, had the misfortune to look up and see James' do-or-die expression, and that was all it took.

She burst out laughing.

James looked as though he was trying his very hardest to remain serious, but as Lily continued to laugh, his lips twitched, then he smiled, then he began laughing as well.

For several minutes, they each were content to lose themselves in the absurdity of it all. Funny how this happened, so soon after so many fights and shouting matches. Funny how, despite that Lily loathed James and James loathed that he loved her, they could still act like they were friends. Perhaps even be friends. It was wrong in so many ways, and yet entirely right in every sense of the word.

They laughed until they cried.

They cried until they laughed.

They laughed and cried at the same time.

"Wh-why are we laughing?" Lily gasped at some point, clutching at her chest and grinning like an idiot.

"To be honest," James managed through peals of amusement, "I have absolutely no idea." They laughed all the harder.

Eventually the schedules were finished, though granted with numerous blots from a hand shaking with giggles. Lily stood up, pushing her seat in and while still grinning, in perfect control of her amusement. James stood up as well, gathering up the papers dutifully. For a moment they just stood there, relishing the pure happiness that was saturating the air.

"Not too shabby, Mr. Potter," Lily said, a smile playing about her lips. James grinned back.

"Can I walk you back?" he asked, and Lily accepted, nodding. He looked carefully nonchalant as he put the papers in a neat stack on Professor McGonagall's desk.

"Very gallant of you," she commented teasingly as he opened the door for her. He rolled his eyes, and they walked side by side in silence for a while. It wasn't the awkward sort of silence that they normally ended up with, but more of a contented one.

Around the fourth floor, Lily stopped, leaning on the banister as the diabolical moving staircase beneath her moved slowly to where she needed it to be. She looked out, over the mass of moving steps and portraits and torches, the suits of armor, the many floors with their familiar classrooms and scenes.

In that moment, she realized that it was her last year, the last year she would be here where she had first felt really and truly at home, the last time she'd see her teachers, the last time she'd see her friends. It all ended, didn't it, after this? People went their own ways.

She turned back to James, who was giving her a crooked smile. They waited in silence again, the staircase moving gently towards the fifth floor landing. James' smile suddenly faded from his face, replaced by a very solemn look. Lily's smile faded as well to a more confused expression as he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Without warning, without any notice at all, he did something very unexpected.

He kissed her.

Lily was so taken aback that for a moment she didn't pull away. She let him kiss her for a full thirty seconds before she realized what she was doing, and then she yanked her head back, breathing hard. James watched her for a moment, face blank. With an almost ironic _click_, the staircase attached itself to the landing, so both of them could have escaped if they so wished, but neither of them moved. Lily was frightened and shocked, and it must have shown on her face, for he fled, up the stairs in front of her until she could no longer see him.

She didn't know how long she stood there, stunned. Dream-like, she brushed her lips with the tips of her fingers. Gently, she traced the outline of them, wondering at how the feel of James' lips still lingered. The portraits talked and clucked, but she didn't catch any words she recognized. The staircase must have made its rotation at least five times with Lily standing on it before she managed to shake the numbness.

What had just happened?

What the _hell _had just happened?

She'd dated twice before, and both times she had never, ever felt like this. Not off-balanced, not dizzy, not so out of her element, so taken by surprise. Both times she had been in control - safe - comfortable - boring, a little, but definitely not...not...

And suddenly the problem became clear to her:

The problem wasn't that she hadn't liked the kiss.

The problem was that she'd liked it too much.

Somehow she got up and walked up the remaining flights of stairs. She managed to give the Fat Lady the password and clamber into the common room, where she sat in front of the fire, as she had done so many times before.

"Lily!" Alice cried as she pattered down the girls' dormitory stairs. "Lily, James wants to see you, he was really upset - "

She stopped at the look on Lily's face.

"Um - did something - erm - ?"

Lily continued walking, mute.

"Lily?" Alice asked, worried. "_Lily_?" Lily didn't answer. Her brain seemed to be fizzing.

How long she laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she didn't know, nor did she care. No amount of rationality could explain to her why exactly this was affecting her in such a big way.

"Lily?" Mary whispered as she tiptoed into the girls' dormitory. Lily sat up, still silent. "Lily, James wants to see you. He's got a pillow and a blanket and he's beside the door. Whatever he did, he's really, _really _sorry about it."

Lily rolled over, hugging her pillow to her chest. With a deep breath, she stood up and went to the edge of the stairs, nearly taking the pillow, but instead passing it to an uncomfortable Emmy. She put one foot down on the lower step. Then another. Then another. And this was the easiest thing she was going to have to do.

Suddenly, the stairs flattened out into a chute. There was a yelp from the end of the newly made slide and a cry from Lily, and then she was hurtling down, down, down. Down onto James, sprawled on the carpet where he had landed from slipping down the stairs. Boys couldn't go up to the girls' dormitory. Idiot.

She looked down at him for half a second, trembling, before roughly pushing herself off of him to scoot backwards against the wall where she sat, cross-legged and wary. James, wincing, sat up gingerly beside, as Mary had said, his pillow and blanket. When he spotted Lily, however, he immediately sat up straight as a poker and assumed a composed expression.

"L - _Evans_," he said calmly, though Lily could see him poking at a hole in the carpet nervously. "I shouldn't have-have...caught you by surprise like that. I understand it upset you, and I wanted to apologize. I - it won't happen again." He seemed to want to go on, but whatever he was going to say was lost as Lily stood up shakily.

"Okay," she said in an unconcerned voice, determinedly looking at her feet as he clambered to his feet apprehensively. She started to walk up a few stairs to the girls' dormitory, but the sound of voices stopped her. Dread filling her up, she pressed herself against the wall to avoid detection. Of course - this is why she'd broken up with Dirk - the inevitable locker room talk. Was James going to dish to Sirius?

_Merlin, am I twelve years old again?_

"How'd it go mate?" Sirius' voice asked, sounding as if he were doing his best to not slap his forehead.

"Bloody disaster," James mumbled.

"Aw, come on, she'll get over it."

"You want to take that bet?"

"Well at least it was with Evans instead of Winona Vane again."

"_Thanks _Padfoot."

"No problem Prongs."

Lily froze, then nearly burst into hysterical laughter. After almost a whole year, she had finally figured out what had bothered her from the first. And not only had she figured it out, it was so unexpected, so inconvenient that she might have missed if it weren't for lucky coincidence.

She knew who the Marauders were.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: Unlucky Circumstances

Lily, after several minutes of nervous deliberation, finally decided that her plan was the best she could hope for at the moment. She needed James alone to talk about what had just happened, and returning the map was the perfect excuse.

So she squared her shoulders and walked up the boys' dormitory stairs.

As she entered the room, there were several yelps, cries of "Oy! I'm not decent!" and the scrape of bed curtains being yanked shut. Lily waited it out until everything had settled and took stock of her surroundings. James, Remus, and Sirius were there, Mark Spinnet as well, but as far as she could see, no one else.

"Potter," she said emotionlessly and James flinched from where he stood by the window, facing away from her. "I want to see you. Alone." Shooting a pleading look at Remus and Sirius, James reluctantly followed her out the door and halfway down the stairs.

"What?" he asked uncomfortably. Lily nearly just shoved the map in his hands and fled, but her more mature side intervened. _If you must end it, _that terribly mature voice muttered irritably, _you might as well do it properly._

_God, this is like a break-up. Only worse._

"Meet me outside the Whomping Willow at midnight tonight. As Remus is perfectly fine until about three weeks from now, I expect you to be there on time," she said curtly. James opened his mouth, then closed it.

"Okay," he muttered and he shuffled his feet indecisively as she walked away. Lily took a steadying breath as she reentered the common room, glancing at the clock. Nine. That gave her three hours to prepare. Lovely.

XXX

If James could have contrived a more painful, unpleasant experience, he would have. If it were possible for him to skip Evans and have bamboo slivers shoved under his fingernails, he would have. He would have impaled himself on a quill. Hell, he would've let Snivellus beat him in Quidditch.

Maybe.

Either way, the thought of meeting Lily alone after he had...well...was absolutely terrifying. Why meet at the Whomping Willow? What was the deal with that? Remus said it was part of Lily's code of honor - whatever that was - and that the chances of being eavesdropped on at the Whomping Willow at midnight was zero to nil.

The way James saw it - and Sirius as well - she was either going to chew him out or cry. Neither option seemed good. Remus, on the other hand, said that, if anything, she'd just be extremely cold for a few weeks. James told him exactly where he could stick predictions like that.

This really just wasn't fair at all. He was a simple guy, with simple needs, and Lily Evans was anything but "simple." How he had managed to get tangled up in this mess was beyond him.

Oh, well. He was stuck untangling it - whether he liked it or not.

XXX

Lily hadn't been this nervous since she'd been asked to make an oral report on flobberworms in her first year.

She paced.

She fretted.

She confided her deepest, darkest secrets to the portrait of the hunter.

"That's nice dearie," he mumbled, lapsing back into sleep. Lily started banging her head against the wall. It was now eleven forty-five. Which meant it was time to go. Oh dear. Funny how the anticipation was going to kill her faster than the actual event.

She snuck out the portrait hole and by some miracle managed to make it to the grounds without detection. It was cold, and she hugged herself for the scarce warmth it would afford her. Despite her dread of being alone with James, she still felt an undercurrent of familiar annoyance at his tardiness. Thanks to the chilly weather and the discomfort she already felt, the minutes that passed by were agonizingly slow. When he was seven minutes late, she began to mutter.

"He's late," she hissed to the frigid night air. She was fighting back an overwhelming sense of terror that someone was watching her. "So now not only do I have to deal with the fact that he's keeping me waiting, but he's keeping me waiting while I freeze my bloody a - "

"I advise against continuing that sentence," commented James' disembodied voice. Lily jumped a foot in the air with a shriek and whipped around to see James pulling off a silvery cloak.

"Oh," was all she managed to say before passing a trembling hand through her red hair. The shock seemed to be doing her good. She wasn't aware of feeling terrified.

"So," James prompted. He looked at her, biting his lip. Lily immediately started talking, vaguely conscious of the fact that she was explaining about the map, her finding it, her using it, and now, her returning it. She was careful to not reveal how she found out, but she felt no shame at staring at him unabashedly. A thousand expressions were flitting across his face. Incredulous, angry, shocked, nervous, accusing, torn, approving, surprised...Lily wondered that a human being could feel so much, but then, she was feeling a myriad of emotions as well.

"And that's how it happened," she finished, holding out the map that had started off all of the crazy chain of events. James took it, his fingers brushing hers for the briefest of seconds. They both cringed.

"So we're done then?" he asked, tucking away the map in his cloak. Lily shrugged, shivering. A twig snapped.

"No," said an altogether foreboding and completely familiar voice from behind them. James reacted immediately, grabbing Lily and pulling her behind him protectively. "We're not done," Lucius Malfoy said casually as he stepped out from the shadows and removed a horrible mask. More shadows seemed to be forming, morphing into more masked people. James' hand clenched tighter on her wrist.

"You," he growled. Lily pulled out her wand, stepping out from behind James as she did. He gave her wrist a warning squeeze but she silenced him with a look.

"Yes, _us_," Lucius said with a roll of his eyes, pulling out her own wand. "The last time we were here you did something very naughty. You hit my fiance" - he indicated a Death Eater behind him and to his left - "with a very nasty curse while your pathetic friends ran for it. All your friends, of course," he went on in mock surprise, "but Sirius. His brother was _very _keen on staying to teach him a lesson, very keen, but we convinced him it was better to get him where it hurts."

"Sorry, Lucius, but I don't think he'd let you see that. You're his cousin, you see, and that's called incest - " James started, but Lily smacked him in the back of the head. Somehow she didn't think the moment was appropriate for cocky remarks.

"Shut up," Lucius said flatly, enunciating every exquisite syllable. James complied, thank God. "You'd best choose your friends more wisely, Potter." Lily felt James frown.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"How do you think we got here?" Lucius laughed, looking down his long nose at them. "Not luck, and not force. Headmaster Dumbly-dore would've been right on our tails, but the old man always had a stupid affinity for loyalty. He wouldn't - he _doesn't _- expect to be betrayed from the inside."

"The inside?" James repeated hotly. "What the bloody hell do you mean, you - " Before he could finish his sentence, however, Lily interrupted him.

"Are we done making speeches?" Lily piped up suddenly. Everyone stared at her, James included as he twisted around awkwardly in an attempt to look at her without loosening his iron grip on her arm. "Good then," Lily said smartly, neatly peeling off James' fingers and stepping to his side. "Get on with it. Torture us. Maim us. Kill us. Anything but monologue-ing." She shrugged apologetically. "I'm quite impatient you see, there's absolutely no cure for it."

Lucius seemed thrown off, and Lily grabbed at her chance.

"_Expelliarmus_!" she shouted, pointing her wand at the confused Malfoy and his wand spiraled out of his surprised hand. There was a shivering second of indecision, then all hell broke loose.

"Get to the forest!" James yelled as spells and curses began flying around them, catching stray bits of clothing and charring the tips of hair. James, seeing Lily wasn't the most athletic, grabbed her wrist again and half dragged her into the safety of the trees.

Dodging and ducking the barrage of magical attacks, Lily snarled. James once again questioned her sanity, but before he could say anything she grabbed a hank of his black hair and shoved him down, out of harm's way. She felt the heat of the purple curse graze across the top of her hand. This seemed to infuriate James.

"I'M SO _TIRED _OF BEING _SHOT _AT!" he bellowed, face red and eyes blazing. Lily ducked behind a tree to avoid being hit.

"You do this often?" she panted, glancing over at him. He didn't answer for a moment, muttering spells and countercurses at one Death Eater who seemed to be gunning for him.

"We're in the Order," James explained, still angry, but more focused. The fact that he was using a plural didn't escape Lily. "It's just not a good week unless _someone _attacks us." Lily laughed, a surprisingly cheerful laugh.

"I could get used to it," she said thoughtfully, sending a deadly stream of light at Lucius' fiancé. She got the satisfaction of seeing her howl and crumple, unconscious.

"What do you mean 'get used to it?'" James demanded, his voice shaking with barely concealed panic and fury. "This is the last time you'll ever be in this situation, I swear it." Lily half cried out and pulled them both down into a crouching position. The deadly killing curse whooshed harmlessly over them, in the exact spot where James' all too vulnerable chest had been only a split second before.

"Well if you're not careful then it'll be the last time _you'll _be in this situation," she gasped, grinning from the sheer relief that the Potter before her was breathing and unscathed. James rolled his eyes, hauling her up and pressing her up against a tree.

"I've got my Invisibility Cloak out there," he said roughly, hands tight on Lily's shoulders, his body crushing her against the unyielding bark. "I'll distract them. You run. Get it. Go." Lily shoved him back. The sounds around her became excruciatingly loud. Shouting. Yells. Spells that hissed through the air.

"I'm not leaving you to die," was all she managed to say. James' face changed to horror and he dragged her down, out of the way. A tree burst into flame nearby.

"I'm not leaving _you _to die," he whispered, and then he was fighting again, Lily scrambling up to join him. Lucius' fiancé had recovered, causing the odds to worsen. It was a good seven against two. Lily began to seriously understand that mortality was a delicate thing.

XXX

Had James told anyone his three darkest fears, they would be the following:

One, dying. It was a great, yawning unknown, and it terrified him. He didn't know whether heaven or hell awaited him, and he hated the idea of not being sure until it was too late to do anything.

Two, helplessness. His fourth year was when they'd introduced boggarts. He had expected clowns (clowns were awful) or mimes (even worse) but to the surprise of James and the class alike, the boggart changed into Sirius, dead on the floor. Then Remus, with a gaping wound. Then Peter, his throat slashed. Then his mother, his father, his cousins...all dead before James could do anything. Professor Bertram had stepped in before they could see anymore horrific illusions, but not before James had caught a glimpse of red hair.

Three, losing something. He couldn't bear the thought of people losing faith in him, or losing confidence, or losing sight of his goals.

Or losing Lily.

XXX

An arrow whistled through the air to hit a tree, humming and vibrating from the sheer force of it.

"Oh bloody hell," James moaned, ducking and dodging and still managing to look annoyed, "not the _centaurs_." Lily whipped around. The half-horse, half-humans were galloping about, yelling fiercely.

"Oh good," Lily panted, wiping a trickle of something - blood? - from her brow. "Are they going to help us?" James laughed, a sarcastic sound.

"Help us?" he repeated cynically. "More likely _kill _us." Lily, dodging an arrow, didn't hear him but got the message all the same.

"Whose side are they on anyway?" she shouted in a mix of fear and anger. James laughed again, just as dry, only this time it had a more morbid ring to it.

"On the centaurs' side of course," was his cryptic reply, and then it all became too complicated for conversation. This was insane. Everything was so noisy. How could someone not hear them? She growled out of impatience, when it occurred to her where exactly they were. In the panic and adrenaline rush of the fight, they must've retreated and fallen back, because she didn't recall being quite as far into the Forbidden Forest as they now were.

She squinted past the flashes of light and Death Eater and centaurs, trying in vain to see the edge of the forest. There were only endless trees, swathed in mist with the occasional scorch mark thrown in.

Great. Just great. They were in the deepest, most dangerous part of the Forbidden Forest, Death Eaters from inside the castle had obviously gotten the others in, they were in the middle of an ambush, there were _centaurs_, for heaven's sake, and to top it all off, James looked far too attractive when he was fighting. So Lily did the only thing she could.

"Let's give 'em hell, James!" she roared and decided to go out with her wand blazing.

XXX

The Death Eater who had a deadly interest in seeing James die paused. He thought about what he was going to do. He was the one who had led the others in through the Whomping Willow passageway he knew from the night he'd snuck down into it. He was the one who had made sure that the right prefects were patrolling at the right times. And he had been the one to really make the entire thing work in the first place. So killing the two people that threatened the success of his plan should have been nothing.

And yet it wasn't.

He had to think like the Death Eater he was and not the student. It was too far in the game to back out now. This was not another game of wizard chess, where you could simply pick up the pieces and start again. But the blackest of villains have hearts, and whether they choose to listen to them is up to them.

Spells flying from his wand tip, he thought about it, unable to draw his attention from the problem at hand to the distraction the battle could have easily been. He saw Lily, sweaty and still oh so beautiful, shout something to Potter. He raised his wand, but hesitated. Could he do it? Could he really destroy one dream to achieve another?

Yes. Yes he could.

XXX

Lily's eyes connected with the mask that covered a face she would have recognized. She saw his wand raise, out of the corner of her eye. James yelled and launched himself at her. Then the world exploded.

Pain.

Fire. Fire everywhere -

Someone grabs her, pulls her down, yelling, don't, no, I'm not leaving -

It hurts, it hurts, please stop the fire -

Screaming, why is there screaming, help me, help me, don't leave -

"Stop!" yelled a voice she knew. Lily squeezed her eyes shut. Her arm was burning, her head pounded. "Stop, they're down!" Slowly, Lily's eyes opened. A crater of charred and blown apart earth. Broken trees. Black robes assessing the damage. A limp torso - _James_ - was thrown over her chest, a protective stance. He did not move. Like a movie playing in her head, Lily saw a scene from her own life as clear as day, the words that had been exchanged almost too sharp.

"_Very noble," James hissed, suddenly agitated, "but it isn't like the heroics you've heard about. People _die _in the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore nearly didn't allow us as it was."_

_People _die _in the Order of the Phoenix._

James was pushed off of Lily, a pressure she didn't want to have taken away. He rolled over to lay still, eyes closed, a slow trickle of blood tracing its red path across his cheek. His glasses were askew. Arms yanked her up, then pushed her up against the same tree James had. She let whoever it was control her, giving no resistance. Any second now, James would sit up and the duel would resume. Any second now. Any second. Any.

"Are you okay?" whispered a masked Death Eater. Lily looked up at him blankly. She knew that voice. He had shouted. He had been the one to use the explosive curse. With trembling fingers, she gently pulled the mask off.

The black eyes of Severus Snape stared back into hers.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: Perhaps Not So Hard to Get

"No," Lily said dully, shaking her head from one side to another as she slid down the bark of the tree to sit, stunned. "No." Sev said nothing, but stood up. Lily heard rustling and twigs snapping as the centaurs seemed to retreat, blending back into the forest.

"We don't kill the girl," he said sharply, his voice one of a commander. He was a Death Eater. He had killed - he had - no, no -

Pain, physical and emotional, slowly ebbed in and out of her, like a blood red tide. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she didn't want to. All she could do was stare at the lifeless form that had once been the boy who had loved her. _Please move. Please move. It hurts so bad, but if you move, I'll be okay. Damn it, James, don't do this!_

"Why shouldn't we just kill her and end it? She'll tell," Lucius complained. There was a murmur of agreement.

"We modify her memory," Sev said calmly. "The Dark Lord gave me leave. Are you going to go against him?" Silence. James still didn't move.

"Severus," Lucius said flatly, "are you going soft because of a filthy mudblood?" Another silence. Why wasn't James moving?

"I want to have a little fun with her before she's disposed of," Sev explained in a cold voice Lily had never heard him use. Comprehension hit Lily the same time as it hit the Death Eaters.

"Well that's different, then," Lucius said with approval. Lily shuddered, her body protesting with a wave of pain that she was too numb to feel as she imagined what sort of 'fun' she would be subjected to. The rest of the Death Eaters didn't seem to mind as much now.

"She gave me a nasty burn," came a girl's annoyed voice. Lucius' fiancé? "I say we just nick her and get it over with."

"Get it over with, save her for later, whatever, but I never liked this forest when I was a student here, and I don't like it now. Aren't there...things - bad things - in here?" another's voice asked apprehensively. .

"Yeah, where've the centaurs gone? They were here a minute ago. Nasty halfbreeds."

"They didn't seem to be the type to just back off."

"Will you be quiet? You're just a bunch of cowards. Afraid of a little herd of ponies. Never heard of such a thing in my life." A rustle. A twig snapping. A collective gasp.

"Get out of our forest," a voice from the blackness suddenly said. A thousand shadows were forming from the gloom. All eyes but Lily's flicked to them.

"Back off," said a braver Death Eater, pulling out his wand. "We aren't fussy with who and what we kill."

"You don't belong here. You are evil. You shall not taint this sanctuary," hissed another voice in rage. Lily closed her eyes, leaning her head against the tree. The centaurs. They were back. So it had been merely a brief retreat.

What happened next was too fast and too complicated for Lily to understand in her dazed state. The thunder of hooves, orders shouted, screaming, arrows whizzing, and then they were gone. The Death Eaters had run to the Hogwarts border and Apparated, having both won and lost. Centaurs, after all, are a force far too great for a group of people under twenty-two, however smart or coordinated such a group of people may be.

"What do we do with them?" asked the centaur who had spoken first. Lily frowned, her eyes still closed. They were talking about her. And James.

"We must take them back to the castle," said a young male's voice, earnest. A sharp female's voice cut him off before he could go further.

"They are foals," she snapped, "but they are nearing adulthood. We will not do anything. One looks to be dead anyhow. Or will you go against our laws, Firenze? The punishment is banishment."

"We will do nothing," repeated a male's voice firmly.

"Fine." Firenze's voice was flat and angry. Then, as they had come, they melted back into the shadows, leaving only churned up ground as evidence of their victory. Lily struggled to slip out of her stupor. Feeling was returning to her painfully, in her legs, in her already delicate ribs.

"James," she croaked, trying to stand but only falling to her knees. She crawled to where he lay motionless. "James." He didn't respond. Lily's breathing became more ragged. With trembling fingers she straightened his glasses and smoothed back his hair, still messy. She pulled back her hands, unsure of what to do. Finally she slumped over him, exhausted and in shock.

He was not dead. He couldn't be dead. He was going to wake up and be annoying.

She curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, drenched in blood and sweat. Slowly, she laid her head on his chest, willing his unmoving arms to wrap themselves around her. They did not.

"No," she said breathlessly. "No." She began to shake uncontrollably, great, bone jarring shudders that would not stop. "No." Could she not say anything else? In one fatal swoop everything came crashing down around her and she lost consciousness.

XXX

Severus Snape, aching all over, limped into the clearing where Lily and James lay, still unconscious. His face twisted at the sight of them, of Lily, protecting him. He wondered if Potter was dead, if she'd cried for him. He wondered if Lily would ever do the same for him. He had so hoped -

No.

He had to hurry, had to get back in bed before his absence was noticed. Dumbledore could not know of his involvement, though Severus was not stupid enough to think that word of his failed invasion wouldn't reach the headmaster's ears. He knelt by Lily, brushing hair out of her face, keeping his emotions in check. He pointed his wand directly between her eyes, took a breath.

"_Obliviate_," he whispered.

He stood after a moment, wiping his eyes almost angrily. Impulsively, he pointed his wand at Potter, mouth twisting, but though he waited for the will to finish his enemy off, it never came. Lily sighed in her sleep. Severus stowed his wand away.

Alone, he walked back to the castle.

XXX

He drifted.

He dreamt.

James was aware of a faint, mildly annoying pain in his side as well as a distant headache, but it was like he was floating underwater. He tried to open his eyes, but the black, swirling water seeped in through the cracks.

He supposed he was dead, and if he was, then his fears had been unbased. This wasn't so bad, really. He didn't have to breathe, so he didn't worry about drowning. For that matter, he didn't have to worry at all.

But there was the matter of Lily, whom he had left behind. He wondered if they were still fighting or if she'd backed them all off. If he could have grinned, he would have at that. She was a tiger, that was for sure.

A pity, actually, that it would be so long (hopefully) before he'd get to see her lovely green eyes. And when he'd thought about not having worries, well, he was wrong. The more aware he became of floating in this abyss, the more he remembered the living. There was Sirius and Remus and Peter and Mum and Dad and Lily. He didn't want to let that go. He wasn't going to let that go.

He worried more and more, and as he worried, the pain in his side increased as did the pain in his head until it was unbearable and pounding and he almost wanted to go back to drifting. But then he felt, with a small shock, someone laying across his chest limply, and despite how awful the world was, he decided that if Lily was staying, then there was no reason for him not to.

Slowly, painfully, James took a breath.

XXX

She drifted.

She dreamt.

She awoke at the darkest part of the morning, when it is black and silent. At first she had no idea where she was, who she was. But oblivion passed as her body made its aches known and the motion of James' chest rising up and down caused the dried blood on her arms to crack and split. Suddenly she lay perfectly still.

She took one, deep, rattling breath.

James was breathing.

James was alive.

She made a small whimpering noise and James stirred, his arms tightening around her. His arms were around her. He could move them. She fairly melted as his hazel eyes flicked down to assess her.

"You awake?" he mumbled, pushing himself up on his elbows carefully, so as not to disturb her. Lily clung to his shirt and looked up at him, trembling. James frowned, sitting up completely while pulling her up against him at the same time. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly. Lily felt something break inside of her.

"Oh my God," she sobbed, hysteria rising up quick and furious to bubble over dangerously. "You're - I thought - oh my God, oh my God, oh my God - " She began to hyperventilate, tears pouring hot and heavy over her cheeks.

"Lily," James said, surprised. Lily couldn't say anything, didn't want to say anything for fear it would all be a dream. After a few minutes of her dampening James' shirt and James patting her on the back in an adorably awkward way, her tongue unraveled and she said the two words that meant the most to her.

"Y-y-you're okay," she choked, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging for dear life. Dear life. Dear, dear life. Oh, he was _alive_. In one glorious moment of pure relief, she realized something that perhaps she had known for a long time, and she acted on this new comprehension.

Grabbing the sides of James' face, she kissed him full on the mouth.

James had a look of complete shock when she pulled away. Chest heaving, not caring if he didn't care for her anymore, Lily buried her head in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. It was earthy, with the coppery tang of blood from the ambush mixed in.

Then gentle hands cupped her chin, lifted it up.

"I love you," James breathed lightly, catching and holding her eyes. This time Lily felt a little twinge of annoyance before her lips were on his. James seemed to know that she was irritated within five seconds of her feeling the emotion. "What?" he asked as he pulled away, his voice betraying only the slightest hint of nervousness. Lily gave him a look.

"You beat me to it," she explained, tracing a finger up and down his throat without breaking eye contact. "I was going to say _I_ loved _you_." She laughed, mortified. "Emmy is just going to die..." Immediately James relaxed and they both grinned. Lily stopped hugging him to wipe at her eyes, but as soon as she felt decidedly less teary eyed, she flung her arms around him. James groaned.

"Ow," he said in a pained voice. Lily sat back at once.

"What?" she asked, alarmed. James gave her a fondly exasperated look.

"Did you think a little kiss was going to make it all better?" he asked dryly. "I dare say you'll be feeling your aches and pains soon enough." Lily grimaced, but she pecked him on the end of the nose anyway.

"We're going to have to clean this up," she said pointedly after a few minutes of very busy silence, indicating the vegetation-carnage. James shrugged, then winced.

"The Order'll take care of it," he said musingly, "but I can get rid of most of it." He dug around for his wand, gave it a wave, and a good bit of the mess straightened itself up. Lily stood up stiffly, stretching and immediately regretting it. James got up as well, making a face.

"We should go back up to the castle," Lily said after another bout of busy silence. "McGonagall will skin us alive if she catches us out here." James rolled his eyes, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'teacher's pet.' In a twist of weather-related misfortune, it started raining.

"Oh bloody hell," James complained as both he and Lily were soaked. Lily snorted and walked out of the forest into the downpour, stopping near the Whomping Willow.

"Invisibility Cloaks are good for something besides sneaking down to the kitchen to get food," she said teasingly, scooping it up and holding it above her head. Every inch of her was protesting movement, but somehow that didn't matter as much as it normally would have. James scrunched his nose at her as he joined her under their makeshift umbrella.

XXX

James was in a great deal of pain.

He suspected that he had a broken collarbone, a sprained ankle, and at least two fractures in his right leg, which made for difficult walking.

He was also extremely giddy, and - although you could reasonably blame it on blood loss - he had a pretty good hunch that it was entirely due to the miracle that just occurred. He couldn't wait to rub it in Sirius' face. And Remus'. And anyone - and EVERYONE - else who had dared suggest that he, James Potter, wouldn't eventually-after-seven-years-okay-it-was-a-really-long-time get his girl.

Because that's what Lily was now. She was his girl. He laughed, earning him the oh so familiar Look from Lily that questioned his sanity. But it took on a whole new meaning now that she was his.

Yes, James was in a great deal of pain.

And he was loving every minute of it.

XXX

When they got to the castle, James let the Invisibility Cloak drop to hang around their ankles. Motioning for her to be quiet, he gently pushed a side door that led into an generally unused corridor and led her in.

The two, all too conscious of the dripping noise their drenched clothes provided and their exposed ankles, pattered (mostly limped) up and down hallways until they made it to the moving staircases. Narrowly avoiding a suspicious prefect, a hissing Ms. Norris, and Peeves making mischief, they finally made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" she said disapprovingly as they pulled off the cloak. No doubt she had a very scandalous idea as to where they'd been.

"Galloping Gargoyles," James said piously, looking positively saintly, which caused Lily to go into a fit of giggles. The Fat Lady smiled tiredly and swung open, letting Lily and James stumble into the Common Room. Now that her life was no longer in danger, Lily felt quite pleased about surviving her first real battle.

"Let's do it again," she said brightly and James laughed. They sat down by the fire for awhile, warmth drying their clothes and providing a far cozier atmosphere for snogging than a brewing storm.

But something was troubling Lily, an embarrassing sort of thing, and it took a great deal of wheedling from her new boyfriend - good Lord, he was her _boyfriend _now - to get it out of her.

"All right, all right," she said at last. James was far too persuasive a kisser. "Please don't laugh." She rolled her eyes as James solemnly crossed his heart. "You know how for the last nearly seven years I've repeatedly and publicly renounced you?" she started hesitantly. James snickered, sensing where it was going, but quickly coughed to cover it. "Well I really don't want to tell my friends I was ambushed by supporters of Voldemort on school grounds and have it go everywhere, because Emmy - I love her dearly, mind you - can't keep her mouth shut. So can we ease into this...relationship? At least in public?" James threw back his head and laughed.

"D'you think that really matters to me right now?" he grinned. "Ease into it, plunge headlong into it - whatever. So long as there _is _a relationship." Lily blushed and kissed him lightly on the mouth.

"Thank you," she said honestly before adding cheekily, "I have to keep up the hard-to-get image you know." James smiled and almost absentmindedly stroked her cheek. Lily caught his hand and held it there.

"I'll need that back," James said wryly, nodding towards his hand. Lily cocked an eyebrow.

"Then I have to have something in return," she said, mock serious. James immediately modified his expression to one of extreme melodrama.

"How about my heart?" he asked dramatically and Lily swatted at him, laughing. She dove at him and they both toppled over on the rug. The fire had dwindled down considerably now, and both of them were completely content just to lay side by side and watch the sun rise.

And even though Lily (in order to keep up that hard-to-get image) left for her dormitory and James to his, she wasn't sorry to go.

They'd have all the time in the world.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen: In Which Emmy Loses a Bet to Remus

"Mr. Potter!"

James turned around as he limped down the hallway. Professor McGonagall was standing expectantly next to a bust of Parcelsus, expression foreboding.

"Yes Professor?" James ventured. McGonagall raised one eyebrow, silent.

"The Headmaster requests your presence," she said at last. "Also, do drop by the Hospital Wing to be sure your late night escapades haven't injured you too seriously. "James gulped. Apparently the ambush hadn't been as secret as he'd hoped. Oh well. He was going to have to report at some point anyway.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked as James walked back to the Marauders. Sirius and Peter frowned at him as James made an attempt at a nonchalant shrug.

"Order business," he said vaguely. And he left them sharing confused looks as he trotted off to the spinning eagle statue that led to an office he had seen the inside of many, many times before.

XXX

"Miss Evans!"

_Oh no._

"Yes Professor?" Lily responded brightly, turning back to her Transfiguration teacher. _Please let it not be because of last night, please let it not be because of last night, please -_

"The Headmaster will see you in his office," McGonagall sighed, rubbing her temple. "Oh, Miss Evans...I had so hoped." Lily swallowed hard.

"Hoped for what?" she asked. Professor McGonagall looked at her, almost sad.

"Hoped that you would stay safe," was her cryptic answer. "Speak to Professor Dumbledore about joining and I will see you next meeting, I suppose. By the way, he is incurably fond of Drooble's Best Chewing Gum."

Lily nodded, somewhat confused, but pleased to know that she was in the Order at long last. And really, after all had been said and done, seeing Dumbledore in his office was nowhere near as bad as nearly losing James.

XXX

Maybe it was Lily's incandescent attitude, maybe it was the fact that she skipped to classes, but after a whole week of a starry-eyed Evans, it was evident.

Something was up.

It was Friday afternoon, and Lily and James were being overly cordial to each other. Lily felt all of her friends' questioning eyes on her, but she pretended to be completely oblivious. It was hard enough not launching into James' arms and snogging him for all she was worth as it was. Every sappy line about teenaged love was beautiful in her eyes, and although it would wear off in a month in a half (replaced by a thankfully more practical attraction), it would wear thin on everyone else far more rapidly.

"Three o' clock," Lily commented nonchalantly. "Anyone up for a walk?" No one volunteered, but everybody stared. "All right then," she went on carefully. "I'll go alone. If anybody needs me I'll be at...the lake." She left, waited by the Fat Lady, counted to seventy, and then, right on schedule, James walked through the portrait hole to meet her.

"Blimey," he sighed. "I thought I'd never get out of there."

"Well, now we've got a good four hours," Lily pointed out. "What do you want to do?" Behind them, the Fat Lady snorted.

"Let's go for a walk," James suggested, "but instead of by the lake, where everyone will assume we'll be, let's go to the Room of Requirement."

"The Room of Requirement?" Lily asked, skeptical. "I've never heard of it except in school legend, along with that 'Chamber of Secrets' rubbish. Are you sure it really exists?" James rolled his eyes.

"Look," he said sarcastically, lips twitching, "the world's revolving around you." Lily put her hands on her hips.

"Well _your _world better revolve around me," she growled good naturedly, plucking James' glasses off the bridge of his nose.

"Hey!" he protested, squinting. "I'm blind without those!" Lily kissed him soundly before placing them back on.

"Now," she said lightly. "Behold my beauty." James grinned, slipping an arm around her waist and walking them both to wherever they were going.

"With pleasure."

As they strolled, the subject changed from one happy nothing to another. Somehow, they managed to get to the Room of Requirement, despite a lot of pausing and snogging and laughing. Lily let James continue with his either real quest to find this room or elaborate prank, content to simply watch him walk around in three circles, looking like an idiot. She decided that he was very dashing as an idiot.

A door grew from the wallas James slowed, much to her astonishment, and he grabbed her hand, leading her into it. Grinning and still holding her hand gently, he put his free hand over her eyes and pulled her across the threshold.

"Open your eyes," he whispered right into her ear. A pleasant tingle ran down her spine at his cool breath against her neck. Slowly, to savor the moment, she opened one eye, then the other. And gasped.

It was beautiful.

The Room of Requirement, was not a room, but a vast garden, filled with blooming flowers (a great deal of lilies, she noticed), trees, and interesting little paths that one wanted to explore. The effect was of complete and total paradise. Any other day, she would have scoffed at the sentimental feel to it, rolled her eyes, saying it was so cliche. And yet, knowing that James had done it for her made it so much more meaningful on so many different levels. It was with mild surprise that she realized a lump was constricting her throat and her eyes were strangely wet.

"Hey," James said, quiet and concerned as he cupped her chin. "What this?" Lily turned away quickly to wipe away the tears that had managed to escape. James' arms encircled her.

"I'm not upset," Lily said hastily, before he could ask. "Just..." She dwindled off, unsure how to explain her mixed feelings.

"Well, we're alone now," James said in his please-don't-cry-I-can't-deal-with-women-crying-so-let's-just-look-at-the-bright-side voice. Lily giggled wetly.

"Yeah, no obnoxious friends," she said amusedly, getting his point.

"WHAT?"

Lily and James both whipped around at the familiar voice. There was an almighty rustling in the foliage behind them and a tangled mess of people fell out of it.

"_Em - _my!"

"Way to go. It was _just _getting interesting!"

"Told you she couldn't keep her mouth shut. Told you."

Lily gaped.

"Emmy?" she shrieked, recognizing the disheveled forms on the ground. "Alice? _Frank_? MARY?"

"Sirius! Peter!" James growled, letting go of Lily to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I should've known." Sirius scrambled to his feet, indignant, while Peter smirked.

"It wasn't just me," he complained, pouting. "Remus was the mastermind this time." James groaned, while Lily nodded, her expression annoyed, but resigned.

"Et tu, Remus?" James asked wearily, putting his hand down to grin in defeat. Remus, as he gallantly helped Emmy to her feet, looked far too smug for his own good. Mary was beaming.

"I _knew _it," she said, quite pleased. "I always _knew _they'd end up together."

"I can't believe you would _do _this!" Lily yelled, stamping her foot. Frank looked properly abashed, but Alice and Mary looked skeptical.

"Perhaps being in the throes of young love has messed with your mind," Mary said, one eyebrow raised and hands on hips, "but how could we _not_?"

"Yes," Alice said briskly, dusting off her knees, "unfortunately for you, you have very nosy friends."

"Your business is our business," Mary added cheerily.

"Naturally," Remus agreed, grinning. "Just like James' business is _our _business." James scowled good naturedly. Emmy, however, looked very put out.

"There is no proof that they were snogging!" she cried, pursing her lips. Alice rolled her eyes as everybody else but a very confused Lily and James groaned.

"Here we go again," Sirius said with tones of long suffering. Emmy glared at him.

"I am _not _losing a bet to Remus," she said firmly, getting all huffy. "I have _never _lost a bet to _Remus_." Alice sighed heavily.

"Well there's a first time for everything, dear," she said wearily, but Emmy merely shook her head imperiously.

"No proof," she repeated stubbornly. James' expression suddenly looked suspiciously innocent.

"Oh, so it's proof you want, is it?" he asked with feigned surprise. "I'm sure Lily and I can accommodate." And with that, he grabbed Lily around the waist, dipped her so low her hair was brushing the ground, and kissed her fully on the mouth.

Lily was, understandably, a little giddy when they both surfaced, gasping.

The would-be eavesdroppers seemed to have stopped breathing.

Then:

"YES!" Remus cried, punching the air. "I won, I won, I won!" Everybody but a still severely dazed Emmy stared as he began to do a bizarre victory dance in a circle.

"Hmm," Alice said in a surprisingly flirtatious voice, "that gives me an idea." And she pulled Frank down to snog him properly.

"Well, if we're all in the mood," Sirius said amiably, strolling casually over to Emmy to lightly tap her on the shoulder. Emmy, eyes huge and still trained on Lily and James, turned her head slightly towards him. With almost comic gentleness, Sirius kissed her on the mouth. Emmy's eyes immediately flicked to his eyes, caught unawares. There was a moment of painful indecision, and then she relaxed, so Sirius relaxed, so Lily relaxed, so James relaxed, so Peter relaxed, so Remus relaxed, so Frank relaxed, so Alice relaxed in one very relaxing relaxation.

Within minutes, everybody was snogging, except for Mary, Remus and Peter, who took one look at each other and scooted away.

"I can't tell you how awkward this is Peter," Remus said loudly while Lily entwined her fingers in James' hair.

"I know exactly what you mean Remus," Peter half shouted back, watching Emmy and Sirius with an expression of mixed nausea and disgust.

"Yes, I can't _believe _how utterly _scary _it is watching you all _snog_!" Remus yelled, exasperated. Mary put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile.

"I MAY BE SCARRED FOR LIFE," Peter said in a voice that could have reached Hogsmeade. The three couples separated with the sound of several plungers being pulled out of toilets.

"Why haven't we done this before?" Emmy asked Sirius tipsily. Sirius frowned in thought.

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully. James coughed loudly, clearing his throat. Lily could have sworn she heard him mutter 'commitment issues.' Thankfully, Sirius and Emmy were in no position to listen, having immediately closed the gap between them with surprising eagerness. After a few minutes, they stopped long enough for a very put out Emmy to be badgered into handing over her debt to Remus (a galleon, if you really want to know).

"I won the bet," Remus said happily, pocketing his gold. Emmy glared.

"First and last time, Lupin," she warned, and would have gone further if it weren't for Sirius pulling her into another embrace. Remus backed away hurriedly, looking anywhere but at them. Peter had long ago covered his eyes.

"In all fairness, that kiss was a long time coming," Alice said contentedly, leaning into Frank's chest as Sirius and Emmy separated again and started to walk down one of the paths, having completely forgotten that they weren't alone.

"No kidding," Peter said weakly, looking queasy. Remus shuddered.

"I will never be in love," he declared firmly. "It is silly and turns perfectly good bachelors into idiots." Lily smiled mischievously.

"I'm sure we'll find you someone to settle you down," she teased. "She'll have to be wild and crazy to match your levelheadedness though."

"And she'll have to _love _dogs," James added, smirking.

"Not to mention a leniency for late nights," Peter put in, looking slightly less green and slightly more happy. Alice and Frank, though somewhat confused, laughed along with them. Mary laughed for the first time in weeks, coyly wrapping her arms around Remus' neck.

"Funny," she said throatily, "I absolutely _adore _dogs." And she kissed him to general approval.

And although Remus couldn't help but notice the irony in Mary's statement, Sirius and Emmy were quite busy somewhere else, and Peter knew he would be having nightmares about James and Lily making out for the rest of his life, everything was perfectly fine.

Such is the way of love.


	16. Epilogue

"I'd like to make a toast!" Sirius Black, best man to the groom, cried, holding his champagne glass high. The guests of Lily and James' wedding reception laughed and clapped appreciatively.

"Go on then," Emmeline Vance called from where she sat across from Sirius, wearing a spectacular little black dress.

"To the bride and groom," Sirius said warmly. "May they live a long and happy life together." There was a ripple of more clapping from all around the long table under the golden tent.

"Hello, wife," James whispered in her ear. Lily scrunched her nose at him for a moment before lifting her hand to let the ring on it glimmer in the light. It was a small pressure on her finger, a small pressure she enjoyed exceedingly.

"Hello, husband." She smiled.

If you were going to be technical, she and James had been married for about two days, as they had decided to do both a Muggle and a wizarding ceremony, therefore sparing Lily's parents from all the magical mishaps that were wont to happen when several wizards and witches got together with potentially unlimited supplies of alcohol. After all, it just wasn't a party unless Sirius got drunk.

But first, a dance.

"This is completely ridiculous. We've already had our first dance," Lily said as James courteously pulled out her chair. The little string quartet in the corner was starting up a quite obviously sentimental tune and Lily was sure she was blushing. "Completely ridiculous."

"Humor me," was James' only response.

And so she allowed herself to be led onto the dance floor with polite clapping from all the guests. James put his hand on her waist, she put her hand on his shoulder, and they began rotating in small circles. To everyone it looked as though they were gazing ardently into each other's eyes. To everyone who knew them, it was quite clear they were having a staring contest.

"Everyone is looking at us," Lily informed him.

"Yes, they are. I don't know if you noticed, but it is our wedding," James replied cheerily.

"Why are we up here?"

"No idea, my love."

"Oh, you."

"Whatever can you mean, my love?"

"Stop that."

"As you wish, my love."

"_James_."

"I am your devoted servant, my bubbling, frothing cup of purest and most delicate adoration."

He blinked and Lily giggled.

"I win," she said, and he twirled her elaborately. This was what she loved, this odd, fond banter. More couples began to join them on the dance floor.

"You, my dear, are a veritable Ginger Rogers," James commented as she twirled back to him.

"How do you - ?"

"She was a witch. And Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby were both wizards."

Lily widened her eyes in surprise. James rolled his.

They kissed, to general approval.

"I love you."

"I suppose I'm somewhat fond of you, too."

"James!"

And, with the stars twinkling above them in a dark, velvety sky, they danced and laughed and loved.


End file.
